John Kasich, who wants to roll back abortion rights and would probably be very rude about it, was very unhappy with the confetti situation at his non-victory speech in New Hampshire last month. So his staff bought all the confetti in Ohio for his (first and only) primary victory speech.

A reporter for Politico, Ben Schreckinger, was denied entry to Donald Trump’s Tuesday night press conference at Mar-a-Lago, despite previously having been granted credentials. Earlier in the day, Schreckinger reported that Trump staffers had tried to get campaign manager Corey Lewandowski fired.

Former candidate for President and current sad man Jeb Bush doesn’t have to be sad tonight. Because even though his mother may always love George just a little bit more, Jeb still somehow managed to pull in two percent of Florida voters. Truly a great night for Jeb.

Donald Trump just ended his mercifully short victory speech, the majority of which consisted of Trumpisms we’ve already heard a million times before—except for one. Now (in addition to Muslims and walls and his smokin’ hot daughter), Donald Trump would like to talk to you about physics.

Anita Alvarez—the State’s Attorney for Cook County, Illinois who has grown nationally famous for her reluctance to charge 68 police officers involved in fatal shootings—has lost her race to keep her job tonight to Kim Foxx, an opponent from Cabrini Green whose express goal was to “bring back integrity to our criminal…

Tuesday was a good night for the Trump family. Donald won the Florida Republican primary. And his brother Robert had tickets to tonight’s Billy Joel show at Madison Square Garden.

According to exit polls conducted by the Associated Press and Edison Research, about two-thirds of Republican primary voters on Tuesday support Donald Trump’s proposal to temporarily ban Muslim tourists and immigrants from entering the United States.

A big night for Donald Trump, who just won both the Illinois and North Carolina Republican primaries.

Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough has a helpful little message for former Secretary of State and current presidential candidate Hillary Clinton: Smile, babe!

John Kasich just took Ohio—his first and only state win so far. And fortunately for him, Ohio also just so happens to be a winner-take-all state. It’s just too bad it’s nearly impossible for him to win at this point.

The Associated Press and NBC News are projecting Hillary Clinton to win Ohio.

After getting soundly trounced by Trump in his home state, Marco Rubio finally took his campaign out back and put it out of his misery. Which means he should be endorsing Donald Trump by—oh, let’s say Friday.

Hillary Clinton is projected to win the Florida Democratic primary, according to the New York Times. Meanwhile, NBC News has called North Carolina for Clinton.

With over half of the state reporting, networks are officially calling Florida for Donald Trump. And Rubio didn’t just lose in his home state—he lost by a lot.

The New York Times has quietly (and extensively) revised a history of Senator Bernie Sanders’ legislative accomplishments, initially published on Monday morning under the glowing headline, “Bernie Sanders Scored Victories for Years via Legislative Side Door,” which eventually became the far more reserved “Via…

On Tuesday, Belgian and French police stormed a house in Brussels while after being fired upon while investigating a link to the November attacks in Paris. According to the Associated Press, they killed one suspect, who was armed with a Kalashnikov assault rifle.

Breitbart, a.k.a. Donald Trump’s Xanga, recently saw an exodus of staffers, after the publication refused to defend Michelle Fields’ report that Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski grabbed and pulled her to the ground. Staffers resigned, calling the publication “Trump’s Pravda,” and an “unaffiliated media super…

The Washington D.C. Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA) announced today it will shut down the District’s metro system tomorrow due to an “emergency investigation.” But everything will be just fine for commuters tonight, probably.

Ryan Collins of Pennsylvania will plead guilty to violating the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act as part of the celebrity iCloud breach known as “The Fappening” or “Celebgate” by the brave men of Reddit and 4chan who masturbated throughout. He faces up to five years in prison.