David Lubar

And let me be the first to wish all my conservative friends a happy 1946.

Alle that Ich want for Christmasse ys gigantique amountes of fundinge for the humanitees

Today, everyone is either shopping, baking, or Jewish.

Any time I see "Shia LaBeouf," my brain reflexively spits out "Clara Peller." Am I alone in this?

Well, this just about wraps up another fake War on Christmas. Same time next year, folks?

@MGMafioso Any dancing at all from this mob of flesh would be a surprise.

With all the Christmas cookies and candy, my body is turning into a flesh mob.

If you need last minute gift ideas, I can help you: buy books from indie bookstores.

Pope Francis declares, "All fake proclamations and Internet hoaxes given in my name are equally true."

TARGET offers 10% discount this weekend on all purchases to anyone showing birth certificate, driver's license, and social-security card.

Christmas better come soon. We are all out of @davidlubar, @DeborahFreedman, @ChristophrHealy. 1 copy of @Bartography. Oops, gone too.

@ellenyeomans @DeborahFreedman @ChristophrHealy @Bartography Book sellers are a writer's Christmas (or Hanukkah) present. Thank you.

It's nice waking up to an external fog for a change.

When my wife asks, "Would you like some eggs eggs on toast, drizzled with mushroom-basil olive oil?" I consider it a rhetorical question

Apparently, Phil Robertson will stop making duck-hunting accessories and go back to making Jim-Crow decoys.

@DelilahSDawson Try them on toast, drizzled with some truffle oil. Simple, but stunning.

No, you Duck Douche racist, you heard wrong. You have the right to freeze peach. But only if you own the peach. And the freezer.

I thought Defrock was Deepak's brother.

Based on mistaken 1st Amendment comments, I guess the far right doesn't read the Constitution any more closely than they read the Bible.

I guess part of Obama's legacy will be health care for all, a new stock-market high, and no invasions under false pretenses.