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@Mobute is blocked
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Pinned Tweet
A boner's not just meat. It's raised by thoughts & creates others who raise their own. It's a conduit—it's spiritualpic.twitter.com/64jtMNKaVY
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@Mobute happy anniversary to your boner tweet! -
nice nerd reference, nerd patrol. go hand out a nerd ticket in front of a mirrorhttps://twitter.com/EoinHiggins_/status/732708389147582464 …
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go do math about it, nerd. go bring your french horn to the movie theaterhttps://twitter.com/elongreen/status/732698900411342848 …
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@Mobute buddy, wait until you hear what word it's the opposite of -
this is some kind of misprint. it says we have a warrant for your ass
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@libbycwatson@Mobute "You'll be in room number...69. Nice" "Excuse me?" "Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm trying to remove it" -
Butcher just called out for customer #69 and I just reflexively said “nice” out loud. I need to… uh, not… be this person.
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turbinado sugar more like turbonerdo sugar
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hey hollywood, how about a crossover people wanna see next time? two words: dog whirlwind
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tonight, on an all new Blue Bloods cop dad: *smearing papercut finger on paper* ahhhh it's fucked up it looks like i'm using a regular pen
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@GregAbbott_TX thank u for continuing Texases long tradition of extreme hospitalty towards JFK -
Congratulations to
@Mobute on being named new manager of the Atlanta Braves! -
i bet if you could make donald trump's soul into something physical, it would be like you puking up mu shu pork
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I don't have Trump, man, I'm a sovereign citizen. I seceded. The Federal government is controlled by CPS workers.https://twitter.com/brettk351/status/732455587313680386 …
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i just saw a three-minute trailer for THE LAST SHIP and holy shit it is so fucking crazy that people decided to make that show exist
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hey, whoa, according to the dictionary "congress" ALSO means fucking? is anyone else seeing this???
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In reply to Marco Rubio
RT
@marcorubio: MASH finale, a reminder that Korea was funny, touching, heartfelt, and a great place to meet friends. Thanks, Larry Belgar. -
#MadMen finale - a reminder 20th Century was great, but it's over & it isn't coming back. It's time for New American Century.#TheEndOfAnEra -
this is what it said. horse ebooks ass shitpic.twitter.com/OgIbxN7ZtA
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After a crushing loss like this, the only thing that makes me feel better is watching Netflix original series Bloodline.
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maybe the Golden State owners should get out there and disrupt something again
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It's taken me some time to compose my thoughts about that overtime Penguins win, but this should cover it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDGlN6mluGA …
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as a florida resident i am ready to replace marco rubio with senator marco ruby rhod
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You knew he was going to try to woo Clinton's base eventually.https://twitter.com/bpolitics/status/732373512229408768 …
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charon hears ya, lady, charon just pushes the boat, charon don't carepic.twitter.com/MoMs7ZWJum
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PSA IDEA: GF: *from passenger seat* I love you BF: *drives drunk into car, flies seatbeltless thru windshield, takes up smoking mid-flight*
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Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink Barkeep: try this, its lemonade and iced tea Arnold Palmer: Mmm... its good... I just invented it.
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This looks like something
@Mobute would create to make fun of the people who actually did make it.https://twitter.com/turningpointusa/status/729093522645655552 …
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detective Derek Pudendum saw the line of clients outside the door to his office and knew immediately it was going to be another long humpday
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HACK BY SERBIA FUCK TO USA fﾆヽ |_|| |= | |_ | /⌒|~ |⌒i-、 /| | | | ｜ ｜( ( ( ( ｜ ｜ ｜ ＼ / ＼
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i really really hope they come up with a way better option than the bedpan innnnnn *looks at watch* the next 25 years or so
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@Mobute We watched a rap video for the vo-tech school: "long as the world is living & breathing, we're always gonna need plumbing & heating" -
imagine updating this for 2016 "fam, there are a lotta ways to be bae but the best is...class attendance *roger daltrey screaming YAAAASSSS*
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i'm still so happy we live in a world where people made this to keep kids in schoolhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkayCY5paMM …
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*me, offscreen* so that's why they call it getting high *smash cut to me in hot air balloon* kids, stay in school
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Congrats to
@Mobute on undergoing multiple failed penis transplant attempts in order to pave the way for the first successful one. -
my nation of origin, dead name and streetball name is Trans-Jordan
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on a surprise new "numb3rs": numbers: i know, what if we tried to solve this using numbers numbers' dad: here we go again with this asshole
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r: i say strawberry shortcake is better than charmkins n: bitch, fuck youpic.twitter.com/LNXX1Yq1WL
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I apologize to every lefty I ever laughed at for saying “racist dog whistle.” They’re real. They’re used. And they’re gross.
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if they wanted to be cool, they'd have had doctor crusher have a holodeck program where she just keeps winning slam dunk contests
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when you get preemptively blocked by a dude larping as james burke in connectionspic.twitter.com/4tHm4BPoW1
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why wouldn't u just use a phonehttps://twitter.com/Drunk_Canuck/status/732041516512776192 …
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THE GOOD BOKK... DISOBEY AND YOU GET WHATS COMMIN TO YA! http://facebook.com/dasharez0ne pic.twitter.com/XLyiYIQKM1
Big Sexy Jeb! Lund
screaming skunk baby
Dan O'Sullivan
Oleg Burov
da share z0ne
PFTCommenter
ChrisDallasTX
Marco Rubio
jon hendren
Mike Mariano
Mike F
Mike Riggs
Ian Cohen
Erik F Helin
j.r. hennessy
Ben Howe
Olivia Nuzzi
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