South Park

South Park is an animated series featuring four foul-mouthed 4th graders, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman. The show is set in the Colorado town of South Park where weird things keep happening, whether its being abducted by aliens or avoiding Kyle's little brother Ike. The show is based on the short film by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, "The Spirit of Christmas".

Cast

• Trey Parker
• Matt Stone
• Isaac Hayes
• Mona Marshall

• Season 1
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
  Cartman: How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Weight Gain 4000
  Jimbo: Uh-oh.::Chef: You know, Kathie Lee, you are a very special woman. I don't mean special in a M...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Volcano
  Jimbo: Look, It's Scuzzlebutt.::Cartman: What, Scuzzlebutt's REAL?::Patrick Duffy: Hello kids, I'm T...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
  Richard Stamos: [singing] Loving you is easy when you're beautiful. Do, do, do, do, do... [Off key] ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
  [Watching an elephant have sex with a pig]::Chef: Now I know how all those white women must have fel...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Death
  Grandpa: What has America's youth come to? Kids won't even kill their own grandparents....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Pinkeye
  Cartman: I just want to say: I love you guys, I do... except you Kyle....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Starvin' Marvin
  Stan: [on the phone] Hello? Is this Sally Struthers?... Oh.::Kyle: What did she say?::Stan: Shut up,...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
  Mr. Hankey: Not real, eh? If I wasn't real, could I sing this merry little song?::[singing]::Mr. Han...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Damien
  Pip: Oh Eric, I didn't get an invitation.::Eric Cartman: Hmm, what could I have done with Pip's invi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Tom's Rhinoplasty
  Cartman: Well, I've been lickin' this carpet for 3 whole hours and I don't feel like a lesbian....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Mecha-Streisand
  Barbra Streisand: You know who I am, don't you?::Officer Barbrady: Well, you ain't Fiona Apple, and ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut
  Chief Runningwater: You mother is what we Native Americans refer to as "Bear With WIDE Canyon".::Eri...
• Play in Full Screen Episode : Unaired Pilot
  Eric Cartman: [singing] Stan wants to kiss Wendy Testaburger!...
• Season 2
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus
  Phillip: Look at their silly American heads.::Terrance: They look like groundhogs....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut
  Mayor McDaniels: Officer Barbrady, pretend for just a minute that we had a competent law officer in ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Chickenlover
  Mr. Garrison: Yes Officer Barbrady?::Officer Barbrady: I need to go poopies.::Mr. Garrison: Officer ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Ike's Wee Wee
  Jimbo: [Mackey's dressed like a hippie] Why don't you go to a Grateful Dead concert?::Mr. Mackey: I ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Conjoined Fetus Lady
  [the South Park team is bombarded with Chinese dodgeballs]::Stan Marsh: Oh my god, they killed Kenny...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka
  Eric Cartman: [dressed as an old woman] Why do I have to play the old lady?::Kyle Broflovski: Becaus...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: City on the Edge of Forever
  Eric Cartman: Mom, I just had the weirdest dream. I was dreaming that Stan and Kyle and Kenny and I ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Summer Sucks
  Stan Marsh: How are your swimming lessons going Cartman?::Eric Cartman: Fine.::Kyle Broflovski: I he...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls
  Cartman: I've learned something too: selling out is sweet because when you sell out, you get to make...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Chickenpox
  Mr. McCormick: [explaining to Kyle why he isn't as successful as Kyle's father] And do you know why?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods
  Cartman: [singing] I love Cheesy Poofs / We love Cheesy Poofs / If we all didn't love Cheesy Poofs /...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Clubhouses
  Bebe Stevens: Stan, truth or dare?::Stan Marsh: Dare.::Bebe Stevens: [Wendy and Bebe whisper to each...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Cow Days
  The Running of the Cows is remotely based on the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, but its mo...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Chef Aid
  Ozzy Osbourne: [Ozzy Osbourne is describing how he became famous] Many years ago, I was the lead man...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Spookyfish
  Stan: [Cartman walks in with a beard while Kenny is carving a squash with a huge butcher knife and S...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!
