Learn High Pressure Sales Tactics From Master Grannie Saleswomen If you're not familiar, the Akha are a nomadic tribal group that is spread out all over the northern South East Asian countries. Namely, Thailand, Myanmar, Laos, and Yunnan China. They are most well known for their colorful and ornate headdresses and costumes which the women wear to display their familial status and rank. Nowadays, in Thailand at least, most of the Akha don't wear their traditional costume, instead opting to don the western influenced close which have swept out the old style. So, it's a real treat to see a headdress being worn, even if it's just for show. I really do think they are exquisite and I can appreciate anything that's handmade or represents a tradition that maybe endangered and dying. Most tourists to the North of Thailand, and who want to see the Akha, end up taking an expensive tour with a group to trek into the villages and maybe stay over night. Two years, ago I had a bad experience in this regard and said, "never again"! My mother was visit from Texas and we were in Chiang Mai together. A dear family friend, Roy Hamrick, recommended his guide to take us to see the tribes, who was in fact, a very kind man. This guide, assured us that my mother, who was not trekker, would be able take this tour in stride. Describing it as a gentle walk through nature, communing and experiences mountain village life in a utopian kaleidoscope of whimsy and unicorn frolicking. The pickup truck picked us up at around 7 am and off we went... to cram in 10 other chic Europeans for chatting and a round about 3 hours tour through Chiang Mai traffic. When we picked up the last of our group, it was noon and we were one block away from our guesthouse. Amazing! So off we went into the wilds. Another hour later, we were herded onto a bamboo mat in the wash room back area of someones house for plates of delicious plain noodle. By 3pm, I had gotten a little antsy, and I was complaining. "Don't worry!!! We are on the way" As the sun was going down over the majestic mountain, we began our expedition. I expected an easy-breezy covergirl walk, as described. However, we were going straight up the mountain now. My flip flops proved useless and I had to go barefoot, carrying our pink princess tote from the night market / inadequate. Mom, wasn't doing so good. She was a bit surprised, as well as I, at the amount of exertion that was required to go up the side of the mountain. She had to sit down for a minute and vomit, and the guide was very kind to stay back with us. Suddenly, screaming. Mom thought "rebels", I surmised a snake attack. However, it was the bees. Hundreds and hundred of angry mountain bees were attacking our group and the three members in the front were screaming and desperately trying to fend them off. To no avail. Mom and I hid behind a log and covered ourselves with our sweaters and hid. The bees did not find us. So, three of our group were stung over 100 times in every place imaginable and mom and I trekked over to the nearest village, hopped in the pickup, said goodbye and saw them to the nearest hospital. Prologue: I saw a couple of our group the next night near the lady bars. I asked about the rest of the trek. Apparently, we didn't miss much. They saw one village, no costumes, no frills. They slept on mats that night with a very thin blanket, and near freezing temperatures. The next day was the elephant ride. The elephant sprayed the girl with its dung from the river, a frothy fecal mixture coating from head to toe. Consider yourself warned. From this lesson, I learned that I never want to go on another tour unless it's free and absolutely necessary. So, instead of paying 50-100 dollars for a village tour offered at the guesthouse, my new friend Maelle and I rented a motorbike for 6$ and went on our way. We asked the motorbike dealer where to go and he pointed us into the right direction. We stopped of an Akha village made of palm and bamboo and met a really nice lady who didn't speak much Thai but was very welcoming to her home as she was preparing some palm leaves for the roof. Next, as we were driving we were lucky to see an Akha tourist (trap) market. So, we stopped off and were for a while, transported to a very aggressive shopping situation. I'm a sucker for old ladies, what can I say?, so I ended up buying everything. Maelle was a bit traumatized by the high pressure sale tactics, however I got some amazing pieces of handmade tribal ornamentation. Success! I love motorbike tours! Joe Reports from Chiang Rai!

• published: 11 Mar 2014
• views: 253