Homestarrunner.com: Everything Else, Volume 3 (2007)

Actors: Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (producer),

Genres: Animation, Comedy,

Quotes:

Homestar Runner: Everybody loves the me! I'm a terrific athlete!

Strong Bad: Oh look, The Cheat! If it isn't the big, fat, yellow blob and Pom Pom!::Homestar Runner: Hey! No, wait. Hey! No, wait. Hey! Wait.::Strong Bad: Lemme break it down for you like this: I am the very strongest. While on the other hand, inversely, you guys are not very strong!::[Pom Pom makes angry bubbling noises. Strong Bad and Homestar look shocked]::Homestar Runner: Whoa, Pom Pom! Let's tone down the language before the contest, huh?

Homestar Runner: Whoa-ho, Marzipan! You look like a fox's mother!::Marzipan: Homestar, if you're trying to say I'm a foxy mama, that's actually more offensive.::Homestar Runner: Right, you know what I mean. The more offensive one.

[a tired Homestar in his pajamas walks in a post-vacation return party everyone attends after going off on different vacations]::Homestar Runner: [yawns] What's up, my brothers? Let no one say the Homestar Runner don't know how to nap. What is it, like mid-May or something?::Strong Bad: Uh, try "early July."::Homestar Runner: [screams] I slept through June!::Strong Bad: Yup.

[Homestar and Strong Bad are distraught to learn that Marzipan and The Cheat are dating each other]::Homestar Runner: Oh, man. Seriously, Strong Strong, we've gotta do something about this.::Strong Bad: Well, ordinarily, I just drown my sorrows in video games. But for this, maybe I should drown them in... drowning *them*.::Homestar Runner: Uh, maybe let's not kill anybody. We should just try and ruin their date.::Strong Bad: Explain to me how drowning them wouldn't ruin their date.::Homestar Runner: Mainly, I just want to keep them from making out.::Strong Bad: [rubbing his arms] Ewww! The disgust! It won't wash off!

Gunhaver: [to the Cheat Commandos] Cheat Commandos... riggidy-roll!::Silent Rip: Uh, that's not what we usually say...::Gunhaver: Yeah, whatever, it's "riggidy-roll" from now on.

[Strong Bad does a commentary on Homestar Runner characters costumes fans made and he sees one of a man dressed as Homestar standing in a foyer of a building]::Strong Bad: [narrating] Why do I get the sinking feeling that no one else was present when this photograph was taken? And that the camera's just sitting on a nearby trash can. And that guy accidentally set the timer for three minutes instead of ten seconds, and he sat there and waited the whole time for the picture to take. And after it did, he went back upstairs to his dorm room, and went to bed. I mean, and wet the bed.

Marzipan: [greeting on her Answering Machine] Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm probably outside eating some dirt or something. So just leave me a message.::[Homestar leaves a message by calling with a bananna]::Homestar Runner: Oh hey Marzipan, it's Homestar. Check it out, I'm on Pom Pom's cell phone, I'm gonna send you a text message. Are you ready? Here goes... P... L... Z... Spacebar... G... E... T... Spacebar... E... G... G... S... Spacebar, oh! Backspacebar, comma, M... I... L... K... Question mark? Okay, now I have to send it. Boo boo doot! This is great, now we don't have to talk anymore! Bye!

Homestar Runner: [leaving a message on Marzipan's answering machine] Hey, Marzipan, it's Homestar... and, um... crap. What was I calling you for? I was gonna ask you something... about... something. Aw, never mind. If I think of it, I'll call you back. Now give me that beep!

Homestar Runner: [leaving a message on Marzipan's answering machine] Hey Marzipan, I remembered what it was! I'm actively sinking in quicksand! So, if you have any vines or roots that you can toss my way, I would be really, really still alive. Now bring that beep back!

Strongbad_email.exe: Disc Five (2007)

Actors: Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor),

Genres: Animation, Comedy,

Quotes:

Strong Bad: [to Homestar at an exaggeratively slow pace] What are you... um... doing?::Homestar Runner: [also at an exaggeratively slow pace] I'm practicing... closing... my eyes. I'm not very... good... at it... though.::Strong Bad: I see.::Homestar Runner: More like... *I* see.::[Homestar strains to close his eyes until they're completely closed]::Homestar Runner: Ooh, there we go! Now I see what all the fuss is about.::[his eyes pop open again]::Homestar Runner: Oops, I lost it.

