Sam & Mark’s Big Christmas Wind Up
6pm, CBBC
Knockabout laughs from the charismatic Sam and Mark, a double act who know how to hold a kids’ TV show together. Their Christmas extravaganza features crooners the Overtones, Leona Vaughan (Wolfblood), Akai Osei (4 O’Clock Club) and Amy-Leigh Hickman (The Dumping Ground). If you’re not in your early teens, those names may mean little to you, so all you need to know is that Sam and Mark bring the chuckles in a style reminiscent of Ant and Dec’s SM:TV. Hannah Verdier
TFI Friday Christmas Special
7.30pm, Channel 4
Chris Evans’s revived TFI Friday serves up a festive special, co-hosted by Steve Coogan’s one and very much only Alan Partridge, who’ll no doubt bring some north Norfolk-based wit and wisdom to the proceedings. James Corden is back in Blighty, completing his first chatshow guest slot since diving in to take over The Late Late Show in the US. Also present are Tom Jones, Bad Education’s Jack Whitehall and comedian Lee Mack. Music comes from Lianne La Havas and Bryan Adams. Ben Arnold
Text Santa Christmas Jumper Day
8pm, ITV
Despite the obvious reindeer tie-in, ITV can’t, in good conscience, co-opt red noses in the name of charity. Instead, its annual fundraising appeal is hoping to leverage the current fad for jolly festive knitwear by asking viewers to “do their bit in a Christmas knit”. Phillip Schofield, Holly Willoughby and Caroline Flack are among the hosts for this three-hour telethon, which promises music guests, a celebrity version of Ninja Warrior and the second-to-last (if non-canon) instalment of Downton Abbey, with Bruce Forsyth and Gok Wan. Graeme Virtue
Captain Webb
8pm, Drama
In 1875, Captain Matthew Webb swam across the English Channel, the first man to do so, in a zig-zag journey avoiding the attentions of jellyfish. He made the journey in a wire mesh bathing suit fortified by spirits supplied by Professor Beckwith, the swimming impresario; his feat would not be repeated for 36 years. Starring Warren Brown as the unostentatious but utterly determined Webb, this likable drama tells of his trials, and is enhanced by an excellent soundtrack from British Sea Power (see what they did there?). David Stubbs
Citizen Khan
8.30pm, BBC1
Somewhat distanced from the Christmas schedules proper, a special sprinkled with winterval wonder from Sparkhill’s social shepherd. Mr K embraces the festive frivolities wholeheartedly, which might just have something to do with his new venture selling “traditional” halal mince pies. Shazia and Amjad are on the verge of seeking a stable to sleep in after their landlord announces the sale of their rented home. An angel in the form of Naani offers them the deposit, only for the cash to land in the lap of a decidedly unwise Khan. Mark Gibbing-Jones
An Island Parish: Falklands
8.30pm, BBC2
The Rev Richard Hines and wife Jen are preparing to leave the Falklands after seven years. But there’s still pastoral work to undertake, including heading for remote Pebble Island, where Arina and partner Raymond have deep family connections. The duo are relocating to the comparative bustle of Stanley, and Hines wants to be sure they’ll cope. Elsewhere, taxidermist Steve Massam puts the finishing touches to a wildlife diorama and George the king penguin convalesces after being covered in oil. A gentle portrait of a hardy community. Jonathan Wright
Queen: From Rags To Rhapsody
10pm, BBC4
“They can say it’s monstrous or whatever, but they can’t say it’s not good,” asserts Queen drummer Roger Taylor on the behemoth that is Bohemian Rhapsody, now a staggering 40 years old. This origin story – a patchwork quilt of a thing, much like the song itself, stitched together from various old interviews – follows the long journey up to its creation: from the days when Freddie and co were scratching around for bus fare, to the making of A Night At The Opera. Ali Catterall
Film choice
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (John Madden, 2011) 9pm, Film4
This quirky comedy, based on Deborah Moggach’s novel, takes an A-list of aged Brit thesps – Maggie Smith, Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson – and plonks them in a crumbling hotel in Rajasthan, as economic migrants seeking a cheaper retirement. Paul Howlett
Chappie (Neill Blomkamp, 2015) 2.15pm, 10pm, Sky Movies Premiere
Like his prawns-from-outer-space film District 9, Blomkamp’s latest sci-fi morality tale is set in a futuristic Johannesburg, where a regiment of cyborg police impose terminal control. Meanwhile, Dev Patel’s designer Deon has produced a caring robot-AI called Chappie (played by a motion-captured Sharlto Copley), which falls into the hands of a gang out to teach him the art of the heist. PH
Today’s best live sport
World Darts Championship Day two of the tournament, held at Alexandra Palace in London. 1pm, Sky Sports Darts
Equestrian: Olympia Horse Show Fourth day of the event, held at the Olympia Grand Hall in London. 6.30pm, Eurosport 1
Championship Football: Birmingham City v Cardiff City Clash between two promotion-chasing sides. 7pm, Sky Sports 5
International Test Cricket: New Zealand v Sri Lanka Day two of the second Test from Hamilton. 9.30pm, Sky Sports 3
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