Delivery Man (2013)

Actors: D.R. Farquharson (miscellaneous crew), Vince Vaughn (actor), Howard Samuelsohn (miscellaneous crew), Bruce Altman (actor), Rosemary Howard (actress), Joseph Basile (actor), Bill Maher (actor), Jay Leno (actor), Al Cerullo (miscellaneous crew), Damian Young (actor), Simon Delaney (actor), Steven Weisz (actor), Jamie Buckner (miscellaneous crew), Chris Pratt (actor), Chris Nuñez (actor),

Plot: David Wozniak is a man who is irresponsible and unreliable which doesn't exactly endear him to his family and his girlfriend. And when she tells him that she's pregnant, she tells him, she plans to do it on her own because she can't count on him. One day a lawyer shows up and talks to him about the fact that twenty years ago he was a sperm donor over a year period and his sperm was used to father over 500 children. And now over 100 of them want to know who he is but because he signed a confidentiality agreement, they can't be told who he is. So they are going to court to try to get the confidentiality set aside. His lawyer tells him that they can win this. But when the lawyer who saw him gives him info on the one who want to see him, he takes a peek at one and decides to go see him and not tell him he's the father. He then goes out and checks out some of his other children and doesn't tell them who he is but makes connection with them. His lawyer tells him it could jeopardize their case, especially since he can get a big settlement which he can use to pay back some people he borrowed from who "tell" him to pay or else.

Keywords: artificial-insemination, biological-father, children, pater-familias, remake, remake-by-original-director, remake-of-canadian-film, remake-with-original-writer, sperm-donor
Genres: Comedy, Drama,
Taglines: You're never quite ready for what life delivers.

Scalping Tickets (2011)

Actors: Claudine Marrotte (producer), Claudine Marrotte (director), Claudine Marrotte (writer), Graziano Bruni (composer), Peter Falcetti (actor), Tyler Johnson (actor), Max Prum (editor), Stephanie Beaudoin (producer), Phil Swetz (actor), John 'Tony' Mayes (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Short,

Two Tickets to Paradise (2006)

Actors: D.B. Sweeney (director), Pat Hingle (actor), D.B. Sweeney (writer), Ned Bellamy (actor), Nick Vallelonga (actor), D.B. Sweeney (actor), M.C. Gainey (actor), D.B. Sweeney (producer), Rex Linn (actor), John C. McGinley (actor), Mark Moses (actor), Ed Harris (actor), Tim Parati (actor), Paul Hipp (actor), Nina Kaczorowski (actress),

Plot: Mark, McGriff and Jason are three high school buddies whose glory days are long gone and are still stuck in their small Pennsylvania hometown. To break free and escape their much too ordinary lives, they embark on a cross-country road trip to the College Football Championship Bowl. The journey takes them through hilarious twists and turns, boozing and misbehaving every step of the way. Throughout the wild adventure, they discover the most important thing in this crazy, uncertain world is friendship.

Keywords: written-and-directed-by-cast-member
Genres: Comedy,
Taglines: Good Friends...Good Times...Great Seats!

Queen of the Damned (2002)

Actors: Nathan Hill (actor), Bruce Spence (actor), Lena Olin (actress), Vincent Perez (actor), Jarik Van Sluijs (miscellaneous crew), Jo Weeks (miscellaneous crew), Paul McGann (actor), Richard Gibbs (composer), Bruce Berman (producer), Fiona Searson (miscellaneous crew), Marguerite Moreau (actress), Trudy Talbot (miscellaneous crew), Marg Downey (actress), Stuart Townsend (actor), Victoria Mielewska (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: After many years of sleeping in his coffin, the vampire Lestat awakens only to find that the world has changed and he wants to be a part of it. He gathers a following and becomes a rock star only to find that his music awakens the ancient Queen Akasha and she wants him to become her king...

Keywords: 1780s, airport, based-on-novel, bitten-in-the-neck, blood, blood-draining, blood-drinking, blood-spatter, bloodshed, bloody-mouth
Genres: Fantasy, Horror, Music,
Taglines: The Mother Of All Vampires All She Wants Is Hell On Earth This time there are no interviews.

Quotes:

Lestat: How did you manage to slip through the 50's in red velvet?::Marius: I slept.::Lestat: Don't think you've missed much.::Marius: Elvis?::Lestat: Elvis, yes.::Marius: You're bigger than he is now.