  Grandma: I thought that shirt would look really good on you.::Cartman: Are you telling me I drove ni...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: Gnomes
  Mrs. Tweek: Oh hello, son. How was your day?::Tweek: DAAAAGH.::Mrs. Tweek: That's good....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: Prehistoric Ice Man
  Steve Irwin: That's the most poisonous snake in this entire region! So what I'm gonna do, is sneak u...
• Season 3
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Rainforest Shmainforest
  [driving through San Jose, Costa Rica]::Eric Cartman: Oh my God, it smells like ass out here.::Miss ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Spontaneous Combustion
  [episode running gag]::Mayor: Marsh, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you! Find the cause of spontane...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: The Succubus
  Stan: [sees Cartman has bandages on his eyes] Cartman, what the hell are you doing?::Eric Cartman: [...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Jakovasaurs
  Alphonse Mephisto: I've managed to artificially inseminate Hope with your semen.::Jakov: I have seam...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Tweek vs. Craig
  Mr. Adler: [decides to commit suicide, he lays on a saw belt, feet first] It'll all be over soon. [s...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Sexual Harassment Panda
  Sexual Harassment Panda: That makes me a saaaaaaaaad panda....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Cat Orgy
  Voiceover: And now back to Wild Animal World. Here in the more erit regions of Africa, the Gold Coat...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub
  Until this episode, Butters was called Swanson and never spoke....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Jewbilee
  The "Moses" energy cone is a reference to/spoof of the MCP energy cone from _Tron (1982)_....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery
  Jonathan Davis: Well, that does it! Something funny is going on here! Your missing Grandma must be c...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Chinpokomon
  Gerald Brofloski: You see son, fads come and go. And this "Chinpokomon" is nothing more than a fad. ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Hooked on Monkey Fonics
  Mayor McDaniels: [at the spelling bee] All right, Mark, your word is "conscientious."::Cartman: [to ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Starvin' Marvin in Space
  Starvin' Marvin, the young Ethiopian boy who was delivered to South Park by mistake two years earlie...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: The Red Badge of Gayness
  Stan: You can't just show up to a Civil War re-enactment dressed up like General Lee, fatass.::Cartm...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
  Mr. Hankey: We're just gonna sit back and enjoy some holiday songs! And if you don't like it, well, ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus
  God: [to Stan] You will hit puberty, but you will never have a period, because you are a boy...::[pa...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: World Wide Recorder Concert
  [the class is playing their recorders out of tune]::Mr. Mackey: Mmkay, that's sounding great kids.::...
• Season 4
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: The Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000
  Kyle: I've learned something today. You see, the basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of i...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000
  Eric Cartman: [having been found guilty of a hate crime, knocks on Kenny's door, panicked] Kenny! Ke...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Timmy 2000
  MTV announcer: You're watching MTV, the cool brainwashing 12-year-old-and-younger station that hides...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Quintuplets 2000
  Grandpa Marvin Marsh: We gotta get the Frenchy-poo fag-nasties outta you....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Cartman Joins NAMBLA
  Mr. Eduardo (Member of NAMBLA): All these men wanted was love from a young boy. There is nothing wro...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Cherokee Hair Tampons
  Stan: All right. Will you donate one of your kidneys to Kyle?::Cartman: [singing] No no no no no, no...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Chef Goes Nanners
  KKK leader: Good meeting brothers! Now, let's all go take a hot shower.::KKK members: [chanting] Hot...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Something You Can Do with Your Finger
  Wendy: [singing] Mrs. Landers was a health nut, she cooked food in a wok / Mr. Harris was her boyfri...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?
  [Cartman's favorite "psalm"]::Cartman: It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Probably
  Cartman: Kenny said in hell people speak Spanish and the water there gives you diarrhea....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: 4th Grade
  Mr. Garrison: Alright, let's try it again.::Mrs. Choksondik: "Children, we are now going to do math ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Trapper Keeper
  [last lines]::Stan: Whoa, wait a minute! Kyle saved your life. I think you at least owe him a thank-...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Helen Keller! The Musical
  Geoffrey Maynard: [singing in a tremendously over the top fashion] I cannot hear what they are sayin...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Pip
  Malcolm McDowell: Hello. I'm a British Person....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Fat Camp
  Man #1: Hello, camper! My name is Rick! How're you doing?::Cartman: [shouts] Well, I'm pissed off, R...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: The Wacky Molestation Adventure
  Kyle: Well, are there any chores I can do?::Mrs. Broflovski: Sure, Kyle. You can go to the concert a...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: A Very Crappy Christmas
  Miss Diane Choksondik: We got so caught up in the little things of Christmas, like Love and Family, ...
