The Burden (2013)

Actors: Willow Hale (actress), David Alan Graf (actor), Steffinnie Phrommany (actress), Mark Riccardi (miscellaneous crew), Marguerite Insolia (actress), Scotty Servis (actor), Peter Jang (actor), Jonathan Moch (director), Jonathan Moch (actor), Jonathan Moch (producer), Jonathan Moch (writer), Krishan Arora (actor), Nathan Malone (actor), Kate Barnett (actress), Kate Barnett (producer),

Genres: Action, Adventure, Short,

Family Guy Presents: It's a Trap (2010)

Actors: Bruce McGill (actor), Seth MacFarlane (actor), Seth MacFarlane (actor), Seth MacFarlane (actor), Seth MacFarlane (actor), Seth MacFarlane (actor), Ted Knight (actor), Seth MacFarlane (actor), H. Jon Benjamin (actor), Seth MacFarlane (actor), Seth Green (actor), Dee Bradley Baker (actor), Michael Dorn (actor), Patrick Stewart (actor), Seth MacFarlane (actor),

Genres: Animation, Comedy, Sci-Fi,

Quotes:

Title Crawl: A long time ago, after "M*A*S*H", but before After "M*A*S*H"...::Title Crawl: Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in order to - okay, you know what, we don't care. We were thinking of not even doing this one.Fox made us do it. When we did "Blue Harvest", they said, "Oh, you guys are crazy." They tried to talk us out of it, and it ended up making a ton of money. By then we just finishing "Empire", and we were absolutely exhausted. But Fox suddenly had dollar signs in their eyes, and they said, "Seth, if you don't do "Jedi", we're not gonna let you leave to go direct your movie."::Title Crawl: I'm sorry. I took a muscle relaxer earlier and it's kicking in. I'm just so stressed because there's been a care parked in front of my house for three straight days and there's a pillow in the back seat. And I've never seen anyone get it or out of it, but moves a couple feet one way or the other each day. Wouldn't it be funny if it was a bunch of raccoons living in there, moving out? You know, with their little paws on the steering wheel? And then another one working the brake and the gas? And the steering wheel raccoon and the pedal raccoon have to talk back and forth to each other 'cause the brake pedal guy can't see the road? I'm gonna keep thinking that, 'cause I know really it's probably a car bum.::Title Crawl: Look, just do me a huge favor and lower your expectations, okay? Just this one time. I promise I'll make it up to you. I mean "Star Wars" , fine. "Empire" - still not bad. But on this one we ran out of gas. Seriously, we let the assistants write it. Hell, even the Fed Ex guy got a joke in, and he calls the baby "Steve." Anyway, here's "Return of the Jedi" starring Steve as Darth Vader.

Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader: Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! I just... I don't understand why... I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change in Atlanta.

Cleveland Brown as R2-D2: Kid's tongue stuck to a ass.

Peter Griffin as Han Solo: I know that laugh. It's the 7Up guy.

Cleveland Brown as R2-D2: Oh, Luke! Did you want me to throw you your lightsaber?::Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker: Yeah, about 10 minutes ago!::Cleveland Brown as R2-D2: Just so you know, the compartment I keep your lightsaber is in my rectum.

Glenn Quagmire as C-3PO: The mighty Jabba has decreed that you are to be thrown in the Sarlacc pit. There, you will discover a new meaning of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over 1,000 years.::Peter Griffin as Han Solo: No sweat. I'm bringing a box of All-Bran. I'll be sprayed all over the desert in a week. Right? Big lips on a stick knows what I'm talking about.::Sy Snoodles: Ha! Fiber!

Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker: Master Yoda, is Darth Vader my father?::Carl as Yoda: Yeah, it's either Darth Vader or Paul Reiser, but they don't want to know which one is your real father, so, they're gonna raise you together.

Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker: Oh! Can you play the theme from E.T., John Williams?::John Williams: No, but I can do the theme to Entertainment Tonight.

