Plot
The unveiling of Dr. Jacob Pendelton's newest product, ShamPube, becomes a blistering catastrophe when it transforms the Slutton residents into "humping" zombies. Now, it's up to an infomercial king, a used car salesman, four friends, and an array of peculiar townsfolk to join forces and stop the invasion. Prepare for the rise of Mourning Wood!
They're not that kind of ZOMBIE!
Plot
After Katrina, police sergeant Terence McDonagh rescues a prisoner, hurts his back in the process and earns a promotion to lieutenant plus an addiction to cocaine and painkillers. Six months later, a family is murdered over drugs; Terence runs the investigation. His drug-using prostitute girlfriend, his alcoholic father's dog, run-ins with two old women and a well-connected john, gambling losses, a nervous young witness, and thefts of police property put Terence's job and then his life in danger. He starts seeing things. He wants a big score to get out from under mounting debts, so he joins forces with drug dealers. The murders remain unsolved. A bad lieutenant gets worse.
Keywords: abuse-of-power, alcoholic, alcoholic-father, alligator, ambulance, american-football, anti-hero, aquarium, arrest, assistant-district-attorney
The only criminal he can't catch is himself.
Terence McDonagh: Shoot them again!::Deshaun 'Midget' Hackett: What for?::Terence McDonagh: Their soul's still dancing!::[laughs hysterically]
Terence McDonagh: You think fish have dreams?
Terence McDonagh: [Hallucinating] What are these fuckin' iguanas doing on my coffee table.::Stevie Pruit: There ain't no iguana.::Terence McDonagh: ...Yeah, there are.::Stevie Pruit: There ain't no iguana.::Terence McDonagh: What the fuck is that? [taps it] Fuckin' iguana.
Terence McDonagh: Is this the same police force my father was in?
Terence McDonagh: [to a man stuck in a cell as the water rises above his neck] You want me to get wet? On account of you?
Terence McDonagh: You don't have a lucky crack pipe?
Terence McDonagh: I'll kill all of you. To the break of dawn. To the break of dawn, baby.
Terence McDonagh: [a dog is barking in the distance as Terrence approaches the house] Hey! What's wrong?::Genevieve: Your father's mad at me 'cause I can't take care of his fucking dog...::Terence McDonagh: Well why does he need you to take care of it?::Genevieve: Cause! He's goin' back into AA. He says he can deal with anymore responsibilities bsides he said he's gotta stop drinking. I mean, it ain't like I don't wanna take care of it... but I leave at seven o'clock in the morning to go to work!::Terence McDonagh: Let me talk to him.::Genevieve: I try to be a good wife to him, Terrence. I really do. But I got a limit too! You know, he's got a drinking problem, he says he's got a drinking problem and he wants to do something about it and that's good. You know, he's been down this road before and it didn't take... he wants to try it again. GOOD. But I... I say to him "why don't you just stick to beer the way I do" but he says he can't do that.
Terence McDonagh: You know we got your boy, G, right?::Deshaun 'Midget' Hackett: Man, I don't know no G.::Terence McDonagh: He knows you. It's amazing how much you can get done when you've got a simple purpose guiding you through life. My purpose is to find out who shot up this apartment on Josephine. I know the guy that was living there was from Senegal. I know he was selling heroin. I know whose territory he was stepping on. And I know who went over to the apartment to straighten him out. I found out all that in the past few days. Where's Big Fate, son?::Deshaun 'Midget' Hackett: I don't know no Big Fate.::Terence McDonagh: Now, see, I know that's not true, because everybody who comes from where you come from knows who Big Fate is. The fact that you're lying to me about it tells me you're hiding something. Since you know my only reason for being here is to find out who shot up the apartment, I know that's what you're hiding. See? It all comes back to that same simple purpose.