• Season 5
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: It Hits the Fan
  Airline Captain: [aircraft's PA clicks on] Hello, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speakin...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Cripple Fight
  Cartman: CRIPPLE FIGHT!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Super Best Friends
  Jesus: Come in, Moses!::Moses: What?::Jesus: We need to know how to kill a giant stone Abraham Linco...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Scott Tenorman Must Die
  Cartman: [inspecting Scott Tenorman's chili dish] Huh, this chili looks pretty good. Weh, here's min...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow
  Eric Cartman: Look, if you don't come and do the show, I'll make you eat your parents.::Phillip: Yeh...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Cartmanland
  Kyle Broflovski: What the hell are you doing, fatass?::Eric Cartman: Not much, just taking my *one m...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Proper Condom Use
  [the boys erroneously think they need to wear condoms all the time in order not to get or spread dis...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Towelie
  Towelie: Don't forget to bring a towel......
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants
  [about Osama bin Laden]::Eric Cartman: Ooh, tastes like chicken... the ass of a chicken....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: How to Eat with Your Butt
  Stan Marsh: Dude, the ass face's son is Ben Affleck....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: The Entity
  Kyle: My cousin's been here for two weeks and he's driving me insane. I've spent five years in this ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Here Comes the Neighborhood
  Skeeter: That was it. We just saw the last of them speeding away in a van!::[all the men yell, "All ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Kenny Dies
  Woman: [rrom the Make-A-Wish Foundation] So, Kenny, if you could have one wish, what would it be?::[...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Butters' Very Own Episode
  Butter's Dad: Son, sometimes it's OK to tell a little white lie. Like when you catch your father jac...
• Season 6
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Jared Has Aides
  [last lines]::Cartman: [sitting in a lawn chair in front of the Stotch's house, listening to Butters...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Asspen
  [the kids are skiing]::Thumper the Ski Instructor: OK little dude on the left what's your name?::Ike...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Freak Strike
  Stan: Hi Kenny.::Butters: I told you my name isn't Kenny. It's Butters.::Stan: Hi new Kenny....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Fun with Veal
  Kyle Broflovski: [after seeing hippies outside the window protesting for the boys] Dude, those gaywa...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer
  Woman: Oh my God, it's Russell Crowe!::Russell Crowe: [mocking the woman] Oh my God, it's Russell Cr...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Professor Chaos
  Narrator: Will Professor Chaos succeed in destroying the town? Who will be their new friend? And whi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: The Simpsons Already Did It
  Dougie: Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it! SIMPSONS DID IT!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Red Hot Catholic Love
  Cartman: Let's see. If you put food in your mouth, you crap out your butt. Maybe if you put food up ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Free Hat
  Cartman: Never underestimate the power of a free hat....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society
  Bebe: Having boobs sucks....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Child Abduction Is Not Funny
  City Wok Owner: How come every time we Chinese build a wall, Mongolains gotta come knock it down?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: A Ladder to Heaven
  Mr. Garrison: A ladder to heaven, that's fuckin' stupid....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers
  Eric Cartman: [Cartman and friends are pretending to be Lord of the Rings characters; they walk by a...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: The Death Camp of Tolerance
  Tolerance Camp Leader: Welcome to Tolerance Camp. You are here because you would not accept other pe...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: The Biggest Douche in the Universe
  [Stan performing as a psychic]::Stan: Ok, listen to me. Listen *very* carefully. This is a *trick* t...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: My Future Self n' Me
  [an older version of Stan has been sent back from the future through a time matrix]::Old Stan: Hey, ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: Red Sleigh Down
  [they've boarded Santa's spare sleigh]::Kyle: How do we start this thing?::Gnome: You just have to c...
• Season 7
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Cancelled
  [Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny are waiting by the school bus stop. This scene is a rehash of the ser...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Krazy Kripples
  Mr Swanson: Jimmy, we've told you before, God made you the way he did for a reason.::Jimmy: Right, b...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Toilet Paper
  Cartman: Okay. Last night, all four of us were at the bowling alley until about 7:30, at which time ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: I'm a Little Bit Country
  Reporter: [coming up to them ] Boys, why did you walk out of school today?::Stan: Uhhh... war.::Repo...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Fat Butt and Pancake Head
  Cartman: I just can't take it anymore, you guys. All the dancing, singing, the late night parties......