Akasha: My children. Warms my blood to see you all gathered plotting against me.::Maharet: Akasha.::Akasha: Maharet. You will address my king first.::Jesse: Lestat, what has she done to you?::Marius: Lestat, step aside.::Lestat: Never.::Maharet: The world has changed since you reigned.::Akasha: Then we shall change it back. Human are animals. Brute creatures. Their destruction can only make sense.::Marius: Akasha, please!::Akasha: You think you can change my will? I've had enough of this discussion. Join me or die!::Maharet: I will not.::Pandora: I will not.::Armand: I will not.::Marius: I will not.::Akasha: [to Lestat] Do you love me?::Lestat: Yes.::Akasha: Then prove it. Kill her.::Lestat: She means nothing to me.::Akasha: Just the same. I'd like for you to kill her.::Maharet: You will not touch her!::Akasha: You dare to challenge me, Maharet?::Jesse: No it's all right, Aunt Maharet. It's what I want.::Akasha: How sweet.::Akasha: [after Jesse is killed] See my children? Remember your real family, or join hers.

Marius: A vampire's life is a life of discretion.::Lestat: Discretion? Why should we hide, Marius? We are the powerful. We are the immortal. We should walk fearless in the open.::[They both stop to watch a girl playing a violin]::Marius: That cannot be. We are vulnerable during the day. Mortals must never know of us.::Lestat: So I could never know her?::Marius: Not unless you wanted to kill her.::Lestat: So I can never be known?::Marius: You must be dead to the world.

Lestat: With all my black little heart.

[first lines]::Lestat: [voiceover] There comes a time for every vampire when the idea of eternity becomes momentarily unbearable. Living in the shadows, feeding in the darkness with only your own company to keep, rots into a solitary, hollow existence. Immortality seems like a good idea, until you realize you're going to spend it alone. So I went to sleep, hoping that the sounds of the passing eras would fade out, and a sort of death might happen. But as I lay there, the world didn't sound like the place I had left, but something different. [rock music begins] Better. It became worthwhile to rise again as new gods were born and worshipped. Night and day, they were never alone. I would become one of them. [feeds] Whether it was that first meal, or a hundred years of rest, I'm not sure. But suddenly I was feeling better than ever. My senses so high they led me straight to the instrument of my resurrection, playing in my old house.

Jesse: Boo.::Lestat: Boo back.

Lifestyle Journalist: Do you have anything you want to say to the other vampires listening out there?::Lestat: As a matter of fact, I do. Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Lestat: I don't have time for this.::Jesse: All a vampire has is time.::Lestat: Not this one!

Lestat: [chained to a bed] More!::Marius: I don't think so, my little lord.::Lestat: Let me go!::Marius: No. You've drunk the purest of blood, seen the oldest of things. Far too much for one as young as you.::Lestat: Her blood is like liquid fire. Who is she?::Marius: She is your mother. She is my mother. Akasha, queen of all who are damned. And he is her king. Akasha and Enkil nearly drank the earth dry when they ruled over Egypt. They drank and drank until Enkil lost his will to drink. Without a mate by her side, she lost hers. They became living statues. She has no respect for anything, except for the taste of blood: human and immortal alike.::Lestat: No! Release me!::[breaks through his chains, but Marius stops him]::Marius: She has made you quite powerful.::Lestat: You'll not stop me!::Marius: I can hear her blood in your voice. In all those years I've kept them, not once have they moved.::Lestat: Until tonight, and she chose me.::Marius: I chose you!

Lestat: Boo! That was quite a performance. You should learn to be more careful.::Jesse: Thanks.::Lestat: For what?::Jesse: You saved me.::Lestat: How presumptuous.

An Everlasting Piece (2000)

Actors: John McKenna (miscellaneous crew), Hans Zimmer (composer), Barry Levinson (director), Jim Dooley (miscellaneous crew), Steven R. Molen (miscellaneous crew), Brendan Gunn (miscellaneous crew), Paula Weinstein (producer), Billy Connolly (actor), Morgan O'Sullivan (producer), Mark Johnson (producer), Barry Levinson (producer), Anna Friel (actress), James Flynn (producer), Simon Delaney (actor), Catherine Geary (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: Colm is a Catholic and George is a poetry-loving Protestant. In Belfast in the 1980s, they could have been enemies, but instead they became business partners. After persuading a mad wig salesman, known as the Scalper, to sell them his leads, the two embark on a series of house calls--always in neighborhoods that are dangerous for one or the other partner. Then they find out they may lose their exclusive wig distributorship to competitors. Through a series of comic twists, the pair are given large orders for wigs by both sides of the Protestant/Catholic conflict. Should they compromise their principles in order to keep their business? Will it destroy their friendship? Could one of their wigs in the hands of the IRA actually put one or both of them in jail or even get them killed?

