Guess how many times Republican presidential race front-runner Donald Trump said "Excuse me" at a recent Town Hall? “More. Nope, more. Keep guessing. More...”

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Jeet Heer writes that Trump will probably lose the election, but he's already changed a GOP that generally controls all other levels of government and is a bellwether for America's political future.

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Like many right-wing commentators, Sean Hannity likes to invoke conservative legends such as William Buckley. But he doesn't actually know much about them, as demonstrated by this exchange on Twitter:

Listen you shill.Stop disingenuously invoking William F. Buckley to defend Donald Trump, or I'll sock you in your g https://t.co/T0pvuPwlZC

— John Tabin (@johntabin) April 1, 2016

A threat asshole? https://t.co/J7nerCgDls

— Sean Hannity (@seanhannity) April 1, 2016

The "sock" line is, of course, Buckley's own. Here he is promising to plaster Gore Vidal after the latter mocked him as a "crypto-nazi":

"Now listen, you queer, stop calling me a crypto-nazi or I'll sock you in the goddamn face, and you'll stay plastered," said Buckley.

Hannity's a bit like Trump, in this respect: strangely, blithely ignorant of conservatism except as abstraction and ideal. Buckley, here, becomes a prop for Hannity's own dumb and joyless narcissism; far too boring to have ever been enjoyed alone.

Also, someone should introduce Hannity to punctuation.

Don't sign your tweets. https://t.co/tuAx47sbFH

— Big Sexy Jeb! Lund (@Mobute) April 1, 2016

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Ted Cruz, on Jimmy Kimmel's show:

But first, "Who do you like better, Obama or Trump?"

To which Cruz diplomatically answered, "Donald is a unique individual," before getting more graphic. "If I were in my car and getting ready to reverse and saw Donald in the backup camera, I'm not confident which pedal I would use."

Not bad, Ted! A quality guffaw from someone who isn't a natural comedian, but can deliver a good line.

Thing is, even a few months ago, the idea of presidential candidates yukking about killing one another would have been quite unthinkable. I've been saying since Christmas that when Trump is assassinated, it won't be a lefty or a liberal but a conservative who pulls the trigger. But it always seemed too on-the-nose to publish the thought. And now it's too late! Thanks to Ted, everyone's permitted to indulge their fears, prognostications and fantasies about the coming Roman Empire-like bloodbath of American politics. Sad! Read the rest

Once pro-choice, the leading Republican presidential candidate now thinks that women who terminate pregnancies should be punished. Donald Trump's going to ban it, but is not sure yet just what he's going to have done to women who disobey him. But he's thinking about it.

[Chris] Matthews then pressed him for a straight answer on what a ban on abortion would entail.

“Well, you go back to a position like they had where they would perhaps go to illegal places but we have to ban it,” Trump answered.

The former reality television star later added that “there has to be some form of punishment,” for women who get abortions after a ban is implemented, acknowledging the punishment would “have to be determined.”

He's unsure about how racist to be, but in no two minds at all about the women. Expect to hear a lot more sexist nastiness as the campaign goes on.

Update: He's changed his mind.

New @realDonaldTrump statement completely flips on earlier comments that women should be punished for abortions: pic.twitter.com/Mu1GBu2nzo

— Cameron Joseph (@cam_joseph) March 30, 2016

There's something amazing about how Trump just blurts out the right-wing positions he's discerned without realizing some of that stuff is supposed to stay implicit. He's like an AI chatbot who boils down his audience to its most vulgar principles, leaving that audience half-delighted and half-terrified at how completely exposed they are by his performance. Read the rest

With the release of more footage showing Donald Trump Campaign Manager Corey Lewandowski manhandling Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields, he's been charged with battery by Jupiter police. Lewandowski's lawyer turns out to be Kendall Coffey, a former U.S. Attorney who lost his job after biting a stripper.

Lewandowski’s lawyer: https://t.co/JAVQyl34Nx… resigned as US Atty after biting a stripper https://t.co/KPkxH9yrQE pic.twitter.com/ZkZsYKBitV

— Jamison Foser (@jamisonfoser) March 29, 2016

In a statement, Trump and Coffey deny everything.

Lewandowski was charged with simple battery, defined under Florida law as intentionally touching or striking a person against their will. For a first offense, it is a misdemeanor in the first degree, which carries a maximum sentence of one year in prison or a fine of $1,000. A court date was set for May 4, according to the police report. Jupiter police said Lewandowski turned himself in to police, and he was issued a notice requiring him to appear in court and then released. He was not booked into the jail.

