DTB's Best NBA Dunks of the Month (April 2016 Dunkilation)
A BRIEF
HISTORY OF THE DUNK
INTERLUDE I: SOME DUNKS, RANKED
In our written history of the slam dunk, we have now arrived at the modern era of dunking. It would be rather pointless to expound in detail upon this era, as every possible reader will already have a thorough understanding of it. The explosion of online video has made the dunk into an art form: widely studied, widely critiqued, and possessing an inherent beauty that elevates it to the same level as the
Baroque concertos of
Vivaldi or the impressionistic paintings of
Monet.
Instead of describing how the dunk evolved from the thirties to the turn of the century and beyond, we will instead present a sampling of some notable slam dunks along with commentary. Dunks are listed in rough order of importance from least to most.
-Billy
Kimball in backyard in
Alabama (no video available): The first dunk ever, after centuries, millennia, and entire geological periods had passed marked only by failed attempts.
-Tom
Chambers over
Mark Jackson ( https://youtu.be/UDyBSTQDwH8 ): Chambers hit
Jackson on the way up for his dunk and the collision only propelled Chambers further into the air. Jackson received a pair of knees straight to his breastbone, while Chambers had to contort himself so as to not injure his jaw on the rim.
-Gerald Wallce over
Bostjan Nachbar ( https://youtu.be/Z75YO5QGsMM ): Since this dunk occurred during a preseason game, it does not count.
-Markel
Brown in college ( https://youtu.be/HPueT60rloM ): Brown, playing for
Oklahoma State, was ejected after disrespecting the game with an uncalled-for poster dunk on some dude.
-DeAndre
Jordan over
Brandon Knight ( https://youtu.be/NTkN2q6sUUk ): In the companion book "
History and
Encyclopedia of
Wrestling Moves", this dunk appears in the chapter on Piledrivers.
Please refer to page 274 of "History…" for more information regarding this dunk.
-Julius "
Dr. J."
Erving from the free throw line ( https://youtu.be/OYrjX5pihgI ):
Closer inspection reveals that Erving's foot was inside the line when he jumped. However, most anatomists and physicists even to the present day will state that it is impossible for a human being to dunk from more than ten feet away from the rim, unless that human is located in a low-gravity environment such as the moon or even the black void of space itself, so this dunk remains impressive.
-Michael Jordan from the free throw line ( https://youtu.be/OD54eF2XKJA ): Somewhat more legitimate than Erving's alleged free throw line dunk. It is also rendered more impressive by the fact that Jordan was only
6'6" at the time of the attempt. Most scientists deny that this dunk ever occurred.
-Michael Jordan in
Space Jam ( https://youtu.be/-S9W9xZikkA ):
Close inspection of the unedited game tape from the
Tune Squad-Monstars matchup shows telltale signs of forgery. Thus, this beyond-half-court dunk, which featured Jordan improbably stretching his arm out to reach the basket while being weighed down by all five members of the opposing team, should be considered fraudulent. Also, it was not truly a slam dunk, because his hand did not touch the rim.
-Blake
Griffin over
Timofey Mozgov ( https://youtu.be/xwx9HiM4Aw0 ): Please refer to last sentence of preceding paragraph. Not a dunk.
-Shaq over
Chris Dudley ( https://youtu.be/0ICBi-ku-G0 ):
Shaq's dunk was not any more powerful than his average dunk, but the inclusion of a tall obstacle (Chris Dudley) lends it substantially more impact. After the dunk was complete, Shaq pushed
Dudley to the ground so as to get him out of the way. Dudley displayed exceptionally poor sportsmanship by throwing the ball back towards Shaq in anger.
-Stromile
Swift over
Tyrus Thomas ( https://youtu.be/FfN0gF6MIRQ ): Both players died as a result of this dunk, with Swift collapsing to the ground just after managing to form a gang
symbol with his arms. The game was halted with 9:57 left in the second quarter, the Bulls defeating the
Nets, 34-28. An unerasable black mark on the league.
-Scottie
Pippen on
Patrick Ewing ( https://youtu.be/srl2Bwh6A3I ): This dunk makes
Billy Kimball's first-ever dunk look like garbage. No lie.
-Javonte
Douglas in
Florida high school game ( https://youtu.be/_NREJAtsyBM ): Only four words are required to capture the essence of this dunk:
Navel at rim level.
-Vince
Carter Olympic Dunk ( https://youtu.be/XMrPjl-927Q ):
Frederic Weis never played in the
NBA; his soul was cleanly flushed from his body at the exact moment that Carter went flying over it, leaving him with no desire to play basketball ever again. This is indisputably the greatest slam dunk to ever occur up to the present time. However, the future brings us slam dunks that the average present-day human cannot ever hope to comprehend. Only the most learned of dunk scholars can understand their sublime, if foreign, beauty…