Labor Pains (2009)

Thea Clayhill is the reckless secretary of arrogant publisher Jerry Steinwald. When Jerry fires her having had an accident with his beloved dog, Thea lies and tells him that she is four-months pregnant. Thea lost her parents in a car accident and raises her younger sister Emma alone and can not afford to lose her job. Jerry goes on vacation to be with his dog and his brother Nick Steinwald assumes his position. Thea decides to fake her pregnancy for more time with the support of her friend Lisa.

Keywords: alcohol, announcement, assistant, author, baby-book, baby-shower, bar, baseball-game, bathroom, birthing-class

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Quotes:

Lisa DePardo: I need you to say 'My Name is Thea and I am NOT pregnant.'

Lisa DePardo: It smells like something died in here.::Thea Clayhill: It did... my soul.

Thea Clayhill: Do you think he'll ever forgive me?::Lisa DePardo: Do you want me to be honest? Or do you want me to make you feel better?

Lisa DePardo: Pregnant. It's brilliant. Where'd you come up with that?::Thea Clayhill: Oh, I saw it on an episode of law and order. Yeah, you can't fire a pregnant women. Discrimination, lawsuits, bad mojo... whatever.::Lisa DePardo: Smart.

Greg: You know, I find it fascinating that Kristin is only a month further along than you, and yet she's the size of a school bus while you're still over here looking like Kate Moss.::Thea Clayhill: Uh, different strokes, I guess.::Greg: Perhaps it's easier to feel the bump than to see it. [reaches for Thea's stomach, Lisa swats at his hand] What's the big deal? Everyone likes to touch a pregnant stomach.::Lisa DePardo: Because you're a gross weirdo, Greg.::Thea Clayhill: And the baby doesn't like gross weirdos, Greg!

Lisa DePardo: If you want people to think you're pregnant, you gotta start talking the talk and walking the... waddle.

Thea Clayhill: I look rediculous. These jeans are elastic on the top. I feel like I'm wearing a condom on my stomach.::Lisa DePardo: Trust me, you don't look like you've been anywhere NEAR a condom.

Lisa DePardo: Ew. Look at those nipples! [reading a pregnancy book]

Greg: Congratulations, Thea.::Thea Clayhill: Thank you, Greg.::Greg: You really think you can get to the top by playing games, don't cha? I know what you're up to, Thea. And I think that it stinks. It super stinks.::Lisa DePardo: Hm.::Thea Clayhill: Well, really? Do you think that it stinks that I wanna hire you to be my assistant?::Greg: Really?::Thea Clayhill: You'll start first thing Monday after I put the paperwork through.::Greg: Oh wow, Thea. Thea, thank you so much. I- I could kiss you right now.::Thea Clayhill: You don't have to do that.::Greg: I'll see you later, boss.

Thea Clayhill: ...No, I didn't finish college.::Nick: Oh, why not? Too boring? Not 'Joan Jett' enough for you?