Gospel PMV (Vent Warning, Blood and Such)

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• published: 12 Jun 2015
• views: 35926

EDIT: Thank you all so much for your love and understanding, i always think not a soul even sees my videos yet you guys always seem to pop up when I need you. I am still struggling jsut as hard am I am doing worse but I am starting to seek help from a therapist,and hopefully at least get diagnoised so I can get assistance when I need it without being questioned _______________________________________________________________ Well here is my emotional state for the past seven years for ya Funfunfun Also this was just throw together as a vent, the art isn't the best Like really though what does it feel like to not be absoulity terrified every day of your life I cry myself to sleep sometimes thinking about how happy I would be to be able to live one day without my anxiety and how sad it is that I might never get that chance ____________________________________________________ I literally....just if someone has a panic attack and flat out tells you how they did or are about to have a panic attack and are really sad and scared do not ignore them or change the subject or tell them to stop or cuss at all like saying something like fucking stop All they want to do is stop but you cannot just stop having a panic attack trying to stop on the spot half the time throws a panic attack into extreme mode NEVER SAY FUCKING STOP it makes that person feel like the whole world wants them to stop living they just told you like the most frustrating, depressing thing that happens in their life just fdsmkfnsdklfnsdkl do not ignore them or tell them to stop it or anything stupid like that Hug them and take them somewhere as private as possible maybe even rub their back or just keep telling them that you are there and that it is okay Wrap a blanket over them Do not avoid the subject with converstation rather with actions Do something like make funny faces, treat this like a child crying sometimes Do something you usually do not do to them that will surprise them and make them forget, like kiss them super quick on the lips/cheek/forehead or buy/give them a sweet drink like a pop or starbucks....give them starbucks please ultimate panic attack craving I crave sugary drinks when I am done with a panic attack, they are physically draining trust me The kissing things works I swear for me at least, your thoughts go to the kiss and not the panic attack and friendly kisses are nice and comforting WHEN PEOPLE HAVE PANIC ATTACKS When they have them....sometimes they actaully feel like they are going to be hurt or killed or they are making everyone mad or upset and they are just ruining everything They think everything bad that could ever happen is happening to tell someone to fucking stop is like pushing a paralyzed kid out of his wheelchair and telling him to get back in it chair and THEN telling him he is doing it too slow After people making fun of someone , bullying them for years tormenting them making sexual jokes about them and making them try to kill themselves And that person going years without a single friend to talk to THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A HARD TIME TALKING TO UNFAMILIAR PEOPLE AND SPEAKING IN PUBLIC THEY THINK EVERYONE IS GOING TO HURT THEM AND HATE THEM AND IT MAKES THEM WANT TO DIE Think how many times they have to suffer these attacks without someone around that they love and then when someone they love is there that person just flat out destroys them Think of those rare times when you are so upset you feel like you might just break down crying and you feel ill to your stomach and you cannot focus on anything except what upset you because that is what a panic attack feels like but with fear mixed in Literally I would never ignore you or tell you to stop crying in a mean way if you were like that so do NOT ignore someone or brush them off when they are soooo scared and they are forcing themselves to throw up and hating themselves so much and just want to talk to their friend They appreciate and cherish friends more than anything because they live in constant fear or being alone forever I just want friends my idea of a happy future is having a close friend or two or fifty I don't want money or love as much as I crave and desire friendship this is directed towards like fifteen people you know who you are shape up buttercups __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I am so upset about something that didn't even happen today rant over I have been upset about this for like a month because no one has ever helped me with a panic attack ever and it makes me hate myself and makes me think about if I were dead just needed to vennnttttt fdsnfsdjklnfsdjknfsd I am so afraid that within the next year I will be all alone Also I have not cut in a million years and barely did when I was into cutting So don't worry about me cutting myself I don't do that