PISSE

Two killer demos one one killer tape. The third freakout weirdo release from Germany's PISSE, Kohlrübenwinter is such a gloriously chilled out approach to a particularly appealing brand of outsider punk, and it is predictably a favorite at TEHQ. The general vibe is ultra '80s new wave, but the approach is still punk, and it still has teeth. The stomper "Schwätzer" takes the caketape for this listener, but there are zero legitimate bummers contained on this cassette...you know you like this shit, so dig in. 

KOHLRÜBENWINTER

GURR

This GURR band from Berlin had me hooked from the first note. Andreya's vocals are the first thing the reel you in, and her shrill wails that lead into the chorus of "Super Tired" make it very clear that this outfit is not one to be fukkd with. Hyper infectious dark (but peppy) garage jams with songs that stopped me in my tracks like few things I've heard (DASHER comes to mind, however), the shit is just right. A weird amalgamation of GORILLA ANGREB and DEAD MILKMEN and LOST SOUNDS....it rules. Period. And "Hey My Friend" is like the "Couldn't (If I Tried)" for the new millennium, and if you know what that means then you fukkn know what I'm talking about. 

GURR

FCKR

It's like this tape bridges decades inside my mind. On the one hand it is a brilliant recreation of classic German punk - I hear shadows of SLIME, BLUT+EISEN, IDEAL and a host of '80s DeutschPunk and Neue Deutschte Welle acts....but these fukkrs (or, "fckrs" if you prefer) sound like themselves in the most perfect way. Jerky FRANZ FERDINAND guitars, sharp and angular song structures - perfectly crafted songs that are, at their base, simply brilliant pop songs. Classify the shit how you like, most modern dolts would file under "post punk" or "indie," but I choose to file under "shit I really like a LOT." So figure that shit out....or, better yet, just listen.

SCHWEINE

There's more FCKR....and I highly recommend that you shove as much FCKR as you can into your earholes. Your earholes will thank you.

ALPTRAUM GmbH

I'm open to information, here, and I'm guessing pretty much any fan of outsider anarcho punk would be eager to know more as well. Shrill (uhhh, that's an understatement) vocals and challenged UK influenced sounds from (I presume) late '80s West Germany. Sometimes bordering on inept, but sometimes that's what makes the shit work, ya dig? There are only three tracks here - maybe that's all you need.....? Or maybe you're going to spend the rest of your day (week_ trying to figure out what planet this demo came from.

JULY '88 DEMO

HELLTRAIN

On the 2009 MALACHI European tour we rolled up to a frigid show in Stuttgart (it was January, every show was frigid) to find that we were the only band on the bill....and we were early. When you have time to kill and an empty room to use...things happen. Marek (INSUICIETY, MÖNSTER, many more) was on tour with us, and that fool hits the drums real good, so we started a band with him on drums, me on bass and John and Dathan playing guitar. No vocals...we figured that we would just figure that part out at the last minute. The "last minute" turned into drafting a stranger who wandered in from the bar as we were using our soundcheck time to create our new band. Dude ran through it once and then it was showtime. Four songs, probably not more than eight riffs total, and I bet at least three of them are just open E. We named the band HELVETE-something-or-other, that I remembered translating to "HELLTRAIN," but it was a long time ago and the beginning of the tape is tough to make out. Six minutes total, including in intermission that was apparently us just hanging out on the stage as if there was no one in the room. Interested labels get in touch.

Formerly Known As: BEWARE OF THE DOGS

John and I did the same thing with a different drummer/roadie at an ill-attended ARTIMUS PYLE gig in Cesena, Italy in 2003. Would love a copy of that set, because Jensen was a mean ass front man..

ERFURT70

Got this banger in the mail from my pal Søren last week...I was chuffed that he thought of me, since we've been out of touch for some time, but I was floored when I popped it in the deck. Full throttle, maximum intensity hardcore, and his vocals are perhaps even more intense than they were in THE NOW DENIAL (note: we met in 2003 when ARTIMUS PYLE and THE NOW DENIAL shared a couple of weeks in Europe, and this seems an appropriate time to remind you that 2007's Mundane Lullaby is as close to perfect modern hardcore record as you will ever find). I suppose it wouldn't be far off to say that ERFURT70 is a logical musical progression, but the power here is worth far more than a casual "yeah, sounds like the dude's old band" and tracks like "Knees" just explode out of the deck. Check the guitars on "Rutsche" and then get ready for the mosh that drops at 0:51. Oh yeah. 

