This Is Not A Song Of Hope

But it sure makes me feel better.
   Celebrate the ugly things... cause all the beauty's fucking gone

SOMETIMES IT'S SIMPLE THINGS THAT MAKE IT HARD
SPOILED BABY T's WITH CREDIT CARDS
OVERTIME ALWAYS ON MY MIND
COULD HAVE BEENS EAT AWAY INSIDE NOW

PRAISE GOD AND PASS THE BOTTLE OF BEAM
BECAUSE TONIGHT I CAN'T SEEM TO SAY WHAT I MEAN
DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD, EVEN IF I COULD, AMEN

SOMEHOW THIS SEEMS LIKE BORROWED TIME
PAY IT NO MIND, EVERYTHING IS FINE
BUT SOMETIMES I'D RATHER HEAR LAUGHTER
WHILE THIS WHOLE PLACE DIED.

A JOHNNY JUMP-UP IS A LOVELY THING
A PINT OF CIDER AND SOME WHISKEY
I HAD FOUR DEAD INSIDE OF ME
JUST TO HEAR THIS JACKASS SING HIS LINE ABOUT
HOW HE USED TO HANG OUT SOMEWHERE "BACK IN THE DAY"
KNOWING TERMS ONLY AN ASSHOLE WOULD SAY
SO I SAT THERE DRINKING MORE

THINKING ABOUT DRINKING MORE

NELSON ALGREN CAME TO ME
AND SAID CELEBRATE THE UGLY THINGS
THE BEAT UP SIDE OF WHAT THEY CALL PRIDE
COULD BE THE MEASURE OF THESE DAYS

GOD SAVE OTIS REDDING BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S NEVER GONE
AS SICK FALLS FROM THIS MOUTH HEAR ME SING IT WRONG
IS IT "CIGARETTES AND COFFEE" NOW OR DREAMS TO BE REMEMBERED
I'LL LEAVE REGRETS FOR DEAD AND SING ALONG

SO I'M REACHING FOR THE PHONE, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE
I WANT TO GET SOME FRIENDS HERE TONIGHT
I GOT A BASEMENT FULL OF BOOZE AND SOME BLUES TO LOSE
I'LL IGNORE THE WHOLE WORLD TONIGHT
IT WILL BE ALRIGHT 

Toonage:
Dillinger Four - Doublewhiskeycokenoice

Buy Dillinger Four stuff here

J is for Jesus

 Had a fight with the missus. I claim that Lady Gaga is a derivative, unoriginal hack without a shred of credibility or musical worth. And that she exists only due to the short memory spans of the populace and an innate ability to rip off Madonna. And how, despite her new "hey being gay and different is cool" song is a nice sentiment, the very fact that she is allowed to pollute the status quo with her face, voice and assorted "fashionista" trends makes the "hoi polloi" that much lamer.

The wife disagrees.

Enough of the pop crap, it's Good Friday, so I am going to take a non-secular approach for a change and offer up some cool toonage that actually has got some of that spritual stuff in it.

Or something like that.

So, have at it.

Toonage:

Iggy Pop - Jesus Love's The Stooges
Dillinger Four - Mosh For Jesus
NOFX - Leaving Jesusland
The Birthday Party - Big Jesus Trashcan

The Life Of A Repo Man...

... Is Never Boring!



Toonage:
Iggy Pop - Repo Man
Bob Dylan - Everything Is Broken
Angry Samoans - Hot Cars
The Dirtbombs - Broke In Detroit
Dillinger Four -SELLTHEHOUSESELLTHECARSELLTHEKIDSFINDSOMEONEELSE FORGETITI'MNEVERCOMINGBACKFORGETIT

Broken Glass & Razor Wire

The dichotomy of a weekend. Went to see the Circle Jerks and Dillinger Four Saturday night. Two old (In the Circle Jerks case- really old) school punk bands. And then last nite, I was planning on seeing Phil Lesh and Friends.

The D4 are midwestern (Minneapolis to be exact) punk rock motherfuckers. Fat, old and kick ass. Perfect. The between songs snappy patter was great (as their lead singer stated "I'm fat and I'm 36, I need to rest") and the kids were moshing and diving. What a beautiful thing.

The Circle Jerks were very good, not great. Whaddya expect, they're in their 50's! But after a 23 year break from seeing em, it was wonderful. Lead singer Keith Morris has got long ass dreads and a nice bald spot. And he is quite the Alter Kocker at this point! Between songs, asking the crowd to not hurt anyone and to be careful. Oy vey!