Frankie Donnenfeld: Just get me my money.::Justin: I usually pay when I'm done.::Terence McDonagh: Done smacking her around?::Justin: It's erotic shit, man. I didn't hurt her.::Terence McDonagh: [Throws him against the wall] Just like I'm not hurting you.::Justin: Did I hurt-did I hurt you?::Frankie Donnenfeld: Terence, let's just go.::Terence McDonagh: We don't hit women down south.::Justin: You just made a big mistake, Terry. My father's Andy Winnick. You ever hear of him?::Terence McDonagh: Who?::Justin: One of the biggest developers in the Gulf Coast.::Terence McDonagh: Congratulations.::Justin: Tommy Leonardi's one of his best friends.::Terence McDonagh: Hey, listen to me, scumbag. Don't try to impress me with your father knows some guinea hood. What you've got to take away from this experience is if you ever see that girl again, you turn around and you walk in the opposite direction. You got that?::Justin: Oh, yeah, man. Yeah.::Terence McDonagh: I ever hear about you so much as looking at that girl, you're gonna wish you were born without a dick.
The battlefield that is bussing tables
It hurts to say goodbye.
You can fool some of the people, some of the time.
Plot
Lonnie, Dominic and 'G' are three bachelor buddies from the hood who, after a lifetime of hard-partying, are in for a crude awakening when their respective girlfriends all get pregnant at the same time. The fathers-to-be embark on an emotional journey while learning as much about themselves as they do about love and fatherhood.
Keywords: african-american, animal-costume, animated-sequence, asian-american, baby, baby-born, birth, boxer, boxing, break-up
They're going from players to playtime.
[from trailer]::[after G's baby throws up on him]::Dominic: Haha - you got the Exorcist baby.
G: Who's taking care of your kids?::Lonnie: Jesus.
G: [a Peking duck runs out of the kitchen and in front of the store counter, quacking] [Chinese boy comes after him with a butcher knife] Get him, Dang Ling! GET HIM, DANG LING!
[about the Stylz Brothas]::Dominic: Someone should tell them they're white.
Plot
Documentary filmmakers follow 19-year-old Jared Adams as he tries to maintain relationships with three simultaneous girlfriends. Jared doesn't want his girlfriends to find out about each other and the documentary filmmakers try to create conflict for their movie.
Keywords: number-in-title
Who said 1 2 3 was easy?
Plot
Dex and Eric are ordinary, twenty-something guys dealing with work, relationships and friends. Their life becomes less ordinary when they encounter Herb, a mischievous and malevolent geek. What starts as an innocent game of bar trivia soon escalates into an all out war - Dex & Eric vs. Herb. Complicating matters further is the fact that commitment-shy Dex unexpectedly meets Marcia, the girl of his dreams. As Dex prepares to do battle with Herb, he must also deal with all the intricacies it takes to make a relationship work.
No, not weed! Jeez, what's wrong with you people?
Before you came around I asked myself
What is this thing called love?
There were clouds, the rain kept pouring down
Then you brought the sun, yes, you did
Showed me all the differences
Between a woman and a girl
Right then I knew I could be a good man
With you inside my world, my world, my world
I don't need to take a toke
'Cuz I'm on a natural high
Everybody's blowing smoke
But girl you never lie
Friends say that we in a pinch
They're just hatin' their lies
I know they want what I got
It comes once in a lifetime, yeah
You're the reason why I sing
All of life's finer things
Like rainbows and shining stars
Baby, you are
You're the reason why I sing
All of life's finer things
Like diamond rings and fancy cars
Baby, you are
I was a bad seed
And you nourished me, encouraged me
'Till I grew tall as a tree, as a tree
You had patience to search
Find and bring out
All the best in me, yes, you did
You see things I couldn't see
My mental potential
Girl, you showed me, yeah
Now it's a reality and I promise for you
I'm gonna be all that I can be
I don't need to take a toke
'Cause I'm on a natural high
Everybody's blowing smoke
But girl, but girl you never, never, never, never lie
Friends say that we in a pinch
But they're just hatin' their lies
I know they want what I got
It only comes once in a lifetime, baby, baby
You're the reason why I sing
All of life's finer things
Like rainbows and shining stars
Baby, you are, yeah
You're the reason why I sing
All of life's finer things
Like diamond rings and fancy cars
Baby, you are
You are, you are, you are, you are
Baby, you are, I mean it, I mean it, babe
Baby you are, said you're number one in my book
And forever you got me hooked
Baby, you are, you are, you are
Take it back girl, come on
Ooh, who, ooh, who
You're my shining star
Said baby, baby you are, you are, you are
Oh, who, you're everything I need
Baby just stay here with me, you are
You're the reason why I sing
All of life's finer things
Like rainbows and shining stars
Baby, baby, baby, baby, you are, yeah
You're the reason why I sing
All of life's finer things
Like diamond rings and fancy cars
Ooh, ooh, baby, you are, yeah
You are, yeah, yeah, yeah
Baby, you are, yeah
Baby, you are my everything
Baby you are
You're the reason why I sing
All of life's finer things
Like rainbows and shining stars
Baby, baby, baby, you are
You're the reason why I sing
All of life's finer things
Like diamond rings and fancy cars
Baby, you are
Welcome to the new sound of Venezuelan gozadera, a mixture of Latin dance and sex culture... Fuck man! get on with that shit!