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Lil' Crime Stoppers
  [last lines]::Butters: Fellas! Hey fellas! I got it! I got my semen sample!::Cartman: You did?::Butt...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Red Man's Greed
  Randy Marsh: It's important to never quit when you're on a winning streak.::Stan Marsh: Winning stre...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: South Park Is Gay
  Crab People: [chanting] Crab people, crab people. Taste like crab, talk like people....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Christian Rock Hard
  Stan Marsh: You don't even know anything about Christianity!::Eric Cartman: I know enough to exploit...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Grey Dawn
  Mr. Garrison: And so you see, children, Genghis Khan was a "Mongol," not to be confused with a "mong...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Casa Bonita
  Cartman: Casa Bonita is my favorite place in the whole world, I'll just die if you don't take me. Pl...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: All About Mormons
  [last lines]::Gary Harrison: [to Stan] Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Butt Out
  Mr. Mackey: [Mr Mackey catches the boy smoking outside the school] OK, let me tell you boys somethin...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Raisins
  Goth Kid: I guess you can join up with us if you want.::Goth Kid 2: Yeah. We're gonna go to the grav...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: It's Christmas in Canada
  [last lines]::Stan: [at the end of the Christmas episode, on a parade in Canada] Oh, well, maybe we'...
• Season 8
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Good Times with Weapons
  Cartman: Okay. Go ahead, Kyle. Throw your nunchucks away. If you can. But you know damn well that yo...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Up the Down Steroid
  Cartman: [when at the special Olympics registration] CARTMAN... DUUUURRRRHHHH!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: The Passion of the Jew
  Stan: [about Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ"] That wasn't a movie - that was a snuff film! We w...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: You Got F'd in the A
  Goth Kid 2: We can't be a dance troupe with just guys. People will think we're fags....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: AWESOM-O
  Butters: I'm so glad you came into my life, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. You're the best friend a guy could have....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: The Jeffersons
  Kenny: [after Kyle, Stan and Blanket come running into the room] You guys. What the hell is going on...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Goobacks
  Stan: [the boys walk into a fast food restaurant and the cashier greets them in future talk] Can you...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Douche and Turd
  Giant Douche: We've got spirit, yes we do; Giant Douches me and you!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes
  Chef: Spread the word to other towns....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Pre-School
  Miss Clarage: Trent Boyett, what have you done now?::Young Trent Boyett: They said they could put it...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Quest for Ratings
  Stan Marsh: You guys, we watched Craig show all night long.::Token Williams: Yeah, it was great.::St...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset
  Mr. Stoch: Ok son, if you can raise $250 million we won't sell you to Paris Hilton....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Cartman's Incredible Gift
  SPOILER: It's too late, but we finally learn Ms. Crabtree's actual first name is Veronica....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Woodland Critter Christmas
  Woodland critters: [singing] What special time, what special place! / It's Woodland Critter Christma...
• Season 9
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina
  Mrs. Garrison: Hello boys! It's me - your teacher, Mrs. Garrison!::Cartman: [to Stan, Kyle and Kenny...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Die Hippie, Die
  Eric Cartman: [as he sees the attic hippies] See that. hippies. These are what we call the ,uh, gigg...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Wing
  SPOILER: The third episode since _"South Park" (1997) {Kenny Dies (#5.13)}_ (qv) in which Kenny dies...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Best Friends Forever
  [the crowds gather outside Hell's Pass Hospital protesting for the feeding tube to be reinserted int...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: The Losing Edge
  Cartman: [the boys are trying to intentionally throw the championship baseball game] At this point i...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: The Death of Eric Cartman
  Cartman: Well, it's all done. My soul is at peace. I think I can go now.::Butters: So I won't see yo...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Erection Day
  Jimmy Vulmer: Butters, do you know what you're supposed to do when your penis gets hard?::Butters St...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow
  Kyle: Can you believe it, Stan? I never thought global warming could happen so fast. I guess I didn'...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Marjorine
  Cartman: What if I were to tell you, that the girls have a device which allows them to see into the ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Follow That Egg
  Mr. Garrison: I'm still me! Just that I have a vagina!::Mr. Slave: But I'm gay! I don't like vaginas...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Ginger Kids
  Eric Cartman: [leading the "gingers" while chanting] Red Power - Red Power - Red Power - Red Power -...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Trapped in the Closet
  Stan: Dad! Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Free Willzyx
  The original idea with the sketch rendering of the boys was meant to be a really crude stick drawing...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Bloody Mary
  Randy Marsh: What seems to be the officer, problem?...
