JCVD (2008)

Actors: Jean-Claude Van Damme (producer), Patrick Quinet (producer), François Beukelaers (actor), Jani Thiltges (producer), Bernard Vander Donckt (miscellaneous crew), Claude Fenioux (miscellaneous crew), Jean-Claude Van Damme (actor), Arlette Zylberberg (producer), Zinedine Soualem (actor), Uli Simon (costume designer), Jean-François Wolff (actor), François Damiens (actor), Ghislaine Cauet-Martinotto (miscellaneous crew), Gast Waltzing (composer), Karim Belkhadra (actor),

Plot: Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! In JCVD, Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States.

Keywords: acronym-in-title, action-hero, actor, actor-name-in-title, actor-playing-himself, airport, arrest, bank-robbery, bare-chested-male, beating
Genres: Comedy, Crime, Drama,
Taglines: Be Aware The biggest fight of his life

Quotes:

J.C.V.D.: This movie is for me. There we are, you and me. Why did you do that? Or why did I do that? You made my dream come true. I asked for it. I promised you something in return and I haven't delivered yet. You win, I lose. Unless... the path you've set for me is full of hurdles where the answer comes before the question. Yeah I do that. Now I know why. It's the cure, from what I've seen here. It all makes sense. It makes sense to those who understand. So... America, poverty, stealing to eat... stalking producers, actors, 'movie stars', going to clubs hoping to see a star, with my pictures, karate magazines. It's all I had. I didn't speak English. But I did 20 years of karate. 'Cause before I wasn't like that::[points to flexed bicep]::J.C.V.D.: . This... this is me today. I used to be small and scrawny. And I took up karate. Hence the Dojo, hence respect, thou shall believe people who say, "Oss!" It's Samurai code. It's honour, no lies. So this guy in the US, it's not the same thing. No one says "Oss" to you. Sometimes people in show business say, "We're gonna' fuck em'". I believed in people, in the Dojo. I was blessed and had a lot of 'wives'. I always believed in love. It's hard for a woman with three kids to say, "Which one do I love more?" A mother... If you have 5, 6, 7, or 10 wives in a lifetime, they've all got something special, but no one cares about that in the so-called media. What about drugs? When you got it all, you travel the world. When you've been in all the hotels, you're the prima donna of the penthouse. And in all hotels the world over, traveling, you want something more. And because of a woman... well, because of love, I tried something and I got hooked. Van-Damme, the beast, the tiger in a cage, the "Bloodsport" man got hooked. I was wasted mentally and physically. To the point that I got out of it. I got out of it. But... it's all there. It's all there. It was really tough. I saw people worse off than me. I went from poor to rich and thought, why aren't we all like me, why all the privileges? I'm just a regular guy. It makes me sick to see people... who don't have what I've got. Knowing that they have qualities, too. Much more than I do! It's not my fault if I was cut out to be a star. I asked for it. I asked for it, really believed in it. When you're 13, you believe in your dream. Well it came true for me. But I still ask myself today what I've done on this Earth. Nothing! I've done nothing! And I might just die in this post office, hoping to start all over here in Belgium, in my country, where my roots are. Start all over with my parents and get my health back, pick up again. So I really hope... nobody's gonna' pull a trigger in this post office... It's so stupid to kill people. They're so beautiful! So, today, I pray to God. I truly believe it's not a movie. It's real life. Real life. I've seen so many things. I was born in Belgium, but I'm a citizen of the world. I've travelled a lot. It's hard for me to judge people and it's hard for them... not to judge me. Easier to blame me. Yeah, something like that.

Policier: Central to Unit 27. Jean-Claude Van Damme's robbing a post office. I need back-up.