Big Stan (2007)

Actors: Sally Kirkland (actress), Rob Schneider (actor), Dan Haggerty (actor), Scott Wilson (actor), Randy Couture (actor), M. Emmet Walsh (actor), Geoffrey Gould (actor), David Alan Graf (actor), Richard Kind (actor), Richard Riehle (actor), David Carradine (actor), Henry Gibson (actor), Erik Betts (actor), Olivia Munn (actress), Jennifer Morrison (actress),

Plot: The fraudulent real state agent Stan is married with his beloved Mindy and has a seven million dollar fortune. When he is arrested for fraud, he is sentenced to three years in prison and his assets are frozen by the justice. However, his crooked lawyer Lew Popper negotiates a six month freedom, and the weak Stan, who is afraid of being raped in prison, hires the specialist in martial arts The Master to teach him self-defense. Six months later, Big Stan is sent to the Oaksburgh State Penitentiary totally confident in his expertise in martial arts. He challenges the violent leaders of the gangs and defeats them, being respected by the inmates and bringing peace in the patio. However, the dirty Warden Gasque has the intention of transforming the penitentiary in a luxury resort, and uses Big Stan knowledge to improve his project, promising to release him sooner using the corrupt penal system.

Keywords: anti-hero, anus, arab-stereotype, architectural-model, attorney, baseball-bat, bed-of-nails, bitch, blade, broken-finger
Genres: Action, Comedy,
Taglines: The cell block just got a new bully.... a small one. He'll have to kick some butt to save his own.

Quotes:

Stan Minton: What the fuck just happened in there?::Mal: You lost, Stanley.::Stan Minton: I didn't lose. You're the lawyer. You lost.::Mal: I'm truly sorry.::Stan Minton: Damn it man, I'm rich! I wanted some of that O.J. Justice.

Tubby: Looks like everybody's gonna rape you.::Stan Minton: Ok, ok... I, I, I bet I can be a racist for three to five year. A real racist. Hardcore.::Tubby: Well good. Than you can join the Nazi's.::Stan Minton: Excellent.::Tubby: Then you'll only be raped by the other Nazi's.::Stan Minton: [shouting] Raped by Nazi's? No way!

Tubby: You might as well buy a welcome mat, strap it to your asshole, say 'I'm open for business'.::[laughs]

Mindy: Oh, honey, it's ok. A lot could happen in 6 months.::Stan Minton: What's gonna happen, Wendy? Is my anus gonna grow teeth?

Stan Minton: [shouting] I will be unrape-able!

Mindy: So... The Master, where are you from?::The Master: Hell.::Mindy: Oh! Well what brought you to L.A. a job?

The Master: Next time use more tongue.::Stan Minton: That's what she said. [The Master punches Stan in the stomach]

Shorts: Don't go near those guys [points to a group of men, one of whom is consulting a book] They're scientologists.::Big Stan: They don't look so tough.::Shorts: Yeah, they'll talk your ear off and then sue your ass.

Big Stan: Now pick up your gold teeth. I'm gonna let you keep them this time. But if you come at me again, I'm gonna hang on to them like a Swiss banker.

Big Stan: [on phone] Don't you ever find yourself feeling sorry for anybody?::The Master: [on other line] You might as well ask me if I feel sorry for the maggots I grind into my morning coffee.