• Season 10
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: The Return of Chef
  Kyle: We shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us, We should be mad at that fruity little club for sc...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Smug Alert!
  Stan: All right, but listen. Your life is going to get real boring now that you don't have Kyle to r...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Cartoon Wars: Part 1
  Randy Marsh: [after learning that "Family Guy" will air an episode featuring the prophet Mohammed] F...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Cartoon Wars: Part 2
  Trucker: [Dropping Kyle off at the FOX Network studios] I really hope you succeed, kid. I don't wann...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: A Million Little Fibers
  The title is a reference to the book by James Frey called "A Million Little Pieces" a autobiography,...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: ManBearPig
  Al Gore: I'm SUPER cereal!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Tsst
  Mr. Mackey: Mrs. Cartman, we have had it with your son's behaviour, m'kay? Little Billy Turner is no...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Make Love, Not Warcraft
  Eric Cartman: You can just hang around outside in the sun all day, tossing a ball around, or you can...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Mystery of the Urinal Deuce
  George W. Bush: We all worked very hard to keep our involvement 9-11 a secret... but you just had to...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy
  Cartman: This is the kind of mace they use on bears faggot!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Hell on Earth 2006
  Biggie Smalls: You punk ass fool.::Butters Stotch: Aah!::Biggie Smalls: Why'd you summon me?::Butter...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Go God Go
  [the kids in class, including a new girl, see Ms. Garrison arriving, not too happy to teach them evo...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Go God Go XII
  [the Cartman of the year 2006 is tossing and turning in bed, impatient for a Nintendo Wii, when the ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Stanley's Cup
  Stan's boss has hung on the wall three of the most unbelievable South Park Gazette scoops: The drama...
• Season 11
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: With Apologies to Jesse Jackson
  Stan Marsh: [about what his dad said on Wheel of Fortune] Dude, its okay. My dad apologized to Jesse...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Cartman Sucks
  Eric Cartman: And then I took a picture of his wiener in my mouth! Hahahahahaha!::Kyle Broflovski: D...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Lice Capades
  Travis: Kelleh, Kelly can ya hear me? I don't know if you can... but... I want you to know I tried, ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: The Snuke
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Fantastic Easter Special
  [Jesus and Kyle are locked in a separate prison cell apart from Pope Benedict XVI's cell; Jesus furi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: D-Yikes!
  Ms. Garrison: Children I'm going to tell you something that you may find, well, a little strange. [s...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Night of the Living Homeless
  Jimbo Kern: What happened, Glenn?::Glenn: There's no help coming! Because of all the homeless... bec...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Le Petit Tourette
  Cartman: Alright hold on just a second. Are you telling me if you have this Tourette syndrome, you c...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: More Crap
  [from trailer]::Randy Marsh: [Randy, about to flush toilet, stops when he sees his crap in the toile...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Imaginationland
  Ike Broflovski: Yay! Kyle's gonna suck balls....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Imaginationland: Episode II
  Eric Cartman: Well, we're here now. That's all that matters.::[places a bowl of nuts on the table]::...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Imaginationland: Episode III
  Superman: [disembodied voice from above] I know that saving people can be a big responsibility, but ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Guitar Queer-o
  All the songs mentioned or heard are from 'Guitar Hero II'. However, the episode uses official track...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: The List
  Wendy Testaburger: [has found out why the list was forged] So that you could justify dating Clyde an...
• Season 12
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Tonsil Trouble
  [repeated line]::Eric Cartman: I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Britney's New Look
  Distraught over the media's nonstop coverage of her, Britney Spears attempts to commit suicide, but ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Major Boobage
  [last lines]::Stan Marsh: You guys! Check it out! It's Kenny.::[Kenny sniffs a flower]::Stan Marsh: ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Canada on Strike
  Tay Zonday: [when Butters sits down next to him] Chocolate Rain....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Eek, a Penis!
