Adjust your sails this Valentine's Day: 7 Tips to get you thinking positively about February 14th
Posted by John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert on
It's coming around again! That tricky date in every single person's calendar: Valentine's Day, February 14th. Now for many singles, this is a day to get excited about. It's seen as the perfect opportunity for reaching out to a potential love interest and making your intentions known - a prompt for organising an amazing first date with someone new you've met online.But for other singles, Valentine's Day is a date to dread. It's an annual day that brings sadness, disappointment, anxiety and frustration. It's a day when your single status becomes a focus, when feelings of loneliness and uncertainty about the future can really settle upon you. Just to rub it in, everywhere you look you see happy couples carrying flowers, enjoying quality time together.
Well, if you're one of those singles that tends to get down and negative about Valentine's Day, it's time to remind yourself that "you can't change the wind, but you can adjust your sails." A negative mindset will not only make you feel low, it will seriously lower your chances of connecting with someone. Negativity is not an attractive vibe! Instead of waiting for this Valentines Day to hurry up and be over, make a commitment to doing things differently this year.
Follow these tips and get excited about the big day ahead.
1) Outline your strengths
The first place you need to start is your dating mindset. Think positively. Consider the question "what makes you so good at relationships?" and write down as many positives as you can. If you struggle with this, get a trusted friend to help you out. Then write down your Top 10 strengths and remind yourself of these every day.
2) Set some relationship goals
In an effort to strengthen this positive mindset, turn your attention to thinking about how you want to run your love life for the next 12 months. Answer these key questions and then share your answers with close friends so that they become real:
*What are the top 5 traits that you want from your ideal partner?
*What are the top 5 warning signs of the wrong types that you're going to avoid?
*What are you going to change about your dating approach moving forward?
3) Create a vision board
I realise this might sound a little cliché but it works! Having become clear about your ideal partner, find some magazines or get some images off the internet and make a vision board of him/her. Think about this person and visualize what you want. Think about them meeting your friends, having a romantic dinner together, traveling together etc. Whatever you want; find images for. Look at your board daily - you could even make it your screensaver on your phone. This is the person you're moving towards as Valentine's Day approaches.
4) Freshen up your online profile
With a clear picture of what you want from your ideal partner, take some time before Valentine's Day to look at your current online profile and freshen it up. That means posting new photos and adjusting your profile description to make sure you stand out and give exactly the right impression. Do some research on those profiles you like and adjust yours accordingly.
5) Get a make-over
You're on a roll now, being more positive and sending an energetic attitude out to the dating world. So keep this going by spending a little extra on reinvigorating your appearance. Depending on your budget, get yourself some new accessories to update up your wardrobe, buy some new outfits, have your hair done. It's time to look and feel great!
6) Organise a Date
All other singles out there will be thinking about Feb 14th and wondering how they're going to spend the day. Will they or won't they be on their own? So it's the perfect opportunity to leap in and show your hand. Ask someone out for Valentine's Day and have some fun. There's no need to feel pressure. You don't have to get married to this person - you're just going out and having a good time. Who knows where it might lead.
7) Plan your Valentine's Day
This is a big day that you can't avoid entirely. Everywhere you turn there will be red, heart-shaped balloons, chocolates, flowers and signs wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day! So prepare for it and plan how you want to spend the entire day. Gather up a group of your single friends and have a breakfast or lunch together. Maybe go to the gym or out to dinner. Whatever you decide put plenty of activities into your day and get excited about it!
John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert, as seen on Ch 9's series Married At First Sight, and the ABC doco Making Couples Happy. He is also the author of the book Making Couples Happy: How science can help get relationships back on track (www.johnaiken.com.au)
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