Strong Sad: Look, you can tell me!::Homestar Runner: [ashamed] I can't!::Strong Sad: Oh, come on, what is it?::Homestar Runner: I'm... pregnant!::[suspensful music plays]::Strong Sad: No. No, you're Homestar. Runner. The *male.*::Homestar Runner: Oh, phew. Thought I was a pregnant woman for a second there.::Strong Sad: Yeah. Uh, I think I'd like my money back now.

Strong Bad: [email intro; rapping] E-mail theme song! 1-2-3! A da-da-checka e-mail with me, SB, y'all!

Strong Bad: Oh great! My antidepressants ran out. Nothing quite dulls the pain like several half-full bags of Italian-Herb-Chipotle-Buffalo-Ranch-Guacamole-Thai-Peanut style chippity chunks. Guess I better slink over to Bubs' and get my prescription refilled. Sliiiiiink...

[Bubs is staring at the side of his concession stand when Strong Bad walks up]::Strong Bad: [at an exaggeratedly slow pace] Bubs! What craziness... is going on... over here?::Bubs: [also at an exaggeratedly slow pace] Oh! Strong Bad! You startled me. I was just counting the bricks on this side of the building. I'm up to 248.::Strong Bad: Two hundred and forty-eight. That's just a little less than 250.::Bubs: Yep. I remember learning that in school.

[Strong Bad has arrived in a vector field and met Vector 3D Strong Bad. Then Stinkoman arrives]::Stinkoman: Hey, guys! How's challenges?::Vector 3D Strong Bad: What it is, my doge?::Strong Bad: Whoa, you two know each other?::Stinkoman: Oh, totally sure! He's my training simulator. Check it out! [Vector 3D Strong Bad moves about, shooting 3D geometric attacks from his mouth, while Strong Bad and Stinkoman dodge them by jumping about. Then it ends]::Stinkoman: [to Strong Bad] Nice work, big nose.::Strong Bad: Big nose?::Stinkoman: Your nose!

Strong Bad: [singing] You've got the munch, the crisp and the crunch, living in the gutter with Grandma! When life pulls you in, you go for the win! Y2K turned out all right! SBLOUNSKCHED! You can do it! SBLOUNSKCHED! Crunchy chew it! Who's got the money? You got SBLOUNSKCHED!

E-mail: [with Strong Bad reading it] Have you ever been the narrator for a movie? Grant Gossman from Minnesota.::Strong Bad: [typing response] No Grossman, I have not. But you know what's way better than narrating movies? Narrating peoples' pathetic everyday lives like they're movie trailers. Ready? Let's try it!::[Strong Bad goes to Strong Sad's room, where Strong Sad is eating a small pie]::Strong Bad: [dramatically] Meet Strong Sad.::Strong Sad: What? Who are you talking to?::Strong Bad: All he ever wanted was to eat his grody ethnic food in peace.::Strong Sad: Hey man, this is a Rogan Josh pot pie!::Strong Bad: Until one day, fate threw him a curveball.::[an octopus flies through the air and hits Strong Sad in the face, where it sticks]::Strong Sad: Ow!::Strong Bad: [on a logo splash] Lump of Dump Pictures proudly presents: "Whined & Dined". In the game of life, may the best man... whine.

[Strong Bad receives an email on if he and his gang have ever been on a road trip before]::Strong Bad: [typing response] Oh, yeah! Me and The Cheat, we're roadtripcionados. And one thing I've found, is that every good road trip needs a good inside joke that only the people that went on the road trip will get. And your friends that didn't go on the road trip will want to kill your legs every time you bring it up. These days, I make up the inside joke before I go on the road trip, just in case one doesn't happen. For this road trip, we'll make it... jumbo/LARGE. Get it? jumbo/LARGE? It's like a maxymoron.

