How To Stop Playing The Victim And Start Changing Your Life

• published: 23 Jul 2015
• views: 18

If you want to change your life for the better, you need to stop playing the victim. What's up? Isaiah here. Today we're going to talk about why you need to stop blaming other people for your problems. Listen, you are the source of your problems. Nobody else. It falls on you. When something bad happens to you, it's not other people's responsibility to make you feel better, because nobody can make you feel anything. Nobody can make you feel better. Nobody can adjust your attitude for you. Nobody can determine the direction of your focus. These are the things you need to control when things go wrong, your attitude and your focus. The problem is a lot of people allow themselves to indulge in self-pity. They play the victim, and there are a lot of problems with playing the victim. It leads to a lot of things, three things in particular. It leads to a sense of entitlement. It leads to being more selfish, and it, also, leads to learned helplessness. Studies have shown this. It's something that we have all had to work on. It's something I've had to work on myself. A few years ago, when I was in graduate school, I got diagnosed with a chronic condition that's brought about by stress. Relax, I'm fine now, obviously, but back then it was a big hit to me. I was like, okay, I'm young. I'm healthy. This shouldn't be happening. This isn't fair. Why me? Why is this happening? These are the questions I asked myself, and I started ruminating on it, and I was like this isn't fair. The world owes me better than this. I started looking to other people to make me feel better. In fact, I started expecting them to make me feel better. I would measure how good a person was by whether or not they took time out of their day to help me feel better about myself, and nobody could ever make me feel better, because, again, that fell on me, and I wasn't taking responsibility for it. I was playing the victim. Again, studies show that there is three things that happen when you allow yourself to play the victim. Number one, you become entitled. You get a greater sense of entitlement, like other people owe you, like other people are supposed to fix you. This makes no sense, but it happens. This is why you have to fight these feelings. This is why you have to stop blaming other people, and put the responsibility back on you, because other people can't help. You have to help yourself. For you to walk around and feel like you had something horrible happen to you, and because of that, everyone else in your life needs to acknowledge it. They need to act a certain way. They need to respect it. It's total crap. Stop thinking that way. That's the first thing you have to get rid of. That's the first downfall of thinking like a victim. The second is you become more selfish. A lot of people who play the victim in their own life, they have this woe is me boohoo attitude. They think that other people are just selfish jerks, because they're not caring about them and what happened to them enough. They're not acknowledging just how many negative things they've had to go through. In fact, people who play the victim, studies show, again, that these people are less like to help others. People that play the victim, they're actually the selfish ones. They're the ones that are less likely to get out if they see somebody's car broken down on the side of the road. They're less likely to get out and help them push their car off the road, small things like this. When you are focused on yourself and how bad you have it, you're not going to help other people out. You're just going to keep spiraling downward into this pit of self-pity. Until next time, live like a lion.