Pathetic Jeb! Muses About Mooning New Hampshire Crowd

Pathetic Jeb! Muses About Mooning New Hampshire Crowd
Donn Marten

Was he joking or not? The slow motion train wreck that is the John Ellis Bush campaign continues to unfold on the eve of the critical – at least for Mr. Bush – New Hampshire primary. The Bush family brand, once as good as it got in Republican politics isn’t selling anymore with conservatives who are as mad as hell and not going to take it anymore from a party machine that continues to trot out a parade of lame cookie cutter losers the likes of John McCain and Mitt Romney. Poor Jebbie, rejected by the people and stabbed in the back by his own ambitious young protégé Marco Rubio, he desperately needs to find a way to not be embarrassed in Tuesday’s Granite State primary. So in a typically whiny interview with the Boston Globe the wimpy Jeb! mused about dropping his pants onstage and mooning the crowd to get attention.

As reported by the Globe in the story “In New Hampshire, Jeb Bush is searching for a comeback”:

Sitting on his campaign bus — laptop, turkey jerky, and coffee all nearby — Jeb Bush was befuddled over his campaign’s failure to capture more attention from the news media.

“I could drop my pants,” he said in an interview. “Moon the whole crowd. Everybody would be aghast, except the press guys would never notice.”

Bush is entering the final days of his last stand, and hints of exasperation are leaking through his cheerful, stoic demeanor. Without a major comeback in New Hampshire on Tuesday, or, absent that, a Bush miracle in South Carolina later this month, he will face increasing pressure to bow out of the race.

Bush’s problems are infinitely greater than the bored “press guys” staring at their smartphones in the back of his town hall gatherings. It’s the tectonic shifts in the Republican Party. It’s the voters, with their white-hot anger at the status quo. It’s his family name. It’s him.

Bush began a year ago at the helm of a steamship of a campaign, with all the advantages that his family pedigree, corporate political money, and establishment backing conferred. But now, just a few days before the New Hampshire vote, he seems like he’s alone in a rowboat, furiously pushing against the current.

Bush and his aides say he could still bounce back here. In quiet conversations at the Concord Courtyard Marriott, they seize on any bit of good news and hope for a breakthrough moment they hope that New Hampshire — with its history of primary night surprises — can deliver.

But if things don’t work out that way, the failures of Bush’s quest to extend the family dynasty could serve as a crushing referendum on the mainstream Republican establishment.

Never mind that the candidate did his damnedest to distance himself from his family surname – note the “Jeb!” logo that has now become the object of much scorn and mockery. Recent days have seen Mr. Bush calling in his mommy to help attack mean old Donald Trump and his infamous brother Dubya is also being dragged out in a last ditch effort to salvage the Bush restoration. Say what you will about “43” about his uncanny ability to fuck up a two car funeral but he was a vastly superior politician who was able to connect with ordinary voters in a way that Jeb! will ever be able to. Ironically the long-awaited window of opportunity for him to have gotten back into the race just opened with Robo Rubio imploding during Saturday’s debate but alas the gap is too great to be closed at this point.

Jeb! needs to just go ahead and pull the plug now before he brings further embarrassment upon himself and his family.

2016
Donn Marten

Donn Marten is a libertarian critic of corrupt, entrenched power and the civil liberties destroying police state that protects it.

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