The train ride home sorta sucked, since the train was packed full of drunken assholes who went to see this douchebag at Central Park. Yecch. But I was good, I did NOT get into a fight on the train.

And then yesterday I was gonna go see Phil Lesh And Friends at the Beach. I got all the way to the parking lot figuring I'd buy a ticket off some head, but it was such a nice day (and the amphitheater at Jones Beach sucks such huge balls) that I ended up hanging in the lot and listening from there. I ran into a couple who had tickets and, after hearing my reasons for not going in, decided to join me outside! And they HAD tickets! They even asked me if I wanted to have one for nothing and I decided against it.

Ah well, the setlist looked great, lots of old Dead tunes, but I just couldn't get my head into walking into such an oppressive venue.

Part of that decision was due to the early afternoon rehearsal for the reformation of my old Punk Band. Yep, we're gonna get together and play some shows and maybe even do a live DVD (this of course, according to our insane guitar player... we'll see!). And I was amazed how quickly the songs came back to me. The Rush tune was a little flaky, as I was trying to teach em the Overture to 2112! What's more Punk Rock than 2112? Um... I guess everything. But that's what makes it Punk Rock!

So after a nite of Punk and an afternoon of Punk, I was a little too full of three chords to sit in a seat and listen to long jams. Especially in a Nazi Police state.

So... old school Punk Rock wins over old school Dead. Again!

Toonage:

Circle Jerks - I Just Want Some Skank

Circle Jerks - Stars And Stripes

Dillinger Four - DoubleWhiskeyNoIce

Dillinger Four - How Many Punks

Dillinger Four - Let Them Eat Thomas Paine

Phil Lesh And Friends - Cold Rain And Snow (Live Warfield May 13 2008)

What A Fucking Asshole

First Hymietown. Now this.
Just shut the fuck up Jesse, you are not helping things.



Toonage:
Replacements - Shut Up (demo)
Angry Samoans - You Stupid Asshole
Dillinger Four - Shut Your Little Trap, Inc

Report From The Heartland

Just got back from Minnesota and I am tired, hungover and I sorta smell. But than again, I am usually tired, hungover and sort of smell. Everyone is soooo nice out there. Nothing like New York. But they do say "You Betcha" an awful lot! I didn't get a chance to get to The Triple Rock Social Club, the Dillinger Four's homebase. Bummer.

Driving 150 miles north of the Twin Cities, I was amazed by how many pro-life billboards are on the highways. I guess they take their Jesus pretty seriously in the hinterlands. Here's a car that I found myself parked next to.


The Metrodome (home of the Twins) is pretty cool. Indoor baseball is still an aesthetic monstrosity. The big sellers from the vendors were chocolate chip cookies and milk! Cheese curds and corn dogs seemed to be selling well outside too.
I, however, spent my hard earned cash on these. At 6 bucks for a 2o ouncer, it was the best deal around.

Here's a shot of one of the Nationals getting put on his ass from a hit by pitch. I bought a ticket outside for half price and moved around the stadium at will. This shot was when I was pretty much 2 rows off the field by home plate. There were 23,000 people at the game. The only non-whites I saw in the entire stadium were the players on the field.They call Minnesota the land of 10,000 lakes. 9,999 to go!

This is an elk farm. I did not ask if they were selling elk milk.

And here, is a celebration of our country's conspicuous consumption. The Mall Of America. My hotel turned out to be across the street, so I checked it out before I had to dash to the airport.
When you're in the heartland, I guess you get your corporate punk rock where ever you can. They were playing Radiohead inside. I asked if they had any Replacements or Husker Du or Dillinger Four . I don't think the clerk knew who I was talking about.They have a freakin' amusement park inside the mall. It actually looked like fun. More fun than buying shit, for sure.

Here's some toonage for the Dillinger Four. Because they kick ass.

Toonage:
Dillinger Four - Who Didn't Kill Bambi
Dillinger Four - Double Whiskey No Ice
Dillinger Four - Mosh For Jesus
Dillinger Four - Smells Like OK Soda

Thinking hard and long about Punk Rock (ie- youth) nostalgia of late. Things seemed simpler than. Us versus them. As easy as it is to walk into a Hot Topic these days and buy your image, there was a certain thrill to creating it on your own. Although having to watch your back at all times was no fun either.

Here's a fun game. How many (and what) songs and bands are referenced in the following NOFX tune?

