Joe Dirt (2001)

Actors: Richard Riehle (actor), Hamilton Camp (actor), Kevin Nealon (actor), Rance Howard (actor), Joe Don Baker (actor), Adam Beach (actor), Dennis Miller (actor), Blake Clark (actor), Carson Daly (actor), Kid Rock (actor), Steven Brill (actor), John Farley (actor), Kevin P. Farley (actor), David Spade (actor), Steve Schirripa (actor),

Plot: Joe Dirt is a janitor with a mullet hairdo, acid-washed jeans and a dream to find the parents that he lost at the Grand Canyon when he was a belligerent, trailer park-raised eight-year-old. Now, blasting Van Halen in his jacked-up economy car, the irrepressibly optimistic Joe hits the road alone in search of his folks. As his wandering, misguided search takes him from one hilarious misadventure to another, Joe finds his way to Los Angeles, where a shock-jock brings Joe on his radio show to insult him. But as Joe's life story unfolds, jeers turn to cheers, and an entire captivated city tunes in to hear the adventures of Joe Dirt.

Keywords: acting-musician, alligator, amputee, balloon, beer, bio-hazard, blonde, boeing, burning-man, california
Genres: Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Mystery, Romance,
Taglines: Keep on Moppin' in the Free world. Trailer Trash - Wig Wearin' - Acid Wash - Jean Lovin' - Rock Concert - T-Shirt Sportin' - Hero He Came. He Cleaned. He Conquered His name's not mud... but it's close. Join The Porta-Party. Dig it. Life's a garden. Dig it. From the producing team that brought you DEUCE BIGALOW and BIG DADDY

Quotes:

Joe Dirt: Things are gonna happen for me, I'm Joe Dirt.

Joe Dirt: [talking to himself while brushing hair in the mirror] People like that security guard. They don't really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and what not. Alls I got to do is keep bein' a good person. No matter what, good things'll come my way. Everything's gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart. [toilet flushes and man walks out of stall. Joe looks down awkwardly] Right on. Things are gonna happen for me! I'm Joe Dirt!

Joe Dirt: Comin' to work. Joe Deertay.::KXLA Security Guard: Don't try and church it up son. Don't you mean Joe Dirt? Naming you that your father must've really hated you.::Joe Dirt: You're wrong brother.::KXLA Security Guard: I got a good name for this car, rusty.::Joe Dirt: Shit'll buff out.::KXLA Security Guard: Don't bother, just drive this piece of crap off a cliff. Do us all a favor.::Joe Dirt: Does this look like a piece of crap to you? Like them spinnin' tires do you?::KXLA Security Guard: You suck!::Joe Dirt: You do!

Joe Dirt: Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin' and it was grossin' everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don't mean to get all scientific with you...

Joe Dirt: Why don't you go practice fallin' down? I'll be there in a minute.::Railroad Boy #1: You wanna fight you little queer?::Joe Dirt: Queer? Is this queer? These queer?::[slapping muscles]::Joe Dirt: What's up? What's up?

Meteor Bert: Well, it ain't a meteor.::Joe Dirt: Yeah, it is. It came out of the sky.::Meteor Bert: Well I'm sure it did but it ain't no meteor. It's a big ol' frozen chunk o' shit.::Joe Dirt: What?::Meteor Bert: Oh yeah, see them airplanes they dump their toilets 36,000 feet. The stuff freezes and falls to earth. We call 'em Boeing bombs.::[chomps teeth]::Joe Dirt: No, that can't be. That's not what it is.::Meteor Bert: Oh, afraid so. See that peanut? Dead giveaway.::Joe Dirt: Uhhh, no, that's a space peanut.::Meteor Bert: No, afraid not. That just a big ol' frozen chunk of poopy.::Studio manager: Dude, you were eating off it!

Robby: [Robby's car sprays Joe with rocks] Oh, Dirt, did I getcha?::Joe Dirt: No, I'm cool.::Robby: No, you're not.

Joe Dirt: Hey man, you done with that apple core?::Zeke: [farts] I'm done with that fart. You want that?::Joe Dirt: Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton's ass I'd take a bite.::Zeke: Yeah, you probably like JR you queer. I saw your bumper sticker: Cowboy's Butts Drive Me Nuts!::Joe Dirt: Is that right? You think that's queer? Is this queer?::[slapping muscles]::Joe Dirt: They're large and in charge and lookin' for chickies.::Zeke: You wanna back that up?::Joe Dirt: You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air.::Zeke: That's it. You and me, let's go.::Joe Dirt: You know I'd love to beat your ass all up and down this place but I gotta go back to work.::Oil Rig Boss: Joe Dirt, your fired. Here's your week's pay.::Joe Dirt: Dang.

Joe Dirt: I got the poo on me!

Joe Dirt: [Facing mirror] She's your sister dude she's gotta be and you made out with her man! What's wrong with you, you pervert!::[turns away from mirror]::Joe Dirt: Well I didn't know she was my sister when I kissed her, so it's not my fault. And she's one of the hottest girls on the planet.::[turns back to mirror]::Joe Dirt: You just said your sister's hot! What a fuhreak! You're goin' to hell man!::[turns away from mirror]::Joe Dirt: I gotta tell her what happened, why I got weird. And for god sakes, I gotta treat her like a sister.::[next scene, you hear them having sex]

Don't Go Near the Park (1979)

Actors: Linnea Quigley (actress), Aldo Ray (actor), Barbara Bain (actress), Barbara Bain (actress), Barbara Bain (actress), Barbara Bain (actress), Kathryn Zatarga (miscellaneous crew), Lawrence David Foldes (writer), Lawrence David Foldes (director), Lawrence David Foldes (actor), Lawrence David Foldes (producer), Meeno Peluce (actor), David Ariniello (actor), Steven Lovy (actor), Dan Perry (editor),

Plot: In the prehistory of man, 12,000 years ago, two members of a superhuman tribe abuse the treasured secret of eternal youth. They use the methods of ritual cannibalism on the children of their own tribe and when discovered by the 'Queen' of the tribe, they are cursed to an eternity of old age with no chance to ever die. Now, in present day Los Angeles, their only hope to recapture eternal youth is the ritualistic sacrifice of a 16-year-old female virgin. Their existence is discovered by an investigative reporter and a young runaway child and this leads to an unexplained and terrifying confrontation.

Keywords: aging, amulet, anthropophagus, attempted-rape, baptism, birthday, birthday-party, blood, bloody-body-of-a-child, bowels
Genres: Horror,
Taglines: It's the last place you'll ever play! The entrance is the gateway to Hell! They were cursed to eternal life at the cost of their souls!

La polizia ha le mani legate (1975)

Actors: Jack Lemmon (actor), Ugo Bologna (actor), Stelvio Cipriani (composer), Arthur Kennedy (actor), Giovanni Cianfriglia (actor), Francesco D'Adda (actor), Franco Fabrizi (actor), Claudio Cassinelli (actor), Valeria D'Obici (actress), Angelo Curi (editor), Sergio Tardioli (actor), Guido Spadea (actor), Luciano Ercoli (director), Giuliana Rivera (actress), Gianfranco Galligarich (writer),

Genres: Crime,