This is how to build a better enemy
We work together and we get it done
I'm not exactly who I used to be
So shut your mouth or else you're fucking gone
I wish the situation was different
Nothing we can do now
I wish that time was in our favor
That things would be better
How can you say that you are sorry
I'm the only reason
Driving you so crazy
This is hatred
I've seen the future and it's caving in
I thought that you might like to know
So here's how to build a better enemy
Do it without me and you're fucking done
I'm not the man you think I used to be
I've been a visitor for way too long
You need to think of probability
Nothing can change the way I write this song
This shit means nothing to me
You say forever but I know it's gone
Has anyone else seen The Daylight Bank Robbery
My shrink he said it was amazing
Really got my money's worth
In telling me I missed out
Doesn't even realize that Jesse James did that shit
Motherfucking ruining it
I've seen the future and it's growing thin
I thought that you might wanna know
This is how to build a better enemy
We work together and we get it done
I'm not exactly who I used to be
So shut your mouth or else I'm fucking gone
I am not the guy
With the Uber nice singing voice
I'm drunk a lot and I used to do a lot of drugs
Never wondered why weenies made a choice
I've traded in my twenties honey
I've seen the future and it's caving in
I thought that you might like to know
I saw the sutures and blood's pouring in
There's nothing that's left for me to blow
I know that I'm losing all of my friends
If you had my reasons
You'd do the goddamned same thing
This is how to build a better enemy
We work together and we get it done
I'm not exactly who I used to be
So shut your mouth or else I'm fucking gone
You need to think there's probability
Nothing can change the way you write this song
This shit means nothing to me
We resemble ghosts Murky shapes within the crowd and if
the traffic were to stop and watch They'd see our insides
all aroused with life And view out sinew twist and turn
Our skin and bone have lost their tone so lets dance as
dead, let's dance and sing our silences We resemble
ghosts Bending light within our skin Even though we are
but human Our chemestry is vibrant We float when we touch
Molecules in the subatomic swing
I've been waiting, all my life
For the sun to make it mine
Callin', callin', whispering
Your name
N'right now
You're on my trail
Falling, falling, wishing you near
But somehow
You slipped away
Like ice in the sun
Already gone
One life, one soul
Forever i know
Follow me follow me
Wherever i go
One life, one soul
Just waiting to flow
Follow me follow me
Don't let me go
I've been dreaming for too long
Chasing rainbows, on my own
Screamin', screamin'
You are the wind in my sail
In an ocean so wide
Over good times
Bad times
I'll be your own guiding light
Holding your hand
Eyes open wide
Always beside
Maybe I should just get used to it
These words I'll use again and again
Don't you know, how this disgust me
Just to know how you always trusted me
Just to know that I would never
See anymore than what's on your face
Stripped from heavens holy grace, I've been
Cursed to live with demons that come with life all alone
If you just knew that you know nothing
You'd be a whole hell of a lot smarter
Than you think you are at the moment
Don't you know how you always trusted me
Just to know that there would never be
Anything to replace what's lost
Someone tell me what's the cost