Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

Actors: Marlon Wayans (actor), Tom Baker (actor), Bruce Payne (actor), Joel Silver (producer), Thora Birch (actress), Robert Miano (actor), Richard O'Brien (actor), Jeremy Irons (actor), Lee Arenberg (actor), Jirí Machácek (actor), Barbara Lane (costume designer), Laura Vergelli (miscellaneous crew), Susan Lambie (miscellaneous crew), Edward Jewesbury (actor), Steve Richards (producer),

Plot: The Empire of Izmer has long been a divided land. The Mages - an elite group of magic-users - rule whilst the lowly commoners are powerless. Izmer's young Empress, Savina, wants equality and prosperity for all, but the evil Mage Profion is plotting to depose her and establish his own rule. The Empress possesses a scepter which controls Izmer's Golden Dragons. To challenge her rule, Profion must have the scepter, and tricks the Council of Mages into believing Savina is unfit to hold it. Knowing that Profion will bring death and destruction to Izmer, Savina must find the legendary Rod of Savrille, a mythical rod that has the power to control Red Dragons, a species even mightier than the Gold. Enter two thieves, Ridley and Snails, who unwittingly become instrumental in Savina's search for the Rod. Joined by a feisty Dwarf named Elwood, and helped by the Empress's expert tracker, the Elf Norda, the young heroes go in search of the Rod of Savrille. From the deadly maze of the Thieves Guild at Antius to an Elven Village, secret grotto and abandoned castles, Ridley and his band must outwit Profion's chief henchman Damodar at every turn while, back in Izmer, Profion prepares to do battle with the Empress. All depends on the Rod, but the outcome of the race to reach it first is far from certain, and Izmar's very survival hangs in the balance.

Keywords: anti-hero, apple, army, bad-acting, bald, bar, bar-fight, based-on-game, battle, black-comic-relief
Genres: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi,
Taglines: This is no game. Adventure hinges on more than just a throw of the dice. Adventure will never be the same The game has just begun It's no game!

Quotes:

Snails: I got a new name for "dumb": "Ridley"! This is the Ridleyest thing I've ever heard!

[while scaling the towers of the magic school, to Ridley]::Snails: Why don't we just rob God while we up here.

Snails: I thought you said this was gonna be easy.::Ridley: No, I said it wasn't impossible.::Snails: See, that's the same thing you said when we robbed that little halfling's house.::[Ridley begins mouthing in time as Snails says;]::Snails: And who'd he catch? Me. And who'd he beat from the waist down? Me.::Ridley: Are you gonna jump?::Snails: You gonna catch me?::Ridley: I'm gonna catch you.::Snails: Promise?::Ridley: I promise. Now jump.::Snails: All right.::[There is a noise off to the side and Ridley turns around as Snails screams then falls to the ground]::Ridley: Sorry. I though I heard something.::Snails: You did. Me hitting the ground.

Snails: She must've put some kinda holding spell into that bracelet.::Ridley: Yeah, must be the only way she can get guys to come home with her.::Marina Pretensa: I'd have to put a feeble mind spell on myself to want to take *you* home.::Snails: That was funny.::Marina Pretensa: You're going to the city dungeon.::Snails: That wasn't.

Ridley: Yeah well, have you ever heard of honor amongst thieves? We might live outside the law but we respect each other.

[Ridley has just completed a deadly maze and retrieved the Eye of the Dragon]::Xilus: So, why don't you give me what's rightfully mine? Hmm?::Ridley: What about honor amongst thieves?::Xilus: [Xilus laughs] Oh, what a romantic notion. Do you honestly believe that I could've amassed the wealth that I have if I worried about honor? Ooh, no, no, no, no, no, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. So, pretty boy, if you don't want Hugo here to come rearrange your features for you, I suggest you just give it up.

Elwood: If I ain't drinking, you sure ain't shopping.

Ridley: We gotta save Marina.::Snails: Wait. What about the dwarf?::Ridley: You get the dwarf. I'll get the girl.::Snails: Wait, how come I always gotta get the dwarf?

Norda: How old are you?::Snails: Twenty-three. Yeah, I know I'm a little young for you, but what if I get my hands on an aging potion, huh? I'll sacrifice a couple of years for you.::Norda: I'm two hundred and thirty-four.

[to Damodar during a sword fight]::Ridley: Oh look, I've cut you. What a shame.