Johnny has a problem
Johnny is out of control
He had a TV party
With the kids in the black hole
Stealing people's mail
And lynching the landlord
Things to do when angry, young and bored

Johnny was only a lad
Johnny hates the scene
First he hit an old man
Then he hit and run Pauline

The record player spinning the best times I never had
So why do my old records make me sad?
Cause they're so bad
And no one seems to understand
The glory of guitar
When out of tune
The off timing
The singers who can't sing
The beauty of flaw

He's a teenage vegetable
This is the last resort
He's got PCP in his veins
He lives inside a quart
Johnny is a punk rocker
Johnny is he queer?
Johnny needed two bags
And a car to commandeer
Johnny wasn't liked much
But he had a lot of friends
Waits on stage
Eating ludes
A mindless brainwashed pig
Johnny was a good man
Till the day that he got shot
He had a jacked up chevy
That could blow you off the spot
Johnny always needs
More than he takes
Forgets a couple chords
Forgets a couple breaks
Johnny says he's bound
By only six strings to this world
Johnny Quest hates sellout bands
And Johnny Punk snorts ritilin
And Johnny is an angry amputee
NOFX - "Jaw, Knee, Music"

Was it really better "back in the day"? It seemed to me, that shit was alot more dogmatic. Those CBGS's Sunday matinees were a perfect example. Everybody looked the same. I had long hair back than and although I knew plenty of skins, I could never be in their little club because I wasn't cutting my hair.

It was nice back when the biggest issue was arguing who was more Punk.

My enemies are all too familiar.

They're the ones who used to call me friend.

I'm coloring outside your guidelines.

I was passing out when you were passing our your rules.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Who's punk what's the score?
Jawbreaker - "Boxcar"

Look at me, I'm in the front lines
I just came to have some fun
I've never seen this band before
I'm not like them, I'm hardcore
Government Issue - "Asshole"

Not gonna glorify the past, it was the same

We felt like the fire couldn't be contained

And it was you and me against the world

But we were already eating out of their hands

Dillinger Four - "How Many Punks Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?"

Toonage:
NOFX - Jaw, Knee, Music
Jawbreaker - Boxcar

Dillinger Four -How Many Punks?

Government Issue - Asshole
The Hookers - Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight (Spinal Tap cover)

Exposed

In counterbalance to my last post; today I sat on a panel of industry leaders (I was the joker in the deck) at a conference and spoke of my business.

Here's some advice: It's probably not a good idea to use the term "corporate overlord" when speaking to a group of, well, corporate overlords.

All of my observations last week about being Mr. Executive Douchebag were blown out today I was exposed as a little twerp. I am pretty sure that the guy sitting next to me was wearing a suit that cost more than my car did. These guys were movers and shakers, and I was pretty much shaking the whole time.

It was an extremely long 90 minutes; and I noticed in the Q & A that no one was askin' me anything! Or coming up to me afterward. The moderater thanked me and told me I did a fine job. Yeah. Sure. At least I was more comfortable than this guy. Or this guy for that matter.

Musical offerings today are the last five songs that were on my MP3 player as I journeyed to the forum. My saving grace is that I am very confident that none of these songs are owned by my fellow panelists and I doubt they've ever even heard of the bands.

Fuck it. At least i got my punk rock.

Toonage:

Circle Jerks - Beverly Hills

The Cramps - Bikini Girls With Machine Guns

Dead Milkmen - Bitchin' Camaro

Dillinger Four - Bite The Curb, Bite The Curb

Ramones - Bonzo Goes To Bitburg

Happy Whiskey Ween!

I was all set to do a Halloween themed post. But I got invited to the New York Whisky Fest last nite. Holy crap. 200 whiskeys, bourbons, tequila's and other spirits. Some of the stuff was ridiculously rare. And some girls offering their wares (liquor that is!). I concentrated on the bourbons. An absurd amount of single barrel and "old enuff to be legal" (ie 18 year old aged) bourbons. I don't have that educated of a pallet for these types of libations, but it sure beats the $6 buck a quart garbage that I was raised on!
So, get yer pre- Day of The Dead fix somewhere else. The name of the game today is booze... and lots of it.


Toonage:
Dillinger Four - Double Whiskey Coke No Ice
Barrence Whitfield & The Saveages - Whiskey Wagon
The Doors - Whiskey, Mystics & Men
The Who - Whiskey Man
Minutemen - Jesus & Tequila
Kiss - Cold Gin (demo)