I recently noticed that when trying to sleep at night I find myself with my eyes wide open and my mind whirring, whilst at work I find my lids weighing heavy on my eyes, and my brain feels like someones poured custard into it. It’s like being really drunk, except that it’s really boring.

“YAAAWWWN… ah… what did I miss? Wait… what? We invaded who now???!!!”

I pull my chair in to pin my stomach to the table in an attempt to hold my body up and stop me from sliding down into the chair till my head is at a right angle to my torso. I try and stare really intensely at the screen, I shake my face around and try and joggle my mind into some action. But like a snow globe it all just settles again. Back to the mist and the murk. Back to the Custard.

Like this, but with much less open eyes.

So, why is this happening? Is it just a natural fact of long days at a desk? Or am I doing something wrong? Well, if I am doing something wrong, it seems at least that I’m not the only one:

People, it seems, are even more annoyed with being tired than they with being fat and cold. We don’t have a obesity epidemic (well, we do, but thats not the point) NOR do we have a a problem with heating poverty (again, we do, but that’s not what I’m trying to say) we have a tiredness epidemic. Everyone is tired, all the time. So why? Why? WHY?  WHY? WHY?   

WHY?????

Like, why dude?

Well maybe it is because the modern world is so all bad and that and stuff so we are all always rushing around and have weird sleep patterns and that and its all rubbish man like wtf?

“Man that is like, such a good point, its like, why all the rush man? Slow it down yo. Yeah, what do you think about it leaf child sarah?’

“Like, no more socks, you know?’

Hmmmm, interesting points unfair and insulting caricatures of well meaning people, maybe you’re right. For many city dwellers time is at a constant premium and jobs involve a lot of sitting around. This is a bad combination, to have a proper cycle of feeling awake and tired at the right times you need to have regular exercise and it helps if that exercise takes place throughout the day. When your life revolves around your desk you don’t really stand much of a chance to have a healthy balanced day especially if, like me, you get bored and feed that boredom with a diet of the four C’s: Chocolate, cake, crisps and coffee.

Fun fact: It doesn’t help.

Other fun facts: Here is how, apparently, you can feel less tired.

1. Eat your Breakfast! Apparently if you eat breakfast everything is fine. But if you don’t you will die.

2. Eat every three to four hours. This keeps your energy and moral levels high. Recommended foods are fruit, crystal meth and razor blades.

3. Fill up on more fibre! Specifically, fibre glass.

4. Fuel your brain with omega-3. But not omega-1, omega-1 is the street name for crystal meth and razor blades. So actually, yes to omega-1, down with omega-3, apparently it just makes old people senile, racist and conservative.

“There you go honey…” … “Damn looney left lizards with all their Chinese supermarkets!” 

5. Stay hydrated! You are 98,000% water but if you don’t drink regularly that drops to -1,000,000% water and you will die and suck all moisture out of those around you causing them to die and everyone to die and the human race to end forever leaving the cockroaches to rule. And they’ll probably instigate practical and effective common sense policies that will make us all look like idiots.

6. Watch caffeine intake after noon. Drink caffeine any time after noon and your sleep will be ruined. Unless your italian, apparently if your Italian you can drink it real proper late and stilla geta to sleepa mama mia!

1. /ˈstɛrɪə(ʊ)tʌɪp,ˈstɪərɪə(ʊ)-/ Noun. A widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.

2. a relief printing plate cast in a mould made from composed type or an original plate.

7. Suit up in a “power” outfit. Much like Iron Man, storm troopers and politicians, if you put on a fancy suit you can do things you never would have dreamt you could do! Like fly! Or dodge bullets! Or condemn children to poverty and death through welfare policy!

8. Put on more make up! Come on ladies, don’t walk around with a sad tired face, even if that is how you feel on the inside, remember: who you are and how you feel on the inside has absolutely no bearing on your value as a person. As ‘WebMd’ say: “it helps to look in the mirror and see an energising image… (it) will give you a big mental boost every time you catch sight of your reflection (or receive a compliment) throughout the day.”

“Because I’m Happy, Happy. HAPPY, HAPPY!“

From ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams, sub-title: ‘Lift Music for The Apocalypse of Man’

So there you go, now you can stay wide awake all day and productivity will be up 20% meaning you can better serve the master class to bring forth a fruitful harvest as the Gods demand. It is your responsibility to serve to repay your debt to those who hath given you the world. All praise the masters.

All praise the masters.

The Porsche 356 is probably a vintage car collector’s most prized possession. First built more than half a century ago their very few of them remain. Those that still own one know how much it can fetch in a classical car auction especially if the engine is still running. Due to this fact alone it is important to keep it in a good shape. You can start doing this by first tuning it.

What is Tuning?

Most people with little interest on cars probably do not know what engine tuning is. Engine tuning basically involves adjustment or modification of the internal combustion engine or the engine control unit. The aim of tuning is to increase performance of the engine, reduce fuel consumption and also to ensure it remains in a good functioning state for a long period of time.

What does tuning involve?

