NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 51 - DON'T ARC OFF, ARCHON

Welcome to NAD Episode 51, featuring an array of diverse and stimulating topics such as:

How Does A Rainbow Go? / What A Cat Saw / Expounding The Interdimensional Hypothesis / Grey Alien Sex Majick Rituals / Describin’ Gnostic Reptilians / Carl Jung on UFOs / Mini-Bilderberg / The New World Order Commemorative Glock / Earthquake Chat / Name Dropping Moloch / This Chick Is Going Down


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DEATH METAL DADS EPISODE 3 - STARING THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DAD (WITH MARISSA MARTINEZ-HOADLEY)

Dad-Chat HEATS UP in Episode 3: STARING THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DAD!

In this month's installment, Aesop and Shelby are joined by their bestest pal and bandmate Marissa Martinez-Hoadley (Cretin, Repulsion) to make an attempt at not talking about dicks for 90 minutes. Topics include (but are not limited to): A Brief Celebration of the 100th Anniversary of The Elephant Pajama Joke, Psyllium Husk: Dietary Supplement or Prog Band?, Thawing Out The Blue Grape Neanderthal, How We're All Slowly Dying, Metamucinex/Stool-Aid/Shit Knit (Poop Tips with Grampa Dekker), Steve Vai-able Guitarists, Poseballs and How They Apply To Online Fuckstyles, Rihanna Chat, Scissoring Over Star Trek: TNG, The Guy From Obituary's Meth Lab, Brian Playing Frogger, Aesop's Staunch Anti-Immigrant Stance, DADS DON'T GRAVITY BLAST, A 4-Person Mosh Pit In a Fancy Penthouse Apartment, Nuclear Centaur Cock, Fucked With A Porsche, A Garfield Greeting Card Containing an Applebee's Gift Certificate and a Message Reading: "Hey Mom, I'm Transgendered!", Losing A Dick In First Life Whilst Gaining One In Second Life, I Cum Syrup/Waffle House Menu Items That Sound Like Cannibal Corpse Songs, Brony674 Calling QA To Get His Penis Fixed, and of course, everyone's favorite segment Fatherly Advice (featuring "It's A Boy! Or Is It?/Fuck It To Death"). All this and SO MUCH MORE. Wowie zowie what a program!!!

Spoiler: They talk about dicks. A lot.

Music:
Cannibal Corpse, "Staring Through The Eyes of the Dead"
Cretin, "How To Wreck Your Life In Three Days"

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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 50 - TO GLOCK A SQUATCH

Fifty Episodes! Wha Happened? In this one:

Squatchin’ Or Skinwalkin’? / Interdimensional Cryptoids / Biggest Ba’als Of Them All / Psychic Bob And The Hathors / Cleophus Brown Sees A UFO / Weird Mortuary Rites Of George Bush Sr. / Disney Magic Shuts The Door


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BONUS VIDEO CONTENT HOLY FUCK!



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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 49 - HOO CARES HOO'S LISTENIN'

Truther Jams! Human Mutilatiions! Rock Bands Down The Rabbit Hole! Describin’ Memes: Funny Club Edition! Republican Initiation Rites! Illuminated Shakespeare! SO MUCH TRUTH YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!


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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 48 - WAVE OF CATTLE MUTILATION

Describin’ Mutilations! An Amazing True Case of a Mutilated Cow! We Visit the Scene of an Actual Mutilation! Edgar Mitchell’s Psychic Experiments From Outer Space! Sarah Hangs Out With Real Pilots and Gets Real UFO Stories! THIS ONE GOES DEEP.


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DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 2 - DAD BY DAWN (WITH MIKE SCHEIDT)

Welcome to Episode 2 of Death Metal Dads: DAD BY DAWN!

In this chapter, the beautiful and talented Mike Scheidt (Yob, Vhol) joins Shelby and Aesop LIVE at the Phallus Palace to discuss various and sundry topics, including (but not limited to): Openly Weeping Over Star Trek TNG, A Table For One At Denny's And The Resulting Food Sadness, Train Sounds, Penis Metal, Sharkfuckin'/Fast As A Shark (Depending On The Specific Shark And Type of Transportation Involved), Wesley Grindcrusher, Elephant Walrus Mating Season, More Train Sounds, Glen Benton Shampooing His Hair In The Ladies' Room, Steve Asheim's Insurance Seminar/Doing Donuts In A Hummer In The Parking Lot Behind The Venue, A Goat Semen Shirt at The PTA Meeting, Captain Picard's Pennywhistle, Four Frowny Bald Tough Dudes And A Jazz Dad, JESUS even MORE Train Sounds?, Visigoth Baking Hudson's Melon, Aesop Having Sex With A Horribly Disfigured Freak, Mike Getting Dimebagged, Deicide Mondegreens, The Cocoa-Demon, Fucking Your Friends' Moms, Fish Nipples, and of course, everyone's favorite segment Fatherly Advice. Followed by more Train Sounds.

Music:
Deicide, "Dead By Dawn"
Vhol, "The Desolate Damned"

Join the Dads again in April for Episode 3: STARING THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DAD, featuring Marissa Martinez-Hoadley (Cretin, Repulsion, Exhumed).

Don't Be A Creep!


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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 47 - CIBOLO CREEK STAR WHACKERS

We go straight down the rabbit hole on the Scalia death, trace out the entire occult history of the participants, and emerge with a STARTLING NEW REVELATION that connects shit in a way that will (hopefully) blow your mind! Or just keep jerking off and watching wrestling, I don't care.


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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 46 - DADS AFTER DARK

Magickal Online Seminars! The Pick Up Magician! Pick Up Dads! Furry Perversions! Hashtag Stay Woke Shit! Trump Knows 9/11! Is There Really A Book Of Secrets? Space Music! Shaded Half Of The Satellite! Reviews Of Shows And Movies! Lucifer At The Superbowl!


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DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 1 - ALTARS OF DADNESS

It's the much anticipated debut of Illogical Contraption's newest unneccesary spinoff, DEATH METAL DADS!

In this pilot episode, your intrepid hosts Shelby and Aesop discuss Dadness, Sadness, Madness, Death Metal Addiction, Valentine's Day, Natural Purple Watermelon Flavor, Morbid Angel, and Floridian Rednecks, all the while floating on a bromantic cloud of Lick Me All Over incense.

The pals will be back in a month with a very special secret guest for Episode 2: DAD BY DAWN. Don't take the brown acid!


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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 45 - ONCE YOU GO FLAT...

Wow! The Popobawa! Celebrity Clones! DNA Activation! A Brand New Cult! Lisa Frank and Her Coke Problem! Wow!


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