Keywords: alopecia, baldness, barber, belfast-northern-ireland, cross-cultural-friendship, dog, fried-chicken, ireland, irish-republican-army, mental-institution
Genres: Comedy,
Taglines: Piece on Earth.

Quotes:

Scalper: The scrotum is the devil's tobacco pouch!

Disappearing Acts (2000)

Actors: CCH Pounder (actress), Clark Johnson (actor), Michael Imperioli (actor), Laz Alonso (actor), John Amos (actor), Wesley Snipes (actor), Wesley Snipes (producer), Peter Onorati (actor), Françoise Bonnot (editor), Q-Tip (actor), Lydia Dean Pilcher (producer), Sanaa Lathan (actress), Vernon Rodriquez (miscellaneous crew), Robert Ray Manning Jr. (actor), Aunjanue Ellis (actress),

Plot: Zora Banks is a school teacher and aspiring singer hoping to become a successful star while taking a break from heartache. Franklin Swift is a down-on-his-luck construction worker and not-quite divorced father of two hoping to start his own business. The two meet and fall in love and during the course of the stormy relationship, they both come to some startling conclusions about love and each other.

Keywords: african-american, based-on-novel, black-american, black-romance, brooklyn-new-york-city, business, construction-worker, drink, drinking, epilepsy
Genres: Drama, Romance,
Taglines: Real love. Real life.

Detroit Rock City (1999)

Actors: Adam Rifkin (actor), Steve Schirripa (actor), Ron Jeremy (actor), Richard Nixon (actor), Julian Richings (actor), David Gardner (actor), Joe Flaherty (actor), Giuseppe Andrews (actor), Jimmy Carter (actor), Kevin Corrigan (actor), Brian McGuire (actor), Sonny Bono (actor), Edward Furlong (actor), Paul Stanley (actor), Gene Simmons (actor),

Plot: Four members of a high school band called Mystery do everything they can to attend a KISS concert in Detroit. In order to make it to the show they must steal, cheat, strip, deal with an anti-rock mom and generally do whatever it takes to see the band that has inspired them to be musicians.

Keywords: 1970s, 8-track, acne, alcoholic-drink, apology, attempted-robbery, auto-theft, backstage-pass, band, bar
Genres: Comedy, Music,
Taglines: You gotta lose your mind at Detroit Rock City! Rock and roll all night. Party every day. They came. They saw. They rocked. Kiss The Rules Goodbye. Disco Sucks! In October of 1978, 4 high school students disappeared outside Detroit, Michigan. 20 years later, their footage was found.

Quotes:

Jam: Hey what's up mom? I'm gonna ask you this nicely first. Can I have my drumsticks back?::Mrs. Bruce: Your drumsticks are the least of your worries young man. You ran out on God! My son just ran out on God! You are in a world of...::Jam: TROUBLE! HA HA HA! I've been in trouble for the past 12 hours! HELLO? You know I'm going to be in St. Bernards Boarding School for the next 2 years of my life, remember?::Mrs. Bruce: YES!::Jam: I am going to be out of your hair until I am a legal adult!::Mrs. Bruce: YES!::Jam: Then all you have to do is go to church, light a candle, and pray to some stupid little statue for me and all is forgiven and forgotten, right mom? Then you can spend your days in a guilt free pursuit of more constructive activities like telling everybody ELSE how screwed up THEIR lives are. And then you no longer need the patience and understanding required to talk to your own son on some normal plain. And then that way you don't have to think about how tough it was for you when you were growing up and its probably a good thing too cause if you did, you'd realize what a lousy, goddamn shitty-ass parent you are!::Mrs. Bruce: Jeremiah... what has gotten into you?::Jam: [Yells over bullhorn to crowd of church-goers] I JUST LOST MY VIRGINITY IN A CONFESSIONAL BOOTH! LORD... HAVE... MERCY! Now, for the last time... Mom... Give me back my FUCKING drumsticks... [long pause] please.

Trip: Fuck, it's Elvis!

Christine: Hey, you know what? Disco's so fucking big right now, I wouldn't be suprised if KISS did a disco song.::Lex: Man, if there's one thing KISS will never do, it is a bullshit disco song.::Jam: No shit man!::Trip: Yeah man. Disco blows dogs for quarters man!

Trip: Man, this is better than the first time I got to finger a chick, man.