Peter Griffin as Han Solo: Hey, take your helmet off. I'll do "got your nose."::Stormtrooper: We're not supposed to take these off, but I really want to see that.::Peter Griffin as Han Solo: What the hell? Your head is so small.::Stormtrooper: Yeah, that's why we wear these big helmets. It's a lot more intimidating.::Peter Griffin as Han Solo: I'll be honest with you. I don't like people who are different.::[shoots Stormtrooper in the head]

Peter Griffin: The end. And that's the final chapter in the Star Wars saga.::Meg Griffin: What about the prequels?::Peter Griffin: I think the Cleveland Show is gonna do those.

Blade: Trinity (2004)

Actors: Parker Posey (actress), Natasha Lyonne (actress), Wesley Snipes (actor), Eric Bogosian (actor), James Remar (actor), Jessica Biel (actress), Paul Levesque (actor), Callum Keith Rennie (actor), Patton Oswalt (actor), Kris Kristofferson (actor), Ryan Reynolds (actor), Christopher Heyerdahl (actor), John Michael Higgins (actor), Toby Emmerich (producer), Avi Arad (producer),

Plot: Blade is a day-walking vampire hunter. When the Vampire Nation hatches a plan to frame Blade in a series of brutal killings, he must join forces with the Nightstalkers, a clan of human vampire hunters, in an extreme battle in which the trail of blood leads directly to the notorious vampire legend, Dracula.

Keywords: 2000s, action-hero, archery, arrow-catching, automatic-pistol, bare-chested-male-bondage, based-on-comic, based-on-comic-book, bitten-in-the-throat, blade
Genres: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller,
Taglines: Where it began so it shall end. The final hunt begins. He's fought the forces of darkness alone...until now.

Quotes:

Hannibal King: [after breaking in through the window] Evening, ladies.

[after Hannibal sends the vampire dogs plummeting out the high-rise's window]::Jarko Grimwood: Hey, dick-face. You seen my dog?::Hannibal King: Have you tried the lobby?

Hannibal King: Her name is Danica Talos. You met her earlier. And unlike typical vampires, her fangs are located in her vagina.::[uncomfortable pause]::Hannibal King: Moving on...

Hannibal King: [after watching Blade casually kill a familiar] You know, at some point, you, uh, you might wanna consider sitting down with somebody. You know, have a little share time? Kick back. Get in touch with your inner child, that sorta thing. Also, just a thought, but you might wanna consider blinking once in a while.::[Blade stops and slowly turns to look at Hannibal]::Hannibal King: I'm sorry, I, uh... I ate a lot of sugar today.

Hannibal King: We're still trying to sort out fact from fiction when it comes to Dracula. Turning into mist? Kinda doubt it. But general shape-shifting? Maybe.::Hedges: Not into a bat or a wolf or anything like that, but, another human, uh, with practice, could be possible. Because he wouldn't have a-a traditional skeletal structure. Something more like a snake's, with thousands of, uh, tiny bones, and...::Hannibal King: I have a - I have a question about that, Hedges. Have you ever been laid?::Hedges: Many times... with ladies.

Hannibal King: [to Danica, as she is dying from the Daystar Plague] Hang in there, kitten. I'll get help.

Danica Talos: The world's changed since your time. The humans have a new hunter... Blade.

Abraham Whistler: Congratulations, you're famous. Somebody nailed us. Faces all over the papers, televisions. Media's eating it up.::Blade: Like I care.::Abraham Whistler: Well, you should. Somethin' like this, takin' out a human, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, you're public enemy #1.::Blade: Didn't notice it was a popularity contest.

Ray Cumberland: Say, how many people have you killed, Blade? Thirty? Forty? Fifty?::Blade: One thousand, one hundred and eighty two. But they were all familiars.

Blade: You're not immortal. I musta heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim. Each one of them has tasted the end of my sword.::Dracula: Perhaps I will too, then. But I think it is more likely the next time we meet, you fall before *mine*.

