This is comedian
Billy Eichner's version of
Jay Z's hit song
Empire State of Mind.
Featuring the hilarious
Rachel Dratch (
Saturday Night Live) as
Alicia Keys!!!
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Lyrics are below!
Lyrics by Billy Eichner
Produced by
ETC. Productions (opensourcecomedy.net)
Music Mixed and Recorded by
Quinn Raymond
Guest vocals by Amy
Albert
Lyrics:
I was born in
Forest Hills
To a
Jewish yenta
Had my circumsicion
Forest hills jewish center
Dad got a discount
Taught me to finagle
They cut the skin off my penis
While they ate bagels
and when I grew up
I learned to play the tuba
And baby you can tell by penis
Im not from cuba
Forced to play little league
Even though I hated it
And when I watched spice on pay per view
I masterbated it
Hated playing sports
I preferred the mall
Youre not good at basketball
Just because youre tall!
Strutting down
71st and continental
they made me get bar mitzvahd
as if I was yentl
loved playing clue
hated playing yahtzee
ironically my rabbi
was a bar mitzvah nazi
so I got bar mitzvahd
and though I didnt wanna
the theme of my bar mitzvah party
was
Madonna!
chorus
in forest hills
concrete jungle where dreams are made of
theres nothing you cant do
when youre in forest hills
the city lights will inspire you
upper middle class jews
walk around forest hills, forest hills, forest hills
rosh Hashanah
I went to museums
And the planetarium
I was the toughest motherfucker
At the aquarium
Walking down queens blvd
Scared of the traffic ah
Only 8 year old sneaking in to out of
Africa
hung out with my aunt joyce
she was like my art coach
we would go see foreign movies
starring julliette binoche
we saw my left foot
starring
Daniel day lewis
to me, my aunt joyce
was such an influential jewess
fed me prune hamentashen
fed me prune danish
why the fuck did everything
have to have a prune in it?
little kosher hot dogs
nothing nutricious
and you know theres nothing as delicious
as knishes
I would go to broadway shows
I was all around town
and sometimes I stayed at home
watched
Murphy brown
in forest hills
concrete jungle where dreams are made of
you can watch Murphy brown
when youre in forest hills, forest hills
(give it up for Murphy brown, yo)
you know theres nothing you cant do
upper middle class jews
walk around forest hills, forest hills forest hills
(sometimes I would make a poop in
Barnes and Noble)
then I went to
Stuyvesant
felt so much pressure
to become a big success
like fran drescher
standin on the e train
listening to vocals
but if I wanted to sit
Id stay on the local
yeah I studied real hard
learned self reliance
and I shot a bunch of geeks
down at
Bronx Science
the kids at Stuyvesant
were nerdy and zitty
they make the kids on glee
look like the cast of new jack city
I moved out of forest hills
Goodbye shlomos
I live in manhattan
with all the other homos
but
I go back to forest hills
and think about the childhood I had
now look at me as a baby with my dad!
In forest hills -
concrete jungle where dreams are made of
theres nothing you cant do
when youre from forest hills
the city lights will inspire you
Upper middle class jews
Over in forest hills, forest hills, forest hills
One hand in the air for forest hills
Lots of women with furs and diet pills
No place in the world that can compare
Lots of old
Russian ladies that are shaped like a pear, like a pear
Like a pear, Like a pear!
In forest hills
Concrete jungles where dreams are made of
People shaped like pears
When youre from forest hills, forest
The streets will make you feel brand new
Upper middle class
Jews
Walk around Forest Hills, Forest Hills, Forest Hills
- published: 17 Jan 2010
- views: 267354