Guido: Have you learned your lesson yet, puke?::Hawk: If the lesson is you're a dick with ears and a really bad haircut, I'd say yeah. I've learned my lesson.

Jam: It's a teenage girl walking along the side of the highway. I mean, they, they, they make scary movies that start out like that.::Trip: Hey, but, but they make porno movies that start out like that too, man.

[a Little Boy is playing pinball]::Trip: Hey!::Little Kid: Shit! You just stole my last ball you...::Trip: Scream and I'll kick your head off.

Lex: Man I've never heard a girl blow ass before!

[after Jam's mom finds the Kiss record]::Lex: Man, I was afraid some bullshit like this was gonna happen. If Jam misses Peter Criss' drum solo, he won't be able to continue with his fucking life!::Hawk: Lex! Quit Jynxing us man! No one is missing that concert tomorrow night!

Trip: So who did your wardrobe? A band of preppy sailboat captains?::Jam: Hey, my mom had me over a barrel, alright? After what happened last night I had to let her *dress* me today! [Huffs] It's a give-and-take relationship.::Lex: Yeah, she gives you shit, and you take it!::Hawk: Jam, give me the tickets, man, I wanna hang on to them.::Jam: The... tickets?::Hawk: What?::Jam: you see, there's a little, *little* problem with that. They're still at my house in Trip's jacket.::Hawk: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?::Jam: She was standing right over me while I was changing, for fuck's sake!::Hawk: Jam, you are so pathetic, man!::Trip: That is some sick shit right there! What, does she comb your ass hair for you too?::Lex: Jam, if she even smells those tickets, she'll destroy 'em, and we get fucked outta seein' KISS for the third year in a row!::Jam: They're fine, they're at my house, they're perfectly safe. We can go there right after school and pick 'em up. My mom's not even gonna be there!::Trip: Dudes, hours from now, we're actually gonna be seein' KISS!::Hawk: All right, man. We'll just double time it to your house, and grab the tickets before heading to the train station for the 3:45 to DETROIT... ROCK... CITY! GOD! [Bell rings] Well, as they say in the tampon biz, see you next period. [slams locker door]

Tangents (1994)

Actors: Martin Guigui (actor), David Giancola (director), David Giancola (writer), Peter Beckwith (producer), Peter Beckwith (producer), Peter Beckwith (actor), Bruce Nelson (actor), George Woodard (actor), Nick Spano (actor), Kerstin Karlhuber (actress), William Wallace (actor), Carolyn Palmer (actress), Carolyn Palmer (costume designer), John Rice (actor), Jason Smiley (actor),

Plot: Nick creates a time machine out of an airplane and a Commodore-64, and shows it to his friends by taking them 50 years into the future. Nick sells the technology to Gen-Corp, a high-tech firm run by J.K. Robertson, whose office is in the mezzanine of a shopping mall. Robertson, however, turns out to be Evil, and uses the time machine to plunder the future. With the lives of himself and his friends at stake, Nick needs to use his time machine to travel a week back in time and convince himself not to give the demo to Robertson.

Keywords: 1950s, 2040s, airplane, airplane-accident, american-revolution, aviation, bicycle, castleton, commercial, computer
Genres: Sci-Fi,
Taglines: The Ultimate Time Transport must be Destroyed to Save the Future... His mission is to save the future. But time waits for no man... The times they are a changing... Saving the future before time runs out...

Quotes:

Marty: Whoa, minutemen!::Nick: Correction, they are pissed minutemen!

J.K. Robertson: Matt, it's time for you to decide if you're one of my team players or not!

[after Matt has been fired]::Nick: Well, at least you didn't get shot this time.

Nick: I never should have joined the physics club in high school.

Lisa: Bring your ray gun?

Nick: We're all connected, you fool! You... me... everything!::J.K. Robertson: Connect me to *this*!

Exotica (1994)

Actors: Robert Lantos (producer), Atom Egoyan (writer), Elias Koteas (actor), Sarah Polley (actress), Mychael Danna (composer), Atom Egoyan (director), Robert Lantos (producer), Victor Garber (actor), Maury Chaykin (actor), Don McKellar (actor), Bruce Greenwood (actor), Atom Egoyan (producer), David Hemblen (actor), Joanne T. Harwood (miscellaneous crew), Arsinée Khanjian (actress),

Plot: The 'Exotica' is a nightclub on the outskirts of Toronto, where Eric, DJ and MC, watches nightly as his ex-girlfriend Christina performs. Watches jealously, especially as far as the extra attentions regular customer Francis garners are concerned. Thomas, meanwhile and erstwhile, goes through a series of, um, interesting situations involving his pet shop, a gruff taxi-sharing stranger, unexpected tickets to the opera and smuggled eggs of a rare bird. Multiple story lines unfold in a splendid tangle of cutbacks, forward and backward references and recurring themes, all woven around the Exotica, its customers and employees. A calm roller-coaster ride of a movie, visually and intriguingly and emotionally moving. O, and the sound track is notable, too.

