The Remington Model 870 is a pump-action shotgun manufactured by Remington Arms Company, LLC. It is widely used by the public for sport shooting, hunting, and self-defense. It is also commonly used by law enforcement and military organizations worldwide.
The Remington 870 was the fourth major design in a series of Remington pump shotguns. John Pedersen designed the fragile Remington Model 10 (and later the improved Remington Model 29). John Browning designed the Remington Model 17 (which was later adapted by Ithaca into the Ithaca 37), which served as the basis for the Remington 31. The Model 31 was well liked, but struggled for sales in the shadow of the Winchester Model 12. Remington sought to correct that in 1951 by introducing a modern, streamlined, rugged, reliable, and relatively inexpensive shotgun – the 870.
Sales of the 870 have been steady. They reached 2 million guns by 1973 (ten times the number of Model 31 shotguns it replaced). By 1996, spurred by sales of the basic "Express" models, which were added as a lower-cost alternative to the original Wingmaster line, sales topped seven million guns. On April 13, 2009, the ten millionth Model 870 was produced; the 870 holds the record for best-selling shotgun in history.
once their was this kid who
took a trip to singapore
and brought along his spray painting
when, he finally came back
he had, cane marks all over his bottom.
he said that it was from
when the warden whacked it sooo hard.
mmmmmmm
mmmmmmm
once their was this girl who
swore that one day she would be a figure-skating champion
and when, she finally made it
she saw, some other girl who was better
and so she hired some guy
to club her in the kneecaps.
mmmmmmm
mmmmmmm
they got paid for their soundbites
and sold their tv movie rights
and then their was this guy who
made his wife so mad one night
that she cut off his wiener
and when he finally came to
he found
that mr happy was missing
he could't quite explain it
it had always just been their
mmmmmmm
mmmmmmm
ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhhh
ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhhh
(music goes on for about a minute then fades out)