Knockout Of The Century, writes Sajid Khan

And before you think that this is a World Cup T20, India vs whoever kind-of-a column, boy are you in for a pleasant and rude shock! Pleasant, because at least today’s column is different from the air of cricket everywhere. Rude, because how dare I not write about cricket, especially when you are expecting it. Quite a Catch-22 kind of a situation, isn’t it? But honest to God, today’s column is about the real knockout of the century, the real one God vs Devil.

We are God-fearing people. I am assuming 99 per cent of planet Earth’s inhabitants are. But why do we have to say God-fearing people and not God loving people? We fear something when we may do something wrong. The fear of getting caught and punished or we fear something and not do something which may be morally or ethically wrong. That I guess is a fear of the judgment from the Almighty. Most of the times fear is driven by guilt. And guilt usually stems from the desirability of corruption. That they say is the handiwork of Satan just like the seven sins.

1. Greed: Really? In today’s day and age, being greedy is a sin? Jisko dekho naukri, paisa aur promotion ya power ke laalach main jee raha hai. Greed is clearly a virtue today. Ab aap soch rahe hain, Sajid Khan ne abhi abhi P.K. dekhi kya? To which, my jawaab to you is to ask yourself truly: Are you happy with what you have in your life? Are you satisfied? Do you not possess an ample quantity of greed in you? To have more money, to get a bigger, better house, a more luxurious car, to come first in your exams or simply to be promoted. So what happened to paer jitney utni hi chaddar phailao? Really? You want a chaddar? Or a double king-sized bed? Gotcha!

2. Sloth: For all those who missed out David Fincher’s 1995 psycho thriller Se7en, Sloth means being lazy. Now that is a sin! And in today’s hectic world, Sloth really doesn’t exist. Unless and until, it’s a government office.

3. Envy: Clearly, the most dangerous sin of all. But, prevalent 24*7 in Bollywood. Ek purani kahavat hai, it’s not important that my films are a hit. But it’s very important that samne waale ki films are flops. Why look far? Ever since she won Best Supporting Actress National Award for Bajirao Mastani, Tanvi Azmi has become everyone’s Envy Azmi.

4. Gluttony: Seven billion people on the planet. Four-and-a-half billion overweight, including yours truly. Zyada khana khana sin kab se ho gaya?

5. Wrath: Gussa... krodh... anger... temper! Now, this is one sin which we control most of the times, unless it’s peak hour in traffic. If you don’t believe me, ask Albert Pinto.

6. Pride: Pride isn’t bad. If your neighbour envies something about you, it’s your pride. This usually comes attached with achievements and achievements are always good. So you should be proud to have pride in yourself.

Unless it’s khud ka trumpet bajana. Going on and on, talking about one’s achievements with people having no option but to listen to you was a familiar territory I have dwelled on in the past. Hallejuah for Himmatwala and Humshakals. From Chambal, I became humble!

7. Lust: In Lust they trust! Is Lust a must? To lust is just? They say lust makes the world go round along with many other parts of the anatomy, I believe. I love you he says to her. Obviously, he cant tell her that he lusts her because that would get her offended. Because most men lust a woman first and eventually fall in love with her. Perhaps true in some cases of the other sex too. Psychological studies have proven that men between the ages of 16 to 55 think twice about sex per hour. For at least 30 mins each time. So I guess, love is over rated. But lust is adult-rated. Sorry Pahlaj Ji, main thoda jyada to nahin bol gaya? Ohh mistake became, sorry Shyam Ji.

To bhaiyya, clearly the 21st century has belonged to the Devil. Destruction, despair, wars, bloodshed, natural calamities, they have all been his handiwork. I guess that leaves God with just one ray of hope in our eyes…Faith.

So keep the faith. Because God doesn’t want you to fear him but want you to love him and have faith in him. The battle may have been won by the Devil, but eventually God will win the war.