Be prepared for the possibility of receiving a well-meaning but unwanted gift. Photo: Stocksy The holiday season is fraught with danger. Not because of the general increase in egg nog and brandy consumption, nor the likelihood that your deep-fried turkey might explode and burn the house down, but because of the great Spectre of Christmas Present: unwanted gifts.
Being a sensitive sort, even typing the words “unwanted gift” makes my eyes sting with tears, since I do –in spite of everything the world tells me– still believe that it’s the thought that counts, and other Pollyanna-ish sentiments.
In a consumer-focused age, however, Christmas has become an orgiastic display of consumption, and so, no matter how genuine the “thought”, it’s inevitable that someone will, in a last-minute frenzy of stress, buy and give you something not quite right. Be generous about it, and don’t lead with a Violet Beauregard-esque display of “My GOD, I HATE this!” while tree-side on Christmas morning.
So, here are a handful of ideas to help you deal with the possibility of a well-meaning but unwanted household item come December 25th and beyond.
Display it for two months
When someone gives you an item of clothing you’ll never wear, subterfuge is easier: you can blithely chirp, “Yes, I’ve been wearing it all the time!” the next time you catch up. Ask a friend or family member around to your house, on the other hand, and they will quickly realise you have not given pride of sideboard place to the comedy knife block or framed potato print they gave you for Christmas. Grin and bear it and make sure you have them over for a coffee while the gift-giving is still fresh in their mind.
Upcycle it
You’ve got time off, don’t you? That household item might be salvageable: remove its frills, give it a coat of paint, sand it down, throw on some gold leaf or Rub N Buff. You might have been desperate to frame a particular photo, and been given a chintzy photo frame: strip it back (or jazz it up) and waste not, want not.
Give it to charity
This one seems obvious, but it comes with a caveat: don’t use charity bins as literal bins and fill them with every awful pot-pourri-holder you get in the office Kris Kringle. If you’ve been given something that’s nice quality but just truly, ruly not your thing (floral cushions when your house is white-on-beige; glass coffee cups when you prefer a lumpen stoneware mug; fancy towels), pay it forward. If it’s literal rubbish, separate the bits out for recycling and put it in an actual bin.
Re-gift it
Likewise, this one comes under the understanding that you’re not just engaging in the never-ending chain of naff gift-giving. Instead, if you’ve been given something that is genuinely not your style, but is nice quality or sturdy or fancy, think about who you know who might love it: maybe your aunt’s birthday is coming up and she just loves floral over-sized teacups.
Shoot it into space
Just kidding; who gets rocket kits for Christmas anymore?
Put it in the holiday house
Beach shacks and country getaways are –unless you’re one of those “matching flounces and preserved flowers” types– typically decorated in a ramshackle, nothing-really-goes-together fashion. This is because beach shacks and country getaways are the perfect place to store/hide the flower-sprigged cupcake holder/embroidered bolster/animal-shaped popcorn maker of your Christmas nightmares. Bonus: they’ll make any mini-break feel like Christmas!
Insist on a no-gift Christmas
This one might seem a bit “bah, humbug”, but really: part of the stress of unwanted gifts is, in a post-#KonMarie age, the horror of contributing to unending piles of stuff. If you’re an adult who has everything you need –look deep into your soul, you know that to be true– then cheerfully request that your friends and family not give you anything for Christmas other than their presence.