  Butters: That might be the teacher's penis.::Mr. Stotch: How do you know what your teacher's penis l...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Over Logging
  Sharon Marsh: Randy, off the internet.::Randy Marsh: [in childish voice] No! Come on, leave me alone...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Super Fun Time
  Eric Cartman: Butters, you gotta learn to chill. Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and loo...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: The China Probrem
  USA:8 October 2008...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Breast Cancer Show Ever
  [Everyone is watching Wendy fight Cartman]::Butters: Fuck him up, Wendy!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Pandemic
  Craig: Was there ever a moment, when you had the genius idea of becoming a Peruvian flute band, that...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Pandemic 2: The Startling
  The pan flute music heard during Craig's ending narration is 'Gary Numan' (qv)'s "Cars"....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: About Last Night...
  The episode uses quotes from 'Barack Obama' (qv) and 'John McCain (I)' (qv)'s Election Day speeches,...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Elementary School Musical
  [Cartman comes into class after saying the previous day that he was going to kill himself]::Kyle Bro...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: The Ungroundable
  USA:19 November 2008...
• Season 13
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: The Ring
  Jimmy Vulmer: Kenny deserves to know, fellas. If you guys found out my girlfriend was a raging whore...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: The Coon
  USA:18 March 2009...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Margaritaville
  Bank Clerk: How can I help you, young man?::Stan Marsh: I got a hundred-dollar check from my grandma...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Eat, Pray, Queef
  The episode's title is based upon 'Elizabeth Gilbert (III)' (qv)'s novel "Eat, Pray, Love"....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Fishsticks
  Jay Leno: So apparently more and more Americans are eating fishsticks. Have you seen this? Have you ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Pinewood Derby
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Fatbeard
  USA:22 April 2009...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Dead Celebrities
  After Ike wins the pageant and the camera veers out to the celebrating crowd a Visitor can be seen b...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Butters' Bottom Bitch
  USA:14 October 2009...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: W.T.F.
  Mexican 1: Dios mio! Muerto el pollo loco!::Mexican 2: Bastardos!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Whale Whores
  Cartman: Suck my Japanese-imprisoned balls!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: The F Word
  USA:4 November 2009...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Dances with Smurfs
  Eric Cartman: [after seeing James Cameron's Avatar] You sons of bitches! Dances with Smurfs was my i...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Pee
  USA:18 November 2009...
• Season 14
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Sexual Healing
  Kenny McCormick: [Mufffled] Autoerotic asphyxiation? What's that?::Researcher: I don't want to go in...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs
  Kyle: Mr. Garrison, didn't the guy who shot John Lennon say it was because of this book?::Mr. Garris...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Medicinal Fried Chicken
  Randy Marsh: The doctor made you a souvenir.::Sharon Marsh: Oh Randy, I love it!::Randy Marsh: And w...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: You Have 0 Friends
  Eric Cartman: Ah, here's a guy. Hey dude, how's it going?::Man on Webcam: Hey.::Eric Cartman: This i...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: 200
  USA:14 April 2010...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: 201
  [first lines]::Eric Cartman (as Mitch Connor): [voiceover] Saigon. It's a hell of a place. I've seen...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Crippled Summer
  Camp Counsellor: That's it. We're done. You are no longer employed here!::Kyle Broflovski: Please si...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Poor and Stupid
  Eric wants to be a NASCAR driver when he grows up but believes he's too fat and too smart and that i...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: It's a Jersey Thing
  Kyle Broflovski: [pushes Eric Cartman into a tree] I'm NOT one of them! Do you understand me? You be...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Insheeption
  Yusuf: Is this the dream? Or the dream within the dream?::Dominic Cobb: I don't know. Just keep shoo...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Coon 2: Hindsight
  USA:27 October 2010...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Mysterion Rises
  In this episode it is discovered how Kenny continues to show up despite the fact that he dies consta...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Coon vs. Coon and Friends
  Eric Cartman: [Narrating while riding on Cthulhu] Thanks to Coon and Friends the country will soon b...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Crème Fraiche
  USA:17 November 2010...
