Grudge Match (2013)

Actors: LL Cool J (actor), Rich Little (actor), Joey Diaz (actor), Don Lake (actor), Kevin Hart (actor), Elton LeBlanc (actor), Mike Goldberg (actor), Alan Arkin (actor), Griff Furst (actor), Paul Ben-Victor (actor), Michael Buffer (actor), Anthony Anderson (actor), Robert De Niro (actor), Frank Pesce (actor), Jay Oliver (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Sport,
Taglines: De Niro -vs- Stallone A rivalry 30 years in the making. When time hits hard, hit harder. No matter how old you are, come out swinging. A battle of the ages. Never give up the fight.

Quotes:

[from trailer]::Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: I wanted to see my old friend, he's been ducking me for thirty years! I missed him!::Henry 'Razor' Sharp: What you're talking is how you missing any wheels. I'm outta here!::Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: [wallops Sharp] No you're not! [a fight starts]::Dante Slate, Jr.: Stop the behavior of old men!

[from trailer]::Dante Slate, Jr.: I got a copy that wants an official rematch, they'll pay you a hundred grand!::Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Well, I can't be in the same room as that guy. It's not worth it.::Dante Slate, Jr.: The hell you mean, it ain't worth it? I'm looking at your house!

[from trailer]::Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: [looking at a fat man] You can't be my trainer. Maybe I believe you ATE my trainer.

[from trailer]::Lightning: [splashes water on Razor] Time to train!

[from trailer]::B.J.: [to McDonnen] Can I talk to you for a second? I'm your son. And I figured you could use my help.

[from trailer]::Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: [at Sharp] The whole world's laughing at us! But we're not dead! In fact, I feel more alive now than I ever felt!

[from trailer]::Sally Rose: No matter how hard you guys work, you won't be your best.::Henry 'Razor' Sharp: It's the best we got.

[from trailer]::Lightning: Hey Webster, show a little respect!::Dante Slate, Jr.: I choose to believe that you just called me Webster because of my dictionary-sized vocabulary, NOT because of my height and race!::Lightning: Nope, it's because you're short and black!::Dante Slate, Jr.: What was Jesus like? I'm curious. Was he cool?

[from trailer]::[Sharp throws a punch at a side of beef]::Lightning: HEY! What'cha doing? We're just here to buy a little dinner! You don't have to punch everything!

[from trailer]::Henry 'Razor' Sharp: I'll be a fighter. I was born to be a fighter.

Loud and Deep (2013)

Actors: Iyad Hajjaj (actor), Iyad Hajjaj (miscellaneous crew), Geoffrey Gould (actor), Shane Schoeppner (miscellaneous crew), Lonnie 'Lono' Woodley (actor), Adam Kargman (director), Adam Kargman (editor), Adam Kargman (actor), Adam Kargman (writer), Adam Kargman (producer), Angela McEwan (actress), Andrew Johnson (actor), Robert T. Barrett (actor), Michael J. Sielaff (actor), Max Tsarev (actor),

Plot: Down-and-out Wilbur Tuttle's luck changes when he intercepts a remote control that will cause anyone he points it at to do ... er, unmentionable things. Should Wilbur use the device to get revenge on his enemies? Hell yeah! Soon Wilbur is causing a citywide crisis of emulsions. Meanwhile, the mysterious owners of the device will stop at nothing to get their prize back...

Genres: Comedy, Short,
Taglines: Try to hold it in.

Major Payne (1995)

Actors: Michael Ironside (actor), Damon Wayans (writer), Scott Bigelow (actor), Damon Wayans (producer), Craig Safan (composer), Al Cerullo (actor), Damon Wayans (actor), Leonard L. Thomas (actor), William Hickey (actor), Nick Castle (director), Cassandra Butcher (miscellaneous crew), Albert Hall (actor), Richard Alan Simmons (writer), Chris Williams (actor), Patrick Kennedy (editor),

Plot: Major Benson Winifred Payne is being discharged from the Marines. Payne is a killin' machine, but the wars of the world are no longer fought on the battlefield. A career Marine, he has no idea what to do as a civilian, so his commander finds him a job - commanding officer of a local school's JROTC program, a bunch or ragtag losers with no hope. Using such teaching tools as live grenades and real bullets, Payne starts to instill the corp with some hope. But when Payne is recalled to fight in Bosnia, will he leave the corp who has just started the believe in him, or will he find out that killin' ain't much of a livin'?

Keywords: abusive-parent, ambush, army-life, bayonet, beating, bedtime-story, bonding, bullet, character-name-in-title, competition
Genres: Comedy,
Taglines: He's looking for a few good men... or a few guys old enough to shave.

