I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way ... Ted Cruz came to New York Wednesday talking about education, but he’s the one who got schooled. Show them...

It's been a busy week for the Tennessee Legislature, which voted Monday to name the Holy Bible the state's "official book," so it can join the official gun (.50 cal Barrett sniper rifle,...

Hillary Clinton, because she has been warned by her media coaches (which she has because she is a phony) not to actually drink the blood of rival campaign managers while anyone is watching, replied...

Time for an update on one of the Ew Gross stories that happened in the Year Of Our Lord 2015. Quick recap: Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was indicted when it was revealed that he...

Earlier this week, we brought you a story of a minimum wage-related lawsuit. Then we brought you a story about Domino's Pizza. Because time is a flat circle, now we have a story about...

Dammit, Sarah Palin. Wonkette defended you. We said that in the great 2016 Twitterspace War between the Republican former governor of Alaska and rapper Azealia Banks that FORSOOTH, IT IS NOT COOL BRO to get on...

Remember that thing about how one of the main reasons Donald Trump is running for president is because Seth Meyers and Barry Bamz "I'll Dick You Down And You'll Like It" Obama made fun...

Oh hey, it's time for your Weekly Wonkette Dance Party where we shuffle our iTunes machine and post the first 10 random songs to come up and you tell us what YOU are listening...

Country music legend Merle Haggard died Wednesday on his 79th birthday, but did you know that it was once Very Controversial when he performed for Pat Nixon's birthday party at the White House on...

Ew. Ew. Ew! Why do we warm up food and then look at Twitter? So, that new "Daily Show" host Trevor Noah decided to do a happy nice time segment about how the one position...

You might think Hillary Clinton is a feminist, but you are wrong. This week, she said "the unborn person does not have constitutional rights," and said "person" instead of "fetus." Then she said you...

Longtime GOP dirty trickster Roger Stone (who really does have a tattoo of Nixon on his back) may have quit or been fired from the Donald Trump campaign last summer, but he's still serving...

Hey everybody! TLC did not cancel this new-ish Duggar show yet! However, they also haven't yet trotted Josh Duggar out to show him no doubt crestfallen yet renewed in his vows to love Jesus...

Welcome to episode seven million of our popular series, "Elizabeth Warren Gets Righteous On A Douchebag." The schmuck in the hot seat this time around is one Leonard Chanin, who during the George W....

A customer is outraged over something a restaurant employee did. Does that outrage reveal them to in fact be the asshole? (Hint: the answer to this question is always yes.) A Domino's customer in Texas...

Failed presidential candidate Scott Walker had a GREAT night in Wisconsin last night! First of all, his new BFF Ted Cruz won the Republican primary. But EVEN BETTER, remember how we told you...

Remember when Scott Baio was an asshole? No, the other time. No, the other other time. No, the other -- look, we're gonna be here all day at this rate. Point is, Scott Baio...

Oh, it is tough, so tough, and hard, so rock hard, when you are a pair of strapping, blond identical twins who spend your lives looking extremely homoerotic while trying to feebly fight the...

Donald Trump is making what sounds like new news to everyone with his exciting plan to pay for the Mexico Border Wall by seizing remittances sent by immigrants to their families in their home...

Oh what a night it was in the way Up Nort' state of Wisconsin! It was a night that the punditocrats all said Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders, currently both running second place in...