[Strong Bad had gotten Pom Pom to take some headshots of him as a model]::Strong Bad: I can't wait to get those pictures back from the lab. I can totally see some of them being used in one of those glossy fashion magazines. Y'know, the kind that cost nine bucks and are 97% ads. Like maybe in an ad for those fancy leather shoes that you're supposed to wear without socks. WITHOUT SOCKS!::[a tube sock ad also featuring Strong Bad appears on screen]::Strong Bad: Man! Can you imagine the luxury! Ooh! Or some kinda fancy men's colognac.::[an athletic foot cream ad featuring Strong Bad appears on screen]::Strong Bad: And I can be laying next to some skinny blonde girl looking totally disinterested. You know like, "Whatever, baby. You can't even approach the flava... of my colognac." No wait! The cover of some steamy romance novel!::[the cover of "Unnatractive Detective Stories! The Case of the Dame with the Hard-to-look-at Teeth," depicting Strong Bad and a hideous woman, appears on screen]::Strong Bad: And my ripped self would be on top of some cliff or lighthouse clutching a milkmaid in a flowy dress. And she'd be like, "No, Parson Jim, it can never be!" But I'm all like, "Look in your heart, Chezmerelda."

Homestarrunner.com: Everything Else, Volume 2 (2006)

Actors: Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor),

Genres: Animation, Comedy,

Quotes:

Homestar Runner: What in Pete Sampras is going on here?

[Marzipan has started her own rock band and Strong Mad and The Cheat have joined. She calls her band "Cool Tapes", named after the words Homestar wrote on the wall. They perform the band's theme song, with her on lead guitar, Strong Mad on bass and The Cheat on drums]::Marzipan: One! Two! Three! Four! [singing] Cool tapes are cool, 'cause they're where it is at / Cool tapes are cool, and we like it like that / Cool tapes / Cool tapes / We like to get it down with the cool, cool tapes / We like to get down with... [stops singing] Um... um...::Homestar Runner: A bag of four grapes?::Marzipan: [resumes singing] A bag of four grapes!

[singing to the tune of "O Christmas Tree." While The Cheat, Pom Pom, and the Poopsmith stand by, they don't do actual singing]::Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan, The King of Town: Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween! Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!::Marzipan: With bunnies running for their lives.::The King of Town: I wish this one was supersized.::Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan, The King of Town: Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween! Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!::Strong Sad: What are you guys talking about?::Strong Bad: Hey, who the crap let Strong Sad out?::Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan, The King of Town: Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween! Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!::Bubs: I got all kinds of crazy crap!::Homestar Runner: I bought Strong Bad a "Deep_Impact!"::Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan, The King of Town: Decemberween, Decemberween...::Homestar Runner: Coach Z's been drinking Listerine!

[repeated line]::Reinforcements: Hey, guys.

Homestar Runner: Hey Strong Bad, I really like your costume. The Spanish Inquisition? That's great.::Strong Bad: Look, for the last time, I'm not The Spanish Inquisition, I'm not Cab Calloway, and I'm not Strong Bad wearing a yellow turtleneck! I'm Carmen freakin' Sandiego!::Marzipan: I like Cab Calloway.::Strong Bad: Okay, Poopsmith, that's the worst costume I ever saw. I mean, you're *Lazer Tag*? What, are you supposed to be dressed up as the product? Or is it more abstract than that, like you're supposed to be the concept of Lazer Tag? Come on man, you know you just found that old crap in a trunk in your basement.::The King of Town: Ease off, Strong Bad! He's not the one that dressed up as a *girl* two years in a row.::Strong Bad: Oh ho ho ho, you asked for it, King.::[Strong Mad punches The King of Town]::Marzipan: What's wrong with girls?::Bubs: Did any of you guys go to that house that was giving out change? I changed my costume and went back ten times. I made 35 dollars!::Strong Sad: Did you guys go to that house where they let you into this big room and there's all these people wearing black hoods and they ask you these questions about life and existence and if you answer them wrong you get eternal damnation, but if you answer them right you get a Twizzler?::Strong Bad: Um, no.::Homestar Runner: No.::Coach Z: Nope.::The King of Town: No.::Bubs: Nope.::The Cheat: [a The Cheat noise that means, "No."]::Strong Mad: No.::Marzipan: No.::Strong Sad: Oh, never mind.::Marzipan: I like your costume, Strong Sad, but you weren't invited this year.::Coach Z: Say, Pom Pom, check out this funky bass groove: a doo'rear, a doo'ri, a doo'rear, a doo'ri!::[He grooves around a little]::Homestar Runner: I really have to pee.::Strong Bad: Yeah, and the Poopsmith's not smelling any rosier, neither.::Homestar Runner: Oh, oh, I've got an idea! Let's totally freak 'em out. Let's repeat the stuff that we just said! Hey, Strong Bad, I really like your costume. The Spanish Inquisition? That's great...

