Oh yeah,
In a? I was running behind
I had a load on my trailer and a lot on my mind
And I was rocking, rolling cross the USA
I got stoned this morning but I haven't had a drink all day
Pulled into Arizona about a hundred (?)
When a smokey bear shot me with his radar gun
He said ‘you're drunk son'
Yeah there ain't no way
I got stoned this morning but I haven't had a drink all day
This gal pal I found didn't bother a soul
Gave a pretty girl a ride to a watering hole
And she thanked me
And I pulled her off the interstate
She said ‘I got stoned this morning but I haven't had a drink all day'
(?) Amarillo like a wild west wind
Stopped in Oklahoma City just to see an old friend
What's up cous', he said ‘I'm OK' yeah
I got stoned this morning but I haven't had a drink all day
Let's drive
Got home to Little Rock about 3am
My baby met me at the door with a bottle in her hand
‘Good to see my man, let's celebrate' yeah
I got stoned this morning but I haven't had a drink all day
I got stoned this morning but I haven't had a drink all day
(Toby Keith/Scott Emerick)
My buddy said his girlfriend is as pretty as can be.
He said: "Help a brother out tonight,
"An' come double date with me."
"She's got a baby sister and they're headed into town.
"An' they're lookin' for a good time,
"They're fun to be around."
I said what do she look like?
He scratched his head and stated:
"She was a home comin' football queen before she graduated.
"We'll wine and dine and do 'em fine,
"An' really double date 'em.
"Then take 'em back to the Motel Six an' try to seperate 'em."
An' they showed up in a pick up truck:
They were right on time.
His was kinda hefty,
But not half as big as mine.
I'm runnin' block: turn the lights down low.
Runnin' block: don't want no one to know,
That I tried to drink her skinny,
But she's still about 215,
Sometimes you got to bow up
And take one for the team.
She cleaned her plate at dinner,
Then she ate what's left of mine.
Then she wolfed down a big cheesecake,
As I drank all the wine.
She strolled out to the patio for an after dinner cig:
I said: "Bro' you've done her this time and are gonna owe me big."
You know why?
'Cause my brother's havin' a party.
Thought you oughta know.
He's got co-eds swimmin naked:
Reason I can't go.
I'm runnin' block: turn the lights down low.
Runnin' block: sure don't want no one to know,
That I tried to drink her skinny,
But she's still about 215,
Sometimes you got to bow up
Just take one for the team.
(Now bow up boys.)
When we got back to the motel,
I kicked up my feet.
Then she put me in a headlock, said: "Snuggle up with me."
My buddy finished early an when he walked through the door,
I was layin' there half naked,
She had me pinned down to the floor.
Son, I can't believe you caught me,
This big ol' jelly roll.
You can laugh at me tomorrow,
But you can't ever tell a soul.
That I'm runnin' block: turn the lights down low.
Runnin' block: don't want no one to know,
That I tried to drink her skinny,
But she's still about 215,
Sometimes you got to bow up
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight
They know that Santa Claus is on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
Every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly
And so, I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety two
Although it's been said, many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
And so, I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety two
Although it's been said, many times, many ways
Why'd you have to wear that dress this evening
And those high heels with those buckles on your feet?
I love the way your hair falls down across your shoulders
But you ain't gonna hear that from me
You got my heart racing like a freight train
Wishin' you and me were somewhere else
I know how good it's gonna be when we get to where we're goin'
Think I'd better keep it to myself
'Cause baby, I can't tell you what I'm thinking
I've had way too much to drink tonight
Oh, this is where I usually say something out of line
Just be glad that right now you can't read my mind
Every time we dance we're getting closer
And I'd like too say a thing or two about it
But trust me you don't wanna get me talkin'
I'm better off just dancin' all around it
'Cause baby, I can't tell you what I'm thinking
I've had way too much to drink tonight
Oh, this is where I usually say something out of line
Just be glad that right now you can't read my mind
'Cause baby I can't tell you what I'm thinking
I've had way too much to drink tonight
Oh, this is where I usually say something out of line
Just be glad that right now you can't read my mind
Oh, the road to love is paid with good intentions
Just be glad that right now you can't read my mind
