Team America: World Police (2004)
Actors:
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Maurice LaMarche (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
David Michie (actor),
Daran Norris (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Trey Parker (actor),
Plot: The North American anti-terrorist force Team America attacks a group of terrorist in Paris. Later, the leader of the organization, Spottswoode, invites the famous Broadway actor Gary Johnston to join his world police and work undercover in Cairo in a terrorist organization and disclose their plan of destroying the world. The Team America destroy the cell of terrorists, but then the Panama Canal is attacked by the criminals as a payback. Gary feels responsible for the death of many innocents and leaves the counter-terrorism organization. When the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Il, joins a group of pacifist actors and actresses with the intention of using weapons of massive destruction, the Team America tries to avoid the destruction of the world.
Keywords: 2000s, actor, airplane-accident, altered-version-of-studio-logo, american, anal-sex, animal-attack, anti-arab, arab, arab-stereotype
Genres:
Action,
Adventure,
Comedy,
Music,
Taglines: Putting The "F" Back In Freedom. Freedom Hangs By A Thread.
Quotes:
Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".::Intelligence: [pause] Yes, there is.
Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.::Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock.
Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.::Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...::Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.::Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.
Spottswoode: Go get'em, cowboy.
Chris: All right, we fuckin' did it.
Spottswoode: Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails.
Lisa: Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
Kim Jong Il: I was sent from pranet Xiron to conquer the Earf / I had a twiffic pran - I thought it would work / I tried to get the Earfrings all to kill each other, y'see / But it all went wrong and now I must decree / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You have faiwred in every way / and now my stock in you has fawren / Your career is stawrin' / and you're worthress Arec Barrwin / That's why I brew your head off / And your chirdren are all bawrin' / Pranet Xiron is inhabited with Xipods rike me / But arso with Balmacs who are giant bees / The Xipods and the Balmacs are at constant war / So we wanted a new home and that's what Earf was for / But you are worthress Arec Barrwin / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You fucked up my whole plan / and now Xiron is smeared with Balmac porren / Your garbage needs some hawring / and you're worthress Arec Barrwin / Now I must return home a faiwrure / I'm afraid the pit of Cryrock is cawrin'.
Kim Jong Il: You are worthress, Arec Barrwin!
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Actors:
Mark Hamill (actor),
Ben Affleck (actor),
Paul Dini (actor),
Ben Affleck (actor),
Jason Biggs (actor),
Diedrich Bader (actor),
Will Ferrell (actor),
Paul Dini (actor),
George Carlin (actor),
Wes Craven (actor),
Matt Damon (actor),
Matt Damon (actor),
William B. Davis (actor),
Zak Knutson (actor),
Jamie Kennedy (actor),
Plot: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is a tale of adventure on the open road. When Dante and Randal (of Clerks fame) get a restraining order to keep the punchy Jay and his hetero life-mate, Silent Bob, from selling drugs in front of the Quick Stop convenience store, their lives are suddenly empty. They find new purpose when their friend, Brodie, informs them a movie is being made featuring two infamous characters based on their likenesses. After visiting one of the creators of the Bluntman and Chronic, Holden McNeil, they set out to get what fat movie cash they deserve and hopefully put an end to people slandering them on the Internet. Along the way, they learn the rules of the road from a hitchhiking George Carlin, ride with a group of gorgeous jewel thieves, and incur the wrath of a hapless wildlife marshal for liberating an orangutan named Suzanne. The quest takes them from New Jersey to Hollywood where a showdown involving the police, the jewel thieves, and the Bluntman and Chronic filmmakers will decide the fate of Suzanne, Jay, Silent Bob, and their good names.
Keywords: 1970s, 2000s, angel-on-shoulder, animal-abuse, animal-experimentation, bitch, braces, breaking-the-fourth-wall, burglary, c4-explosives
Genres:
Comedy,
Taglines: Hollywood had it coming Someone is making their life story into a movie, and they haven't been paid. So they're on their way to Hollywood to get even. Scooping the Money! Scooping the Monkey Strike Back... August 24th 2001
Quotes:
Jay: Yo lunchbox, hurry it up.
Sissy: Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a fucking drag.
Jay: I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck::[referring to Silent Bob]::Jay: , none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.
Whillenholly: Fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass.::Sheriff: One rectal breach comin' up.
Holden: If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.::Jay: What buzz?::Holden: The Internet buzz.::Jay: What the fuck is the Internet?::Holden: The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
Banky: Stop the movie? What are you, crazy?::Jay: All these assholes on the internet are calling us names because of this stupid fucking movie.::Banky: That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously. Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that.::Jay: This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker.::Banky: You know what? I feel for you boys, I really do, but Miramax - you know, Miramax Films - paid me a shitload of money for Bluntman and Chronic. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website, is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN!::Silent Bob: Oh, but I think it is... We had a deal with you, on the comics remember, for likeness rights, and as we're not only the artistic basis, but also obviously the character basis, for your intellectual property, Bluntman and Chronic. When said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky, you are in breach of the original contract, ergo you find yourself in a very actionable position.::Jay: Yeah.
Tricia Jones: [on "Bluntman and Chronic: The Movie"] Well! That was just another paean to male adolescence and its refusal to grow up.::Alyssa Jones: Yeah, sis. But it was better than "Mallrats". At least Holden had the good sense to leave his name off of it.::Tricia Jones: Why didn't Miramax option his other comic instead. You know, the one about you and him and your "relationship"?::Alyssa Jones: Oh, "Chasing Amy"? That would never work as a movie.
Jay: Do they say who's fuckin' playing us in the movie?::Holden: No, but it's Miramax. So I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They put those guys in a bunch of movies.::Jay: Who?::Holden: You know, those kids from Good Will Hunting?::Jay: You mean that fuckin' movie with Mork from Ork in it?::Holden: Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either... but Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms".::Jay: Word, bitch, Phantoms like a motherfucker.
Jay: Affleck, you the *bomb* in Phantoms yo!
Chaka's Production Assistant: [after asked to get a new clean latte] Here's your coffee sir, booger-free.::Chaka Luther King: [slaps it out his hands] Get that shit the fuck out of here.