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Mar 30

A Tale of Two Clocks

20 Comments »

"Hmmmm..... maybe I'm dump this one and upgrade to a redhead." Said the lady in green... mind... BLOWN!Click for full image

Frank Comments: “A Science Fiction Novel of Incredible Imagination”…about keeping comely victims fresh in your dungeon?
Published 1965

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Mar 11

Pavane

21 Comments »

You might be wondering... how do I put on make up?Click for full image

Noel Comments: Having not read the book, I have no idea what the hell is going on. If anyone could give me a head’s up, I’d appreciate it.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.57 out of 10)
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Mar 08

The Primal Urge

19 Comments »

The primal urge... Synchronised swimming?Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Scott B Comments: Synchronized swimming… IN SPACE!
Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.73 out of 10)
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Feb 16

Tom Swift and His Electric Retroscope

24 Comments »

You idiot. You fried the rest of the scout troop. Aim that thing before you turn it on.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: “Gee willikers, Joe, I see skeletons!”

“F#*% this noise, Tom!”
Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)
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Feb 05

The Robot Brains

23 Comments »

Robot Brains ... Monster Brains ... make up your damn mindClick for full image

Tom Noir Comments: It’s the hot new dance craze that’s sweeping the nation!

Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.73 out of 10)
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Feb 03

The Lurker at the Threshold

23 Comments »

That moment when you realising in a Lovecraft universe... your cat ain't coming back!Click for full image

Mark E’s Art Direction: You remember that nightmare I told you about after reading Lovecraft at 2am while drunk? Make it so art-monkey.
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.87 out of 10)
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Jan 20

It Happened in Boston?

26 Comments »

Nope, Chicago.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: They were an odd super hero team, but they kept the streets of Boston safe for a few months.
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.92 out of 10)
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Jan 18

The Planet Drabos

29 Comments »

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©!!!!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:
“Hey Sven!”
“Ya Lars?”
“Let’s put Darth Vader øn the cøver of this bøøk.”
“But Sven, we will get sued!”
“No we wøn’t, Lars, we’re Swedish!”
“Ha ha, yøu’re right!”
(Both together) “Børk! Børk Børk! Let’s gø have some meatballs.”
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.25 out of 10)
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Dec 18

Out of the Unknown

20 Comments »

No... I don't like this one it makes me look all hung...Click for full image

Perry Comments: Somehow, this cover gives the appearance of being both sleazy & profound, like Ingmar Bergman meets a 70s porno.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.38 out of 10)
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Dec 16

The Golden Slave

20 Comments »

Oh sorry were you whipping me? I fell asleep...Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: “Very well Mistress Raven, I want you to whip me gently until I am hit with my next great cover inspiration. Don’t spare the buttocks. And remember my safe words: poul anderson.”
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.21 out of 10)
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