What's been fascinating about this is how Fields merely wanted an apology for being bruised, but Trump, Lewandowski and even her own employer publicly insinuated she was lying…

@MichelleFields you are totally delusional. I never touched you. As a matter of fact, I have never even met you.

— Corey Lewandowski (@CLewandowski_) March 11, 2016

As a result, since then Trumpites have had to adjust their attacks on her to adapt to the emerging evidence against him. With each new angle, we've gone from "never touched her" to "didn't grab her" to "only lightly grabbed her" until all they're left with is admitting she was always telling the truth—but it's not like he beat her up or anything. Read the rest

This 'Trump Deep Nightmare' video is insane. Insanely accurate, that is. Don't watch while using psychedelic drugs, unless highly experienced.

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For Christianity Today, theologian Michael Horton explores the "theology" of Donald Trump and his followers. It reads as superficially civil, yet completely contemptuous and comically unprepared: a growing trend among conservative and Christian commentary on Trump.

Vague on doctrine, infiltrated by consumerism and a sentimental moralism intent on helping us all “become a better you,” and sort of interested in “family values” as long as they don’t interfere with our own family breakdowns, many cultural evangelicals are tired of losing the culture wars. They want a winner—“a strong leader.” I’m hardly the first to point out that it’s the stuff of which demagogues are made.

It is not that Trump has caused this transformation in portions of the so-called “evangelical electorate.” Rather, his candidacy has revealed the inner secularization of significant portions of the movement, which surveys have documented for some time now. Four theological words highlight the problem.

I made the digital paintover above in honor of the trash fire currently consuming evangelical political hearts.

In other Trumpery news, a Republican National Committee member today suggested that they're going to freeze Donald Trump out of the nomination irrespective of how many delegates he secures. Riots it will be, then. Read the rest

Nice country you got there, America. It'd be a shame if something bad happened to it. Noted soothsayer and shitbag Donald Trump can see into the future, and he promises 'riots' and other very 'bad things' if he doesn't end up being the GOP nominee for the 2016 U.S. Presidential elections.

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California Governor Jerry Brown signaled today that the people of California would not take a Trump Presidency lightly.

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Conservative organ The National Review published a scathing attack on poor white communities [paywall], part of its general disgust at Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump's support base. If you ever wanted to understand the enraged contempt in which conservatives hold the poor — especially now many of them are voting for Trump instead of them — here's a fabulous primer!

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Bassist Iggy Jackson-Cohen is a genius. HuffPo made the source supercut. Read the rest

On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood! And let me tell you it was really great. And I have a great relationship with the Moldavian people. They love me. Read the rest

Video reveals that a black protestor was sucker-punched by a man at a recent Donald Trump rally in Kentucky— and that the police then tackled the protestor, not the attacker.

Posted by the Washington Post, the footage shows several people leaving the rally after being identified as protestors. A ponytailed man approaches and punches one of them in the face. The victim stumbles onwards and is brought to the ground by uniformed guards identified by the Post as law enforcement.

“Chill, chill!” an onlooker says. “You don’t gotta grab him like that!”

Rakeem Jones, the man who was hit, said the punch came out of nowhere.

“Boom, he caught me,” Jones told The Washington Post in a telephone interview. “After I get it, before I could even gain my thoughts, I’m on the ground getting escorted out. Now I’m waking up this morning looking at the news and seeing me getting hit again.”… Jones blamed the Cumberland County officers escorting him from the rally for failing to protect him — then detaining him instead of the man who attacked him.

“It’s happening at all these rallies now and they’re letting it ride,” Jones said. “The police jumped on me like I was the one swinging.”

This isn't the first incident like this. If you choose to go to a Trump rally, be realistic about the risks.

1. Shouting anti-Trump slogans, working as media, or being with a protest group is enough to be identified as the enemy.

2. You might get assaulted, and Trump might encourage it. Read the rest

One of the funny things about Boing Boing is gaining access to the broken ansible in the lair's basement. Due to some as yet untheoretical relativistic cross-wiring, all it can access are random wikipedia articles from the distant future. We've been instructed in no uncertain terms never to use it, and the last editor to do so disappeared in a flash of late 1970s-era BBC special effects, presumably an extremely painful demise. This 24-bit PNG found on their laptop didn't make a lot of sense until lately; here it is for your topical interest. Read the rest

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I INSIST THAT YOU NOT."

Too late. You're pledged, pup! Read the rest

You've seen Johnny Depp tear off Donald Trump's face. Now learn how to put on your own. F-Comedy's Tess Paras is "really excited to make your face great again." Read the rest