Quotes:

Major Payne: I guess I just had that one a comin' Well you know what ya'll got a comin'? Seven twenty-three hour days of fun and adventure. I'm gonna make you boys strong!

Major Payne: Killing is my business, and business is GOOOOOOOD!

Major Payne: What we've got here is a failure to communicate.

Major Payne: My Name is Major Benson Winifred Payne. As of 0800, I am replacing Major Frankfurt as your commanding officer.::Cadet Deak Williams, Cadets: Booo. Boooooooooooooooo.::[Major Payne has fired warning shots in the air from his pistol for their insubordination; he slowly lowers it]::Major Payne: See what we have here is a failure to communicate.::[walks up to his cadets]::Major Payne: Do not attempt to challenge my authority. I have eight weeks to turn you gaggle of maggots into a well-discipline cadet unit. From this day forward your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose or dig in your buts without my say so. Know this, killing is my business, ladies, and business is good.

Major Payne: Let me tell you something ass-eyes, let me tell you ALL something: war has made me very PARANOID! and when you get to eye-balling me, makes my Agent Orange act up, makes me want to KILL!

Major Payne: Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up.::Emily: Excuse me, what did you say?::Major Payne: I didn't stutter, I said pop-your-titty-out-his-mouth AND STOP BABYING HIM.::Emily: I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing.::Major Payne: And I call it neutering.::Emily: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic ASSHOLE!::Major Payne: I ain't frigid.

Major Payne: From now on, my little group of shaved scrotum sacks, you will walk like me, talk like me, eat like me, and until you win those games, you will be BALD like me.

[after a ruse to try and get rid of him, Major Payne forces the cadets to wear dresses and march with him]::Major Payne: Got no worry, got no stress!::Cadets: Got no worry, got no stress.::Major Payne: 'Cause we feel good in a dress.::Cadets: 'Cause we feel good in a dress.::Major Payne: Major Payne's a major diss.::Cadets: Major Payne's a major diss.::Major Payne: He makes us squat when we piss.::Cadets: He makes us squat when we piss.::Major Payne: Got no worries, got no care.::Cadets: Got no worries, got no care.::Major Payne: I'm just a bald headed son of a bitch without hair.::Cadets: I'm just a bald headed son of a bitch without hair.::Major Payne: I tell ya, ladies, you're the prettiest cadets under my command. I oughta change my name to Pimp Daddy Payne.

Major Payne: You're still a shit sandwich. You're just not a soggy one. From this moment, you are no longer turds. You have graduated to maggots!

Major Payne: Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will quench your thirst.::Alex Stone: Try it.

Boys Life: Three Stories of Love, Lust, and Liberation (1994)

Actors: Dennis Christopher (actor), Brian Sloan (director), Bojesse Christopher (actor), Matt Nolan (actor), Steve Bilich (actor), Gwen Welles (actress), Steve Rally (actor), Kimberly Flynn (actress), Josh Philip Weinstein (actor), Raoul O'Connell (director), Raoul O'Connell (actor), Robert Lee King (director), Richard Salamanca (actor), Richard Foster (actor), Robb Willoughby (actor),

Plot: Each of the three short films in this collection presents a young gay man at the threshold of adulthood. In "Pool Days," Justin is a 17-year old Bethesda lad, hired as the evening life guard at a fitness center. In the course of the summer, he realizes and embraces that he's gay. In "A Friend of Dorothy," Winston arrives from upstate for his freshman year at NYU. He has to figure out, with some help from Anne, a hometown friend, how to build a social life as a young gay man in the city. In "The Disco Years," Tom looks back on 1978, the year in high school that he came out of the closet after one joyful and several painful encounters.

Keywords: coming-of-age, coming-out, compilation, gay, gay-interest, homosexual, independent-film, sexuality, youth
Genres: Drama,

Pool Days (1993)

Actors: Brian Sloan (actor), Brian Sloan (editor), Brian Sloan (director), Brian Sloan (writer), Brian Sloan (producer), Steve Bilich (actor), Kimberly Flynn (actress), Josh Philip Weinstein (actor), Richard Salamanca (actor), Charlie McNamara (miscellaneous crew), Robert A. Miller (producer), Richard Foster (actor), Chuck Gomez (miscellaneous crew), Adrian Davey (actor), Nick Kokotakis (actor),

Plot: Justin, a 17-year old entering his final year of high school, gets a job as a life guard at a fitness center. Surrounded by hard bodies of both sexes and instructed by his boss to keep an eye on the steam room to report any men having sex, Justin begins to divine the direction his erotic feelings point. In separate incidents, Vicky and Russell, two older co-workers, hit on him. He tries out responses to both, and then must figure out what to do with his new self-knowledge.