Strong Bad: Things were just about to start getting crazy go nuts!

[Strong Bad opens his Decemberween present from Homestar]::Strong Bad: What! A "Deep Impact" DVD? You got me this for like the last three years, man!::Homestar Runner: I know, and you liked it so much, I decided to get it for you again.

Coach Z: You say, "tomater"; I say, "tomatemort".

Homestar Runner: [sighs a lot]::Strong Sad: What's the matter, Homestar?::Homestar Runner: [surprised] Oh! Strong Sad! I can't decide what to get Strong Bad for Decemberween.::Strong Sad: Uh, what do you mean?::Homestar Runner: Well, I know he's kind of a jerk sometimes, and he says "Holy crap" a lot, but I think if I get him the perfect present, he just might like me again.::Strong Sad: What? People get presents for Decemberween? I always just get locked in the bathtub.

Marzipan: [on answering machine] Hi, this is Marzipan. Please leave me a message.::Strong Bad: [leaving a message] Oh, hey Marzipan. Have you seen The Cheat? Because we can't find him anywhere. Anyways, this is Strong Bad and... [Strong Bad then stammers and clears his throat, talking like Homestar, only very poorly] I mean, this is Homestar... Runner. Oh, Marzipan, I killed Pom Pom! Yeah, we were playing badminton in his yard and I got mad and I killed him! Oh, no, I need your help burying his body. [He starts laughing in a stifled way] Uh, bring some towels and some garbage bags. This is Homestar.

Homestarrunner.com: Everything Else, Volume 1 (2005)

Actors: Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor),

Genres: Animation, Comedy,
Taglines: Everything but the emails.

Quotes:

[Homestar is advertising for Fluffy Puff Marshmallows]::Homestar Runner: Before I drink a tall glass of melonade, I like to eat about 147 Fluffy Puff Marshmallows. Seriously, folks, they're the best.

[Strong Bad is interviewing Homestar to figure out what his "freakin' problem is"]::Strong Bad: I've heard you enjoy prancing around like an idiot. Is this true?::[Homestar responds by prancing around and singing]::Homestar Runner: [singing] La-dee-la-da-da-la-dee.::Strong Bad: I suppose that answers my question.

Cheerleader: It's our 10th issue-versary! Let's do a clip show!::So and So: Let's have a wedding!::The Ugly One: Let's have a baby!::What's Her Face: Let's kill someone off!::Strong Bad: [offscreen] Okay!::[everyone in the teen girl squad dies at once]

[the King of Peasantry is warning Rather Dashing against going after Trogdor, after he burninated his cottage]::The King of Peasantry: We have coexisted with the Burninator in this land for centuries. I can't have you marching up there in your short pants upsetting the balance!::Rather Dashing: I'll upset YOUR balance, milord!::The King of Peasantry: Rather Dashing, you will not sass back at this council!

Cheerleader: Okay, now let's start LOOKING GOOD!::So and So: A'ight.::The Ugly One: A'ight.::What's Her Face: A'ight.::[a robot zaps So and So]::Cheerleader: Kristen, you look burnt, or DEAD.::What's Her Face: I miss Kristin-a.

[Strong Mad is heard trying to leave Marzipan a prank phone call on her answering machine]::Strong Mad: Is your refrigerator running?::Strong Bad: [in background] I already told you that one doesn't work on answering machines, man!::Strong Mad: Is your refrigerator running?::Strong Bad: [in background] They gotta be home to answer the phone! Stop trying to do the prank call, man!::Strong Mad: Hello?::Strong Bad: [in background] It doesn't work!::Strong Mad: Hello? [He is heard banging the phone on the table until a dial tone is heard]

Bubs: [talking to Coach Z about Marzipan over her answering machine] Hey, Coach! Tell her I said, "Hey!" No, no, just tell her I said, "Bananas!" Tell her I said, "A bluh-buncha bananas."

Little Girl: [laughing] That sounds like funny.::Homestar Runner: It sounds like funny, but it's not.

Strong Sad: [when he sees Strong Bad kissing a piece of paper with The Ugly One on it] Uh, Strong Bad, were you just first-basin' it with that piece of loose leaf?

Homestar Runner: Sweet mother of mystery! What's going on here?::Strong Bad: Um... drinkin' drinks at the stick.::Homestar Runner: But what about looking at a thing in some bags?::Strong Bad: It escaped. Into the mountains.::Homestar Runner: Aw, shucks. I never got to see it.::Bubs: I thought you said you had!::Homestar Runner: I lied. I was trying to be a cool guy.::Bubs: Liar.

