"Touch Me I'm Sick" is a song by the American alternative rock band Mudhoney. It was recorded in March 1988 at Seattle's Reciprocal Recording studio with producer Jack Endino. "Touch Me I'm Sick" was released as Mudhoney's debut single by independent record label Sub Pop on August 1, 1988. The song's lyrics, which feature dark humor, are a sarcastic take on issues such as disease and violent sex.

When it was first released, "Touch Me I'm Sick" was a hit on the indie circuit, and is still the band's most recognizable song. The heavily distorted and fuzzy guitars, snarling vocals, blunt bass line and energetic drumming contributed to a dirty sound that influenced many local musicians, and helped develop the nascent Seattle grunge scene. According to Allmusic, "the song's raw, primal energy made it an instant anthem which still stands as one of [grunge's] all-time classics".

According to Mudhoney vocalist Mark Arm, "Touch Me I'm Sick" originated from a discussion with Sub Pop owner Bruce Pavitt, "[Pavitt] said: 'Hey, you sing about dogs. You sing about being sick. You got a shtick, it'll take you to the top.' And he basically gave us five chords, but he said don't use more than three within one song." Arm also states that "Touch Me I'm Sick" was a catchphrase around which the band built a song.