Two or Three Words (1999)

Actors: Noam Jenkins (actor), Tony Curtis Blondell (actor), Scott McCord (actor), John Kalangis (actor), David Sutcliffe (actor), Robert Eaton (actor), Evan Georgiades (writer), Evan Georgiades (director), Alisa Wiegers (actress),

Genres: ,

Playing God (1997)

Actors: Armyan Bernstein (producer), Brad Stephens (miscellaneous crew), Richard Hartley (composer), Tracey Walter (actor), Angelina Jolie (actress), Dan Perri (miscellaneous crew), Peter Stormare (actor), Andrew Tiernan (actor), John Hawkes (actor), David Duchovny (actor), Timothy Hutton (actor), Gary Dourdan (actor), Keone Young (actor), Marc Abraham (producer), Robin Anderson (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: Stripped of his medical license after performing an operation while high on amphetamines, famed LA surgeon Dr Eugene Sands abandons his former life only to find himself crossing paths with Raymond Blossom, an infamous counterfeiter. Employed as a "gun-shot doctor" when Raymond's associates cannot risk visiting a hospital, Eugene is lured deep into the criminal world and becomes entangled with his boss's girlfriend.

Keywords: addict, anti-hero, asthma-inhaler, automobile, bar, bare-chested-male, basketball-game, beach, betrayal, blood
Genres: Crime, Drama, Thriller,
Taglines: Joining this deadly underworld was easy. But getting out...deadly! Power to heal. Power to kill. Hell to pay. It's about who you are. It's about life & death. It's about... A game with no rules.

Quotes:

Eugene: Sometimes we all wonder how things come to be. A chain of events: A leads to B leads to C leads to Z. Each life is made up of big decisions and each day is made up of a million little decisions. What shirt to wear, what street to walk on, what to eat for lunch. Now all of these seemingly inconsequential choices may change your life forever. But who can handle that kind of responsibility? It would paralyze you to think about it. So you have to trust your instinct, what the Greeks might call your character. You better pray to whatever god you believe in that your character knows what the hell it's doing. I thought I was a man of character. Good character. Then I made a mistake. A bad one that changed everything. That's why I found myself walking into a lousy L.A. bar to buy some Phenolcitrate - -synthetic heroin, my personal favorite. See, when I got high, the chain of events disappeared. No past, no future, just the sweet and sticky now. But before I could get home that night with my bag of goodies something happened. I did a good thing. One good deed that started another chain that I wasn't ready for. A ride I had no business taking.

[Eugene is drinking cough syrup]::Claire: Funny, I didn't hear you coughing.

Gage: [answering phone] Gage.::Raymond: It's Raymond Blossom.::Gage: Do I know you?::Raymond: As well as you can know someone you have under 24 hour surveillance.::Gage: Oh, that Raymond Blossom.

[At a Lakers game]::Claire: C'mon! Take it to the hole!::Raymond: Oh, baby! I love it when you talk dirty!

Agent: I'm with the FBI!::Eugene: What do you want?::Agent: I want you to let go of my neck!

Claire: How did you lose your license?::Eugene: I was operating on a patient and the patient died.::Claire: Was it your fault?::Eugene: I was under the influence of narcotics and methamphetamines at the time, so yes, you could say it was my fault.::Claire: How long ago was it?::Eugene: Ten months, five days... what time is it now?

Eugene: Now I get to use a phrase I always wanted to use in med school: take your clothes off and get under the sheets.

Eugene: Alone at last!::Claire: You must be somebody who's always on the lookout for a new way to fuck up.::Eugene: Why is it that you always find me so objectionable?::Claire: Other than the fact that you're a drug addict and the only patients you treat are criminals?::Eugene: You mean your associates? I'm not a drug addict. I take drugs to feel normal, to get level. I regulate my intake very precisely.::Claire: I'm sorry, that's right, you're a highly trained professional. You should know.::Eugene: No, you were actually right the first time- I'm just basically always looking for a new way to fuck up.

Eugene: I don't know what I'm doing here.::Claire: You're dancing.::Eugene: That's a matter of opinion.

[During a car chase]::Raymond: Use the Force, Luke!