ERFURT70

Physical copies from the nice folks at Sabotage Records, a label I recommend visiting  and supporting....and not just because they released records by my band(s). 

CUNTROACHES

THIS. Complete overload, complete mania. Total aural blitzkrieg. Noisier than your band, and more fukkn guts than just about anyone can muster, even in their wildest dreams. After the churning brain melt of "Scum Parole," to roll right into the drum beat (so simple, so out of place, so perfect) that starts "Hard Stool," and then to just torture the shit out of that beat with low end and feedback before descending into relentless and monotonous bursts of chaos. Ugh. This Berlin trio is every kind of awesome. More please - NOW!

CUNTROACHES

Also, the bass player is named Suckles.

DØRTEBEKER

Leave it to the Germans to figure out how to make melodic punk sound dark and brooding, even while it's fast and energetic. This thing is executed flawlessly, and while those afeared of a solid hook will want to steer clear, the rest of us will be repeatedly rewarded with eight addictive anthems...time to brush up on your German, punks. "Zwölf" is the banger of choice - highlighting the possibilities held within simple construction, with gruff backing vocals accenting the forceful leads. Champion. 

DØRTEBEKER

MAFFICKS

I genuinely love the fact that there are so many of these to unearth. Countless bands that have flown under the radar for ages, forgotten by advancing time and changing winds, perhaps never known by anyone outside of their geographic area, perhaps never known to anyone at all. Maybe MAFFICKS don't fall into any of these categories, maybe I just missed them, but popping this late '80s cassette into the deck last week was my first introduction. A mix of D-Punk and era-appropriate DC with more than compelling guitar work and earnest vocals, these are five tracks that will likely not change anyone's world, and that's OK....because it's all a part of the hunt.

MAFFICKS

ALPINIST

Every time I think this brand of hardcore faded away, I hear a new band belting out heavy and (almost too) slick hard hitting and (sometimes too) melodic jams and the shit is so gloriously on point that it reminds you why every band in Europe wanted to sound like TRAGEDY in the '00s. ALPINIST was the band that did that too me a few years ago when I saw them in Oakland - they just nailed it, and they sounded like their own thing instead of a clone. Interludes like the title track/s for LichtLærm make the rest of their attack hit so much harder, and there's a bit of MODERN LIFE IS WAR style power in the mix ("Yarncarrier And Break," for example). This act should be old news to many visitors here, but I've listened to these records enough recently that I felt it only fair to dig this baby up and share. Two records on one cassette, Minus.Mensch and LichtLærm from 2010 and 2011, respectively...twenty tracks of fist pounding, emotional, neocrust of the highest order, and the drummer is really fukkn good.

LICHTLÆRM // MINUS.MENSCH

GEGEN NAZIS IN DER DDR

Lots of live shit, lots of bands you've never heard of. Raw and essential German punk blasts spanning 1982-1990 are going to fill the next ninety minutes of your life. Some of these sounds will thrill you. UMSTUM IM KINDERZIMMER, SANDOW, VAUSX, MULLSTATION, and SONNENHRILLE are my personal faves, but everything here was new to me aside from SCHLEIM KEIM, which made the whole thing a great listen. Some of the sound quality leaves a bit to be desired....deal with it.

GEGEN NEONAZIS IN DER DDR

RUIDO DE ODIO // QÜALGOIST

German shit-fi noisecore meets shit-fi noisecore from Ecuador. RUIDO DE ODIO have a lengthy discography, mostly splits and extremely limited releases, but their 1995 debut release is a 27 track monolith in the world of Sounds That Should Not Be. Nonsensical and incongruous grinding garbage. Germany's QÜALGOIST make even less of an attempt to portray themselves as anything other than pure noise. No structure aside from the banal disco snippets dropped in seemingly at random and the maniacal screams that signify the start of several tracks. You still reading? Then you will eat this shit for lunch. The rest of you....? I would avoid this one, it's for purists.

QÜALGOIST // RUIDO DE IDIO

And yes, I know that's Hitler. 

MASTERS OF EAR DESTRUCTION

Super tripped out German avant metalpunk from sometime in the late '80s (I'm guessing). The first track conjures serious Japanese thoughts (and thoughts of the highest echelon, if you know what I mean), and then the tape stands up and just kicks you in the ass. If there were a genre called "outsider thrash," then MOED would be the flag bearers, just super fukkn weird and manic crossover mania with songs like "Suck My Dick (your)," "Where's The Meat...." and "Fucking East." I have rarely listened to a band that gave a smaller fuck than these monkeys seem to give, and of course that's a quality that I appreciate and celebrate,. Get weird, my monkeys. 