Strongbad_email.exe (2004)

Actors: Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Mike Chapman (actor), Matt Chapman (actor),

Genres: Animation, Comedy,
Taglines: The first hundred strong bad emails

Quotes:

Strong Bad: In the United States alone, someone checks their email every three seconds. This is one of them.

E-mail: Yo yo, Strong Bad! Are there any ghosts in Strongbadia? Your Favorite Cowboys, Josh, John & Doug Nashville, TN.::Strong Bad: Whoah. Took all three of ya to come up with that one, huh? You're some bright young men!

Strong Bad: Actually, David, it may surprise you to hear this but, uh... I don't know anything about fishing, man. You're welcome to try the jig thing if you want. Though it might work better with the ladies. You know, like, come on and come to my house, ladies! Come on and come to my house, girls girls! Actually, [chuckles shyly] I don't really know anything about the ladies either. I mean I do! I mean-WHGT! JGTH! YES I'M AWESOME! [runs away]

[Strong Bad has put Bubs and Coach Z's heads on each other's bodies]::Coach Z: [looking around for Strong Bad] Well, he's not here.::Bubs: Well, you better find him quick! This crap ain't funny!::Coach Z: I'd be hard-pressed to do *anything* quick in this train-wreck! What've ya been eatin', concrete?::Bubs: At least I don't have no clown feet. I can hardly walk in these things! [they walk off] Ronald McDonald, grumble, mumble...

The Ugly One: I have a crush on every boy!::[the Arrow'd Guy shoots arrows, impaling her]::Arrow'd Guy: ARROWED!::The Ugly One: OW! My skin!

Strong Bad: Hi everyone. Today it's time for some spring cleaning. Ready, go!::[reading]::Strong Bad: Dear Strong Bad, why do you hate homestar so much? He seems ok to me." hmm, I wonder how I should answer that?::[DELETED! appears on screen]::Strong Bad: DELETED!::[he calls up another email]::Strong Bad: Do you have secret crush with Marzipan? Steve, Sterling Va. Ah yes, now this is a question well worth my time and consideration!::[DELETED!]

E-mail: [with Strong Bad reading it] Dear Strong Bad, I just wondering, if you had the chance to make your town different, what would you you? Sincerley, Steven WV.::[Strong Bad pronounces "WV" as "Wolksvagen"]::Strong Bad: [typing] Pour hot soup in Homestar's eyes, eh, Steven? That sounds like a pretty good...::[stops typing]::Strong Bad: Wait, what did your e-mail say again?

Strong Mad: [to Strong Sad, who is high on caffeine and hanging from the ceiling] Get down!::Strong Sad: No!::Strong Mad: [shouts] Get down!::Strong Sad: No, no... Parakeet.::Strong Mad: [in shock] Did you just say "parakeet"?

Mike: Hi. [catches a football tossed to him] I'm Mike Chapman. People are all the time asking me, "Mike, how do you do the voices for those dumb animal characters on your website?", and I say, "I'm Mike. Matt does the voices."

Strong Bad: Uh, you don't really have to *make* Homestar say stupid stuff, Grumbles, that's the guy's bread n' butter. Or at least his, uh, cracker n' mustard.

The Lottery Lover (1935)

Actors: Alphonse Martell (actor), Edward J. Nugent (actor), Alan Dinehart (actor), Duke R. Lee (actor), Robert Graves (actor), Walter Woolf King (actor), Armand Kaliz (actor), Sterling Holloway (actor), Fred Cavens (actor), Dick Foran (actor), Lew Ayres (actor), Reginald Denny (actor), Gaston Glass (actor), Rolfe Sedan (actor), Albert Petit (actor),

Plot: A crew of young military-school cadets are enjoying their first weekend in Paris. Frank Harrington, a girl-shy cadet, wins the lottery which "They" have organized, an Frank wins the right to woo the star of the Folies Bergere, Gaby Aimee, with her garter serving as proof of conquest. Meanwhile Frank has found the one girl-of-his-heart, Patty, and this serves to complicate matters.

Keywords: 1930s, actress, american, archive-footage, barber-shop, bartender, butler, cadet, cancan-dance, champagne
Genres: Comedy, Music, Romance,