Tuning can involve any of the following:

Routine adjustment of the carburetor. This is meant to check on air-fuel mixture and the carburetor’s idle speed.
Complete overhaul of the entire engine system which involves removing the entire engine, tearing it apart and then cleaning and repairing all the individual components.
Tuning of the ignition system to bring it to a more modern performance. This involves what is known as ignition timing.
You can choose to tune your Porsche 356 in all the above ways or do only one of them depending on the condition of your car. For example it might be in great shape only requiring ignition tuning.

What do you need to do Ignition tuning?

To do ignition tuning you will require all or some of the following parts.

Distributor O-ring.
Plug Wires.
Distributor cap.
Spark Plugs.
Points.
A rotor and condenser.
Before buying this, consult a UK Porsche parts expert, like Tech 9,  to tell you which ones go well with the car. You can still get original ones from collectors but they tend to charge you a higher price. However, if you want to keep the car as original as possible the price should not concern you much. Tuning a vintage car such as the 356 requires experts in dansk Porsche parts, so make sure you get a consultation before starting any work.

How do I do the tuning?

Porsche 356 tuning is basically the same as you would do for any other car but you can follow the following easy steps.

Remove and check the condition of your spark plugs before replacing them so as to know more about your engine.
Second step is removing and replacing the distributor but make show you refit the nut well and its washer. Many people tend to forget the washer.
Fit in the rotor and make sure it’s the right one by comparing it to the old one.
Lastly you can now use the Timing kit to do static and dynamic timing.

A vodka ice Luge is an ice sculpture that is carved into various shapes with a drill or slope from the top and exits at the side of the sculpture. Shots of vodka or any other spirit is then poured into the drill and fetched by a glass or mouth at the exit point. As it turns out, the vodka Luge is becoming a must have accessory at any party as it is the best way for you and your friends to have fun at any event. You can choose your own unique centerpiece as they come in various styles and shapes to meet all your requirements.

Ice Luges stand out at any party (like this one!!) and they are usually the center of attraction as their uniqueness and sophisticated look are hard to miss the eye. No matter what event you are hosting; be it a birthday party, wedding reception, staff party or you and your friends are having a random party, the vodka Luge can be designed to fit any party theme. You can even go ahead and get your name, logo or any message engraved into the sculpture to add a personal touch to the whole event. This is probably the highest level of creativity you can demonstrate as you try to host a party that no one will forget.

All types of ice Luges are designed in such way that they will last for hours and remain in good condition throughout the party. If you are holding your event during the day when it is hot, the sculpture can last for up to six hours or more depending on the conditions. If you have your sculpture set up in the evening, you will definitely still have it there in good condition the next morning. This means you can relax and have fun without worrying about the ice, its condition and functionality.

When you place your order, the sculpture will be delivered to you at the time you specify and it will be set up in a few minutes. At a very low cost, you can get your custom made ice Luge and at a reasonable price you will have the party of your life. The vodka Luge is a great way to have everyone involved in a party by playing fun games. It can be boys versus girls, friends versus family, club versus club or any other combination you see fit depending on what kind of party you are having.

One of our most popular courses is the HVAC vocational course. Here are just a few reasons why:

As tuition fees at universities have shot up in the last few years, more and more people have begun looking toward vocational courses to further their education and secure a comfortable job. With practical training and guidance, all ages of people who want to improve themselves and their career prospects can succeed. HVAC is just one option and includes Heating, Ventilation and Air Conditioning.

In order to begin a career in HVAC, enrolment in a vocational school isn’t just important but legally necessary – licenses are required to operate on most electrical equipment. Depending on how you want your career to progress, you can choose from a number of different routes leading to certifications and degrees, but with a HVAC education you have the choice of later going into heating ventilation, air conditioning or heating and refrigeration.

We have regular guest speakers such as the highly experienced mechanics at Beatson Fans & Motors.

Heating and Refrigeration

This is the overall type of training which can lead to many different career paths, and qualifications can be anything from certificate programs to bachelor level degrees which can take up to four years of studying. The amount of extra work to dowill also depend on your long-term goal or the school itself.

There are certain areas of specialised study within this type, including learning about ventilation, refrigeration, heating and electronics as well as the more legal side such as building codes and air standards. It’s possible to go on from this to build a career performing installation or maintenance of refrigeration and heating systems, which can lead to jobs with plumbing companies, air conditioning repair shops, and heating contractors, among others.

Air Conditioning, Heating and Ventilation

Again, the quickest way into this kind of career is through a vocation or trade school, and usually including getting an associate or a bachelor’s degree, taking up two to four years. The coursework includes such subjects as electronics, blueprint analysis, installation and maintenance, and associated theories.

All of these subjects can feed into vocations such as air conditioning installation, repair and maintenance, industrial extractor fans repair as well as plumbing, electricals, duct installers and HVAC technicians. They will also cover at least the minimum of what you need to know about health and safety while on the job.

Vocational courses in practical subjects are a really smart way to go – people will always need someone to fix their air conditioner, or replace their ventilation system, so unlike some traditional highly-skilled jobs you are unlikely to ever be out of work. Plumbers and electricians also make a lot of money for their skills, and the market always needs more to keep up with demand, so often you can pick your own working hours and charge whatever you want (while being competitive, of course).

When you come out of a vocational course you won’t just have a highly skilled profession to go into but also no huge student loans weighing you down throughout your life, or lack of experience holding you back from the jobs you want to do.