REAL SHIT

ROTZLÖFFEL

Maybe some of you people can educate me here, because I had never heard of ROTZLÖFFEL before this tape compilation fell into my lap. Apparently, while it seemed like every German band I knew was cranking out thunderous metalcore, these punks were bashing out gloriously off the rails Deutsch Punk played...so pogo your asses off, and someone tell me how I completely missed this band. 16 tracks from a self released LP from 1997 (that I now need), and seven more from the following year.

ROTZLÖFFEL

PROTODOOM

Brad Misanthropic made this tape for the Milwaukee Mix Tape Exchange in the early '00s, and it's still a regular jammer around TEHQ. An insane collection of crushing '70s heavy rock from an A-List of collector nerd fodder. If you aren't familiar with SEOMPI, DARK, ICECROSS, DIES IRAE, WICKED LADY, BUM (pre- IRON MAIDEN), POOBAH....well, today is your lucky day. A few slightly better known heavyweights are included as well (MAY BLITZ, HIGH TIDE, Brasil's MODULO 1000, T2, JERONIMO), but these are "well known" to freaks and mutants and afficionado more than your average punker. Can't even stress how much this tape jams, listen to the BULLETPROOF track repeatedly. You're welcome.

PROTODOOM

DEATH IN ACTION

These Germans dished out three full lengths on We Bite, but it should come as no surprise that this 1987 demo smokes all of them (several of these tracks appear in a more polished form on DEATH IN ACTION's 1988 debut Toxic Waste). Off the rails crossover thrash metal, all the screws tightened just right. Musical similarities to S.O.D. but there's a clear UK punk sensibility and something distinctly German that I can't quite put my finger on. Furthermore, unless you listen to the first DIE KREUZEN LP today, then the time change in "God, Where Are You?" is going to be the highlight of your waking hours. 

VEINS OF FEAR

BEACH GHETTO UNICORNS

This one is kinda tough to nail down - vaguely Deutsch, heavy on the party punk end of things, super catchy...and fukkn weird. Hyper energetic and definitely too melodic for some, but there's something exceptionally engaging about this German duo. Simultaneously dour and the life of the party, BEACH GHETTO UNICORNS have, if nothing else, succeeded in releasing a ridiculous cassette. And that's not nothing.

FRISKIER BENEFITS

ON ON ON

The wise among you will recall the debut offering from ON ON ON that appeared on The Escape last you, and you will rejoice upon seeing their sophomore effort on this page today. On the one hand, 28 Children Songs For Wasted Adults has a touch more structure than the interplanetary outsider punk of the previous tape, but rest assured that ON ON ON are still coming at you from a place you don't understand. Jerky post/art punk that will swing like early B-52S for a minutes and then devolve into CRASS-esque arhythmic marches. Guitar/drums/organ and vocals spitting from all directions with a sharp DeutschPunk tongue, these women grab your attention first, and deal with the nuances later. Simple tracks like "Lazy" and "Die Stanze" both clock in well under 60 seconds (like most of the songs here) and are act like bridges from one burst of weirdness to the next. Sometimes they might be impossible to groove to, but equally impossible to turn away from. Tongue firmly in cheek and without a hint of pretense, this trio just plopped another winner in your lap..

28 CHILDREN SONGS FOR WASTED ADULTS

Trim Tab Tapes does not disappoint, and will happily provide you with physical copies. And while you're at it, you should probably just go ahead and snag that CAT 'N GUYEN tape since you probably missed it last time around.

HURE

The freaks at Trim Tab Tapes in Germany are consistently interesting....and pretty consistently awesome too. HURE squeeze out twenty minutes of mind altering sound on this tape - waves of distorted percussion crash repeatedly at your feet while a guitar embarks on an exercise in repetition, single notes looped to the point of insanity. Vocals are more like ominous shadows, lurking in and hovering around the complete cacophony of the whole demonstration. Even a casual listen will result in mental exhaustion.

HURE

CAT 'N GUYEN

You can leave your preconceptions at the door and start digging these tunes immediately. Imagine Detroit House injected with Riot Grrl energy. It's weird as shit, yes, but Germany's CAT 'N GUYEN are solid fukkn gold in the "improbable success" department - when was the last time you sang along with lyrics about masturbating on the red carpet? (.....exactly). "Alone In 4 Walls" and "Onions" are my personal choice tracks, but this shit is on it's own planet and it is a place I would love to visit. Get weir, my friends....get weird.

SHINYHIPHOPDEATHFUCK

Trim Tab Tapes released this shit...support them