Jen Lancaster

The Big Questions: Author Jen Lancaster on bucket lists, conservatism and (not) writing about sex

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• published: 22 Oct 2014
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Jen Lancaster has built a career on reinventing herself. In “Such a Pretty Fat,” she tackled weight loss. In “My Fair Lazy,” she sought high culture. In “The Tao of Martha,” she lived a life informed by Martha Stewart. In recent years, Lancaster has also reinvented herself as a novelist, most recently with the sibling rivalry of “Twisted Sisters” and time-traveling delirium of “Here I Go Again.” A Lake Forest transplant, Lancaster is also our guest editor for the Lake Forester this week, championing Habitat for Humanity as her charity. Below is an excerpt of our wide-ranging conversation, which included musings on regret, “Twilight,” her bucket list and why she’ll never write a sex scene. You can listen to the entire interview on our podcast “The Big Questions,” available on iTunes, SoundCloud and YouTube. Q: Two years ago, while writing “The Tao of Martha” you overcame your fear of Halloween, right? Lancaster: I had been terrified of Halloween my entire adult life. Loved it as a kid, but the minute I got out of college, there were little kids at my door demanding candy; which, No. 1, I couldn’t afford, and, No. 2, if I had candy, it would be mine. So, I started to avoid Halloween. So, part of the whole Martha Stewart thing is: Halloween is kind of her Super Bowl. So we had to recognize Halloween. I went all out. I did costumes. I decorated the house. I put glitter on pumpkins, which was the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my entire life. Q: Am I remembering this right? You called glitter the STD of the crafting world? Lancaster: It is the STD of the crafting world because it never, ever goes away. If you look at the floor still, there’s glitter here from two years ago. So I went all out and I bought — and this still makes me angry — I bought 200 full size candy bars, because I wanted to be the house that kids came to and remembered 30 years later saying, “Oh my God, that one place gave us full-size Snickers bars!” So I got all ready. I had everything set. I faced my fear of Halloween and my husband and I sat in the dining room and drank wine on Halloween night waiting for kids who never showed up. We didn’t get one trick-or-treater. Not one. Q: So how is this Halloween going to be different? Lancaster: Halloween, I’m not really going to do this year. I’m on deadline for another book. It’s called, “I Regret Nothing.” Q: It’s your bucket list book, right? Lancaster: Sure, it’s a bucket list book. And there were some things that I really wanted to accomplish. I wanted to learn to ride a bicycle. I hadn’t been on a bike since I was 12 and that seems just really shameful, that I’m this age and I didn’t know how to ride a bike. I learned to speak Italian, somewhat. Definitely enough to get around in Italy. My grandfather always used to swear at my grandmother in Italian. He would say, “La nonna è la prostituta del diavolo.” I always thought that was lovely, but he was saying, “Your grandmother is the whore of the devil.” That’s not nice. I didn’t know that for years. What else did I do? Oh, I wanted to recreate a playlist. I’ve been listening to the same stupid music since 1982 and if I hear “Take On Me” one more time, something bad is going to happen. I love everything about the ’80s and New Wave, but I realized I was stuck there. So I decided to discover this entirely new playlist. And what I landed on was really early ’90s Hip Hop. There is nothing in my life that relates to this struggle, but I love it so much. But I swear to you, I’m going to get arrested. Because every time I’m in the car with the top down, Easy E comes on in a school zone. I’m going to go on a list.