Keywords: coming-of-age, coming-out, gay, gay-teenager, homosexual, independent-film, lifeguard, sexuality, shower, speedo
Genres: Drama, Short,

Look Who's Toxic (1990)

Actors: Pascal (actor), John William Galt (actor), Alex Morris (actor), Ron Hall (actor), Mark Stolaroff (actor), Pamela Lane (producer), Pat Kelly (actor), April Barnett (actress), Alan Stewart (producer), Alan Stewart (writer), Alan Stewart (editor), Mark Chavarria (actor), Luis Lemus (actor), Frank Patterson (producer), Sharon Winkler (actor),

Genres: Horror,

Look Who's Toxic (1990)

Actors: Pascal (actor), John William Galt (actor), Alex Morris (actor), Ron Hall (actor), Mark Stolaroff (actor), Pamela Lane (producer), Pat Kelly (actor), April Barnett (actress), Alan Stewart (producer), Alan Stewart (writer), Alan Stewart (editor), Mark Chavarria (actor), Luis Lemus (actor), Frank Patterson (producer), Sharon Winkler (actor),

Genres: Horror,

The Party Animal (1985)

Actors: Harvey Hart (director), Timothy Carhart (actor), Patti Tippo (actress), Kari French (actress), Merrie Lawson (actress), Leland Crooke (actor), Judi Evans (actress), Jerry Jones (actor), David Beaird (director), David Beaird (writer), Karen Bankhead (actress), Debby Lynn Ross (actress), Mark Israel (producer), Lucy Roucis (actress), Matthew Causey (actor),

Plot: Pondo Sinatra is a college boy with a problem: women will have nothing to do with him. It's not that he was raised on a chicken farm and, literally, came to school on the back of a turnip truck. It's not that he is a virgin and jinxed, and every move he makes around a woman backfires. The problem is that god and heaven have set themselves against Pondo loosing his virginity. That is until Pondo discovers the secret formula to the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world and becomes....... "The Party Animal"!

Keywords: aphrodisiac, college, drugs, female-flatulence, female-nudity, female-stockinged-legs, independent-film, male-stripper, pantyhose, virgin
Genres: Comedy,
Taglines: A chemical reaction got him some action! ...when he walks in the party begins! From spud to stud in one quick sip!

Quotes:

Pondo Sinatra: You want some champaign?::Natasha: I can do without the "cham", just give me the pain...

Pondo Sinatra: I'm like King Midas - everything I touch turns to poontang!

Pondo Sinatra: Hound dogs gonna eat that pussy!

Pondo Sinatra: Roses are red, violets are blue, ya got big tits, I wanna suck on em' too!

Pondo Sinatra: I got a problem with my pecker.

Pondo Sinatra: Damn... all dressed up and no place to go.

Whore #1: [In whorehouse when first seeing Pondo] He's got a face only a cockroach could love.

Whore #2: [with heavy Brooklyn accent] I'd ratha fuck my fawtha.

Pondo Sinatra: [Inside sex shop, holding up giant double-dong] What's this for?::Porn Store Owner: Twins.

Pondo Sinatra: I WANT the M5!

A Polish Vampire in Burbank (1985)

Actors: Eddie Deezen (actor), Conrad Brooks (actor), Mark Pirro (writer), Mark Pirro (director), Mark Pirro (producer), Mark Pirro (editor), Mark Pirro (actor), Mark Van Horne (miscellaneous crew), John McCafferty (actor), Katina Garner (actress), Lori Sutton (actress), Marya Gant (actress), Gregg Gross (composer), Jim Bruce (actor), Tyrone Dubose (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Horror,

Once Upon a Time (1944)

Actors: William Austin (actor), Leonard Carey (actor), John Abbott (actor), Eddie Acuff (actor), Murray Alper (actor), George Bruggeman (actor), Kirk Alyn (actor), Don Barclay (actor), George Anderson (actor), Billy Bevan (actor), Henry Armetta (actor), Lloyd Bridges (actor), Charles Arnt (actor), Eddie Bruce (actor), Maurice Cass (actor),

Plot: Smalltime crookster and showman Jerry Flynn is desperately searching for a new act to promote in order to save him from ruin. He meets a boy on the street who claims to have a dancing caterpillar called Curly. Flynn seizes the opportunity for fame and fortune at Curly's expense.

Keywords: caterpillar, con-trick, dancing-caterpillar, once-upon-a-time-in-the-title
Genres: Comedy, Fantasy,