• Season 15
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: HUMANCENTiPAD
  Eric Cartman: It does email and web browsing and it shits in Kyle's mouth? This is the greatest thin...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Funnybot
  German President: I will now tell you a German joke. "A sausage maker buys a box of cereal."; I will...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Royal Pudding
  Canada:11 May 2011...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: T.M.I.
  Thinking the school has posted the size of all the kid's penises for the whole school to see, Cartma...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Crack Baby Athletic Association
  Secretary: [off-screen] Dean Howland, a representative from another prestigious institution is here ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: City Sushi
  City Wok Guy: How come every time a hard-working Chinese man open a business, some smelly Japanese d...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: You're Getting Old
  Doctor: I'm gonna try something else. Look at these two pictures. One of them is a new ad for Kevin ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Ass Burgers
  Morpheus: [to Stan] You've broken through their reality and they don't like it! Others deserve to kn...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: The Last of the Meheecans
  During a game of border patrol vs. Mexicans, where the kids play the two groups, Butters goes missin...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Bass to Mouth
  Kids at South Park Elementary School become enthralled with a new website called EavesDropper, which...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Broadway Bro Down
  Commercial announcer: The Book of Mormon! You'll get a blowjob....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: 1%
  Butters: And so then Skeletor told Terminator he wanted a divorce, and apparently it's all going to ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: A History Channel Thanksgiving
  History Channel announcer: You're watching The History Channel: The only network dedicated to histor...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: The Poor Kid
  Eric: Oh, wow - poor people being arrested. What a rare occurrence! Ha, ha. Hey, Kenny! Kenny, wave!...
• Season 16
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Reverse Cowgirl
  After a South Park citizen meets with an unfortunate accident, the TSA steps in to prevent it from h...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Cash for Gold
  [Stan calls a jewelry shopping channel]::Stan Marsh: Yeah hi. Erm, you should kill yourself.::Dean -...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Faith Hilling
  A new memetic trend emerges called "Faith Hilling", a derivative of "Bradying", which involves havin...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Jewpacabra
  Eric Cartman: Kyle! Kyle! My Hebrew friend! Did you see that it's raining frogs?::Kyle Broflovski: Y...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Butterballs
  The character of Bucky Bailey, the anti-bullying counselor, is drawn to resemble Bob Keeshan as Capt...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining
  USA:18 April 2012...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Cartman Finds Love
  Eric Cartman: There's something you should probably know. Man, this is hard. Um, the thing is, me an...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Sarcastaball
  Butters: Boy, this is why I just don't get football and suck at it.::Stan: You don't suck at footbal...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Raising the Bar
  Eric Cartman: I'm fucking fat, Kyle. I'm fat as fucking fuck....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Insecurity
  Commercial voiceover guy: [Gerald lies next to Shelia in bed] Erectile dysfunction is a fact of life...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Going Native
  USA:17 October 2012...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: A Nightmare on Facetime
  Randy Marsh: Stan! I'm coming Stanny Boy!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: A Scause for Applause
  The spoofing of the "Free Pussy Riot" movement led some in the Russian government to call for a ban ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Obama Wins!
  USA:7 November 2012...
• Season 17
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Let Go, Let Gov
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Informative Murder Porn
  Randy: Stan. Stan! How do you tame a horse in Minecraft? [naked and at Stan's door after finding out...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: World War Zimmerman
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers
  In over 16 years of the series, this became the first episode to be delayed and not make it's intend...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Taming Strange
  Canadian Healthcare Administrator: It was a mistake.::His wife: What?::Canadian Healthcare Administr...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Ginger Cow
  Eric Cartman: I'm pretty sure that this cow can make ginger cheese. Which is like a Swiss cheese but...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Black Friday
  Butters Stotch: Wizard Cartman, I started watching Game of Thrones.::Eric Cartman: Ah, yes, paladin ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: A Song of Ass and Fire
  Butters Stotch: The dragons are still just on their way! They keep promising dragons, but all I get ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Titties and Dragons
  Eric Cartman: Did you see Prometheus? I don't even think the writers knew what that was about....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: The Hobbit
  Wendy Testaburger: What the fuck is your problem? [referring to Butters turning down a fat girl whom...
• Season 18
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: (#18.1)