Guess Who (2005)

Actors: Zoe Saldana (actress), Al Cerullo (miscellaneous crew), Ashton Kutcher (actor), Carl Ciarfalio (actor), Betty Thomas (producer), Peter Tolan (writer), David Krumholtz (actor), Richard Lawson (actor), Archie Hahn (actor), Robert Curtis Brown (actor), Bernie Mac (actor), Richard T. Jones (actor), Mike Epps (actor), Jennifer Hamilton (miscellaneous crew), Ava DuVernay (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: Percy and Marilyn are renewing their vows for their anniversary, and their daughter Theresa brings her boyfriend Simon for them to meet. Unbeknownst to her parents, the kids plan to announce their engagement during the weekend. The Jones family is Black; Theresa neglects to tell them Simon is White. Race complicates Percy's general mistrust of any boyfriend, so he instigates an investigation of Simon, discovering he's recently lost his job and hasn't told Theresa. Mistrust rears its ugly head, and in the process of Theresa and Simon's argument, Marilyn and Percy fall out. What can the men do to cross the divide between each other and between men and women? Will anyone be exchanging vows?

Keywords: african-american, argument, bank, banking, bare-chested-male, bed, boxer-shorts, cart-racing, caucasian, dancing
Genres: Comedy, Romance,
Taglines: His house. His rules. Some in-laws were made to be broken. When he meets his future father-in-law, he may not have a future at all. Some in-laws were made to be broken. His daughter's Mr. Right just turned out to be... Mr. White.

Quotes:

Theresa: I was just showing Simon around the house.::Simon Green: You have a very nice house, Mrs. Jones.::Marilyn: Thank you, Simon. You can call me Marilyn.::Simon Green: You too, Mr. Jones.::Percy: Thank you, Simon. You can call me Mr. Jones. [Marilyn gives him a dirty look] Just kidding.

Simon Green: [on the phone, leaving a message] Babe, you're acting like I have cheated on you, and I have never cheated on you. Except for that one time, with myself, and you caught me.

Percy: I don't want to hear about you sleeping with my daughter - you're sleeping with me now.

Simon Green: [after telling black joke and family laughing] What are three things a black guy can't get? A black eye, a fat lip and a job.::[laughing stops]::Howard Jones: I tell ya I'm gonna kick that boy's ass!

Howard Jones: You didn't tell me he was white!::Percy: Yes, I did, back at the retirement home.::Howard Jones: I thought you was kidding.

Howard Jones: You don't hear me calling no white folks honky and flat-ass!::Percy: Casper.::Howard Jones: Cracker.::Percy: Ofay.::Howard Jones: Peckerwood.::Percy: Wonder bread.::Howard Jones: Bird shit.::Percy: Bird shit?::Howard Jones: Well, it's almost white.

Simon Green: That's just it, she's everything I'm not. You know, she's my other half. Without her I'm not whole. You know the thing about meeting your other half is you're walking around, you think you're happy, you think you're whole, then you realize you ain't shit without her. Then you can't go back to being just a half 'cause you know what it's like to be whole.

Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.::Simon Green: She's right?::Percy: That's right.::Simon Green: Always?::Percy: Right.::Simon Green: Right.::Percy: That's right.::Simon Green: All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?::Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.

Simon Green: Why can't black people listen to country music?::Keisha Jones: Why?::Simon Green: Because every time they say "hoe-down" they think their sister got shot!

Simon Green: [to Theresa] I wanna see your sexy body go BUMP, BUMP, BUMP!::Kimbra: Did he just say bump, bump, bump?::Naomi: Yes, he did, and it's Percy Jones' fault!

All That I Need (2005)

Actors: Julia Faye West (actress), Joshua Bevier (actor), Mike Stanley (actor), Darrell Mapson (actor), Brandon Gibson (actor), Annabella Gutman (actress), Joan Marlowe (actress), Tony Tarantino (actor), James Hergott (producer), James Hergott (writer), James Hergott (director), James Hergott (actor), Allie Moss (actress), James Hergott (editor), Katie Soo (actress),

Genres: Comedy, Drama,
Taglines: This Christmas, take a lesson in greed. Make the million yours this Christmas Money! Power! Greed! Don't chase rainbows, chase dreams. What do you need? The Million is Mine!

Quotes:

James: [to Ray-Lyn] I think your problem is that you get laid too much, I get laid too little, we're probably perfect for each other.

Angelo: I'm in the need for greed, let's make some money here.

James: So it's like kind of a porn thing?::Rae-Lyn: No, I wouldn't say that.::James: Well you have sex with toys and...::Rae-Lyn: Yes, but it's not porno, 'cause it's not sex.

Judge Cole Stevens: [during presentation] I just want you to know that I am a judge, and this is totally legal.

Tom: Yeah, no job, no credit, no problem. I can get you in with J hawk financial, write it into the deal.

Tom: [to Kevin] If you don't shut the f*&% up, I'm going to take you upstairs and give you the rhino horn right now!

James: This isn't a pyramid.

Scott: Is the tax system mandatory?::Tony Shannon- IRS CI: Most people think it is.::Scott: But is it?::Tony Shannon- IRS CI: No, its voluntary.

Tristan James: [standing next to Last Call] There's two assholes here, and one's standing right next to me.

Rae-Lyn: I love this car so much. I want to do something special for you... [goes to give James a Blow Job]::James: [Rae-Lyn pukes] I can't believe you puked in my fucking viper!

Circuit Riders (2005)

Actors: Brooke Lewis (actress), Brooke Lewis (producer), Johnny Williams (actor), Jack Brand (actor), Jack Jozefson (actor), Ryan Spahn (actor), Tracy Weisert (actress), Gina St. John (actress), Velvet Rhodes (actress), Jeff G. Peters (composer), Kimbra Westervelt (actress), Denise Smith (producer), Nancy Sexton (composer), Rob McCarthy (producer), Rob McCarthy (director),

Plot: CIRCUIT RIDERS is a wicked spoof of the controversial pay-to-audition acting workshops. In what Daily Variety called "one of Hollywood's best kept dirty little secrets," struggling actors continue to pay thousands of dollars per year to be seen by film and television casting directors, all in the hope of landing that one-line "he-went-that-a-way! role on television. CIRCUIT RIDERS spares no one, taking a poke at actors and casting directors alike. We follow Lori Horhind, assistant casting director for a hot new television series "Malibu Surfer Cops." Lori gives an "educational" workshop to some grizzled character actors, along with a few first-time actors just off the bus. Lori, a failed actress herself, but now on a power trip, learns a bitter truth as she rides the casting director "circuit." CIRCUIT RIDERS is a comedy that makes a point.

Genres: Comedy, Short,
Taglines: Everyone has their point of leaving...