What Did You Say?

• published: 08 Mar 2015
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Many of the conflicts shortcomings and dissatisfactions we have with our lives are direct results of ineffective communication. All successful interpersonal relationships whether they are familial romantic or professional are built on good communication.Similarly when interpersonal relationships don't work or stop working communication breakdowns are frequently a root cause. In such cases the very act of communicating can be frustrating daunting or seem impossible. As a result many people simply avoid trying to communicate and simply carry on with a deteriorating status quo causing the relationship to decay and the people involved to become estranged.As part of your plan for personal success focus on developing effective communication skills. These skills will unlock your potential and help you achieve happiness and personal growth in your relationships.As a Life coach I offer simple yet effective strategies to help you become a better communicator. The key to building better communication skills is to understand the three components of communication. Once you understand the components that build effective communication you can apply them to send messages to the people in your life and understand the messages others are trying to send to you. The three components of communication are words subtext and body language. Note that the actual words you choose form only onethird of an interpersonal communication. The underlying message of the words and the manner in which they are delivered are equally if not more important than the actual diction you choose.Even so words make up the bulk of any effort you make to communicate with another person. As such they must be chosen carefully. A good strategy is to carefully refine the message you want to send before you send it. Make it clear concise and precise. Avoid rambling meandering and straying from the key point you are trying to make.Subtext is sometimes called paraverbal communication and it forms an important part of any verbal message. Regardless of whether or not you intend for there to be any underlying meaning in the message you're sending it is important to understand that people interpret things in specific ways for specific reasons. Consider the following three sentencesI didn't say you were wrong.I didn't say you were wrong.I didn't say you were wrong.In each of the preceding sentences the words are identical but the meaning is different. As you become a better communicator you will learn how to harness things like tone of voice and emphasis to support and reinforce rather than undermine the message you are trying to send.Finally be aware of the role that body language plays in communication. Always remember that communication is a twoway street. Be assertive about delivering your message as well as receptive to the messages being sent back to you. Positive body language is always a good thing. Whenever possible deliver your messages with a smile and an inviting sense of openness to responses. I cannot stress enough the importance of communication as it is fundamental to selfimprovement and to the success of your interpersonal relationships. When you become a better communicator you will become a better and happier person. Communication is what allows you to express what you want and what you don't want. It unlocks doors transforms unreceptive people into receptive ones and helps you find opportunities and progress towards your goals. Good communicators feel better about themselves and about their lives because they are more readily able to share and interact with those who shape the present and the future. AB