Keywords: accountant, actress-breaking-typecast, adultery, airport, animal-smuggling, aquarium, artificial-insemination, audit, auditor, babysitter
Genres: Drama, Mystery,
Taglines: In a world of temptation, obsession is the deadliest desire.

Quotes:

[clapping]::Eric: Yeah! Bring those big hairy palms together, gentlemen, have a nice big, round of applause... for Kali! Kali. Yes, indeed, Kali. And you, too, can - you, too, can have Kali come over to your table for only five dollars, where she can show you the mysteries of her world. Trust me, gentlemen, trust me.

Eric: Do it for me, baby! Oh! My god, that's incredible, incredible! Let me ask you something, gentlemen: What is it that gives a schoolgirl her special innocence? Her sweet fragrance... Fresh flowers, light as a spring rain... Oh, my god, my god... Or is it her firm, young flesh, inviting your every caress, enticing you to explore her deepest and most private secrets? Well, gentlemen, I'm gonna let you decide that one for yourselves. Please join me in welcoming a sassy bit of jailbait to our stage. Yes, indeed. Come out, sweet Chrissy! Wherever you are, baby, come on out!

Zoe: What is this thing about Eric calling you "a sassy piece of jailbait"?::Christina: What's this thing?::Zoe: It bothers me.::Christina: Why?::Zoe: It makes you out like a child or something.::Christina: Unlike the tartan skirt and my socks or the blouse or the way I act, right?

Christina: Do you have a lot of friends?::Eric: Not really...::Christina: Do you ever wish you did?::Eric: Yeah.::Christina: When?::Eric: Well... like... now, for instance.::Christina: Why?::Eric: Well... I just met you. And I feel like telling somebody about it.

Eric: He comes in here every other night. He has his favorite drink, and his favourite table, with his favorite dancer. Sometimes he has to wait for her, and sometimes she's waiting for him, to protect him. She's his angel.

Eric: Mmm, what? What is it? What is it that gives a school-girl her special innocence? Is it the way they smell? The sweet smell of their perfume... , of their hair? The aroma of fresh flowers... , and all that other stuff that hasn't been fucked up by late nights and a lot 'a bad food? Is it their gestures... , and the way they move? The way their body still holds on to some semblance of self-respect and... , and dignity? When they wrap their beautiful legs around you - tight, holding on - looking at you... , you looking at them. It's just... Or is it whatever comes out of their cute little mouths? All those questions, all that wondering that... It's just, you know, you... They got their whole lives ahead of them, you know? And you've wasted half of yours away. Damn. What is it?

The Diceman Cometh (1989)

Actors: Andrew Dice Clay (writer), Andrew Dice Clay (actor), Gregory Sills (miscellaneous crew), Andrew Dice Clay (producer), Cliff Emmich (actor), Sandy Gallin (producer), Barry Josephson (producer), Julie Warner (actress), Tommy Lynch (producer), Jacque Lynn Colton (actress), Jarrett Lennon (actor), Loucas George (miscellaneous crew), Fred Asparagus (actor), Mary Mitchel (miscellaneous crew), Jay Dubin (director),

Genres: Comedy,

Quotes:

Andrew Dice Clay: C'mon baby, lose the bra.

Andrew Dice Clay: Hickory Dickory Dock. Some chick's been sucking my cock. Clock struck two, dropped my goo...::Andrew Dice Clay, Audience: ...Dumped the bitch down the next block!

[talking to a couple in the audience]::Andrew Dice Clay: Panties? You shouldn't be wearing panties. D-Don't you read the gynaecological reports! [uproarious laughter] You get that-that moisture build-up which leads to you know, the yeast thing. [more laughter] I mean, you're making *bread* down there, baby. [more laughter] And after the guy eats a loaf-and-a-half he gets FULL! [more laughter]

Andrew Dice Clay: Jack and Jill went up the hill, each witk a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two-fifty, OOOOOOOOOOOOH!::Andrew Dice Clay, Audience: WHAT A FUCKING WHORE!

Andrew Dice Clay: [first line during show] I got my tongue up this chick's ass.