Quiet Victory: The Charlie Wedemeyer Story (1988)

Actors: Mark Joy (actor), Peter Berg (actor), Reginald VelJohnson (actor), Michael Nouri (actor), Noble Willingham (actor), Don Davis (composer), Dan Lauria (actor), Pam Dawber (actress), Stephen Dorff (actor), James Handy (actor), J. Michael Hunter (actor), Richard K. Olsen (actor), Blaine G. Houserman (miscellaneous crew), Jim Grimshaw (actor), Kyle Chandler (actor),

Genres: Drama,

Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss (1988)

Actors: James Sikking (actor), Kim Davis (miscellaneous crew), Jerry O'Connell (actor), Peter Gerety (actor), Annabelle Weenick (actress), Cameron Johann (actor), William M. Anderson (editor), Jean Shepherd (actor), Jean Shepherd (actor), Jean Shepherd (writer), Dorothy Lyman (actress), John William Galt (actor), Richard Bartlett (editor), Michael Barefoot (miscellaneous crew), Dick Bartlett (director),

Plot: It's summertime in Hohman, Indiana, and 14-year-old Ralph Parker can't wait to get his first job. His friends Schwartz and Flick are less enthusiastic, and the job turns into a nightmare presided over by the story's author, Jean Shepherd, in hilariously unconvincing movie makeup. Ralph's dad hardly can wait for the family's upcoming fishing vacation in Michigan at the movie title's resort but will have to drive their old car through a sea of troubles to get there. Fuzzhead the dog runs away and joins a wealthy family, to the consternation of Mom, who patiently handles über-whiner little-brother Randy and buys a whirligig as consolation.

Keywords: character-name-in-title, nostalgia, sequel, teenage-boy, vacation
Genres: Comedy, Family,

Quotes:

Ralph's Mother: [whistles] Are you up?::Old Man: [yelling] Will you shut up?

[Randy desperately has to go to the bathroom]::Randy: [whining] Mom, I can't undo my knot; I have to go!::Ralph's Mother: Ralph, would you help your brother?::Ralph: For crying out loud! OK, runt, let's go!

Ralph's Mother: [in a high pitched voice] Boys! Come on, breakfast is ready!::[radio shorts out and breaks]

[the family just stopped for Ralph's mother to look at house rugs]::Old Man: [to himself] Just once, I'd like to get to Ollie's before dark. Just once!

Ralph's Mother: [the family is finishing loading the car] OK, we have the box of canned goods... did you get the bath mat?::Old Man: The what?::Ralph's Mother: The bath mat!::Old Man: A bath mat? What do we need a bath mat for?::Ralph's Mother: Well, you never know! It might be nice.

Ralph's Mother: [looking at homemade windmills] They spin!::Grannie of Grannie's Old Log Cabins: Yeah, the wind does that.::Ralph's Mother: Isn't that clever? The wind does that!

Old Man: What are you doing? We don't have time to look at any dumb hooked rugs! We're trying to make it to Ollie's before dark!

The Phantom of the Open Hearth (1976)

Actors: Jean Shepherd (actor), Jean Shepherd (actor), Jean Shepherd (writer), Joey Faye (actor), Roberta Wallach (actress), Dick Bartlett (editor), Dick Bartlett (miscellaneous crew), Jennifer von Mayrhauser (costume designer), Fred Barzyk (producer), Fred Barzyk (director), David R. Loxton (director), David R. Loxton (producer), James Broderick (actor), Michael Stein (actor), David Elliott (actor),

Genres: Family,

Maxime (1958)

Actors: François Périer (actor), Marcel Rouzé (actor), Jacques Dufilho (actor), Jean-Marie Proslier (actor), Charles Boyer (actor), François Périer (actor), Christian Brocard (actor), Fernand Fabre (actor), Charles Bayard (actor), Georges Adet (actor), Charles Lemontier (actor), Jean Degrave (actor), Van Doude (actor), Bernard Musson (actor), Dominique Zardi (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Drama,

Le train de huit heures quarante-sept (1934)

Actors: Fernand Ledoux (actor), Albert Broquin (actor), Vincent Scotto (composer), Fernand Charpin (actor), René Pujol (writer), René Dary (actor), Édouard Delmont (actor), Fernandel (actor), René Lacourt (actor), Georges Courteline (writer), Georges Prieur (actor), Henry Wulschleger (director), Paul Velsa (actor), Hennery (actor), Bach (actor),

Genres: Comedy,