Fresh New Video, Every Week - FREE SUBSCRIPTION - Join Me Show Your Friends - SHARE THIS VIDEO ON YOUR BLOG or FACEBOOK Discover More - VISIT MY WEBSITE - CLICK THIS LINK: http://www.LisaMohr.com So over the years I've worked with many, many clients and coaching on how to survive the holidays. As much as we'd like the holidays to be a wonderful time a year, unfortunately, they're loaded with pressure and stress and family obligations and financial obligations. A lot of the people have shared with me that the spirituality isn't there for them, so it just becomes an obligatory, uncomfortable season where people are forced to pretend that everything is okay and spend a lot of money on other people and then hold their breath and go into a family environment where perhaps they are not their best selves. I would like to give you some insight and ideas and maybe just some tools on how to have a plan. I hate to say surviving the holidays because that sounds like you're a victim and you need help. The truth is all you need is a plan and you need to feel empowered and feel in control of the situation, and then you won't have the stress with it. Some of the things that I suggest are, first of all, take care of yourself. Before you go to the event, go for a walk. Go for a brisk walk. Get your endorphins up. Maybe you go tanning. Take a hot bath with Epsom salts. Get yourself centered. Listen to fantastic music; music that's going to put you in a really good mood. Make sure that you have a plan. When you go to the holidays, if there's a certain person that gives you anxiety, have a plan, have an out. If they approach you and say, "So have you gotten a job yet?" Say, "You know what, I'm in a great mood right now and let's table that and talk about it later," or say something like that. Another suggestion I have for people is have an out. When you're at the holidays, Thanksgiving, say, "I got to get out of here by 8:00." "Why?" "I have something I need to do at 8:00." "What do you need to do?" "I can't talk about it, but I love you and I got to go." So have an out. Have something like that in mind. Another thing; this is so obvious and people forget. There are off-limit topics and there are topics that are okay, and something about family. I want everybody to understand this is that compliments from a family member goes right over our head but anything that even sounds remotely critical is like a dagger right to our hearts, right? Try to give your family member the benefit of the doubt. They don't mean to be a jerk. They don't mean to be controlling. They don't mean to be obsessive. They're just curious and they're worried and their way of worrying somehow comes up unempowering like you can't take care of yourself or I need to advise you because you don't have a handle on it. If you come right out of the gates and say, "You know what, I'm feeling great. I've got some prospects on the horizon and let's dig in to this turkey." "What prospects?" "I don't want to talk about it right now. Let's just enjoy this meal." See, you have to set boundaries and you have to be willing to set boundaries repeatedly with family members who are a little persistent. Another thing that I suggest, rules; no politics, no religion, no money. There are certain topics that are just not okay. Families where there's drinking, you might want to say, "I'm not comfortable around the drinking. It seems like we only have problems when we open the bottle. So let's either not open the bottle and see how it goes or just limit it to one drink." If people want to start drinking, "You know what, it's time for me to go," and that's okay to say. Are they going to stop loving you because you set a boundary? No. Might they be a little irritated ? Yes. Is it going to be a huge wakeup call that maybe their behavior needs correcting? Probably, but you didn't have to say that. You just said, "You know what, I think I'm tired and I'm going to take off." Another thing that I suggest is plan an activity. Board games, fantastic; structured activities, wonderful. Go to a movie. Our family for years would go to a movie on Thanksgiving Day. It was really, really fun. There was never anybody there so we eat and then we'd go to a movie and every laugh was a really great feeling. We decide on a happy feel good movie. Those are just some suggestions that will make you feel empowered so that you can rock the holidays.

• published: 04 Nov 2013
• views: 2448