10 School Trips That Went Horribly Wrong!
10
School Trips That Went Horribly
Wrong!
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Number One:
Leominster is called the “comb” city because of all it’s plastic history, which largely explains Mayor
Dean Mazzarella’s haircut: But just to show you how terribly boring this now closed museum is, here’s an excerpt from their website: The resident “Plastorian” at the
Center is full of interesting plastic facts. He tells us that
John Wesley Hyatt, “grandfather of the plastics industry” and inventor of the celluloid billiard ball, was on the short list to have a rest stop named for him on the
New Jersey Turnpike, alas, then repeatedly passed over for the honor.
Number Two: Why?? Why would ANY teacher ever put their kids through this?? Because it’s in
Grafton and you didn’t wanna spend money going to a real museum? Seriously though, this is a museum filled with clocks. And while you’re there someone dressed a colonial lectures you about the evolution of clocks and watches.
Field trips happen to this place in real life.
Number Three: I think the part of history that appealed to me the least was the
Pilgrims. What was to like? They moved here because the
English weren’t prude enough for them. They were miserable most of the time because they didn’t have heating systems, there was no
Market Basket, and no
Wifi. You go in these huts and see what their living conditions were like, and the whole time you’re thinking, “
People left
England for this?” Then if you were really lucky they went and brought you down to
Plymouth Rock. In your mind it’s this bad ass boulder. Then you get there and it’s just a stupid rock.
Number Four: This was a trip that was really more for Eastern
Mass kids, but lots of
Central Mass kids get dragged here too because it’s one of the oldest museums in the country.
It’s huge and chalk-filled with tons of artifacts, manuscripts, culture, architecture, and gardens. The only reason you would ever go to this place is if your teacher was an asshole. It fulfills their hippie wet dreams and so they think the kids like it too.
Kill me now.
Number Five: When you went to a welfare school like I did, you didn’t get to go to the
Museum of Science in
Boston. That was for
Shrewsbury kids.
Instead you took a 15 minute bus ride down to
Massasoit Road for some economical fun at the Audobahn
Society’s
Brood Meadow Brook Conservation Center. It fancies itself a place where you can go
and see wildlife. But let’s be real. How much wildlife can possibly exist lodged between
Grafton Hill and
Granite Street? If you were REALLY lucky you saw a deer. But more often than not you walked across a footbridge while your hippie guide showed you all the different kinds of algae. And if you came during the right season you got to look at butterflies.
Cool.
Number Six: Some people loved this place before it closed.
I am not one of those people. It’s exactly what it sounds like – a museum full of armory. That’s it. Just a bunch of scrap metal that people wore to protect themselves from
Duke of France. Ironically, from the waist down back then they dressed exactly like women do in
2015.
Number Seven: You might call it the Ecotarium, but it will always be the
New England Science Center to me. The only thing I looked forward to at this place was the train ride to nowhere. Asides from that it’s just a bunch of wildlife sleeping. They’re always sleeping. Of course the big draw was the now deceased polar bear, but to me it’s not worth watching wildlife if they’re not killing other wildlife. That poor polar bear had the most boring life of any polar bear on earth.
Imagine spending your entire existence next to
North High School. Kill me now.
Number Eight: I shit you not (no pun intended) many a
Worcester County child has been to the water treatment plant in
Millbury.
Also known as the place where your dumps end up. The only thing I got out of the trip I took there was thinking to myself, “I better work hard in school, or else I’m gonna have to work at the dump conversion factory.”
Number Nine: Generally any field trips that didn’t involve running around sucked. And when you’re a 10 year old kid in Boston you’re basically on lockdown from
Mrs. Caplan. Even today I have to admit that I don’t get any enjoyment out of the
Freedom Trail. Granted it’s a cheap date, but all you really do is look at a church, a graveyard, a couple plaques in the ground, and the place where
Paul Revere took dumps. Cool.