"Everybody's laughing in my mind, rumours spreading bout this other guy, do you do what you did when you did with me? Does he love you the way I can? Did you forget all the plans that you made with me? Cos baby I didn't!" I walked through the courtyards, feeling everyone's eyes as I walked past them, my face drowned with depression. I heard the whispers, the laughing, how she'd found this new guy. I truly doubt they were just rumours. I walked up to my friends, "Dude, let it go." Ryan said placing his hand on my shoulder. "How can I let it go? I love her." I shrugged his hand off of my shoulder, and walked away, I kept walking until realising I was home. I thought back to when I carved our names in our tree, with a love heart surrounding it. How I wrote my name on her hand, and she wrote hers on mine. How we'd take pictures, kissing in the mirror. Does she do that kind of stuff with him now? Has she taken our memories, and turned them into him and hers? I thought back, how much I loved her, loving her was all I did, I was always with her, I said I'd never let her go, even if there were cracks along the way, bumps along the road. How can he love her like I did? He can't. I remember the plans we made, we said this summer we'd be together everyday, we'd go to the beach, spend our birthday's together. We'd go to the cinemas, we'd talk on the phone for hours. None of that happened, because I let you go. I didn't forget, even if you did. "That should be me holding your hand, that should be me making you laugh, that should be me, this is so sad. That should be me, that should be me, that should be me, feeling your kiss, that should be me buying you gifts. This is so wrong, I can't go on, till you believe that, that should be me." I walked out my house, past her house. I saw them, holding hands, laughing with each other. I watched how he pulled out a necklace, and put it on her, how he kissed her. That should be me doing that, not him. That should have been me from the start, it should never of changed. I watched how happy they was together, how she had this twinkle in her eye like he was her first love, yet I was her first love. For the past three years. she looked at him, like they'd been together for years, like if she wanted to tell him she loved him the words would just flow. I looked at her, how happy she was, yet with me before, it was different. I hadn't seen that smile in months. I couldn't watch, I walked away. Imagining what it would be like, to hold her in my arms once more. Imagining what it would be like to have one more kiss, to relive our memories, to patch up the broken parts in our relationship, because that should be me holding her hand, kissing her, buying her gifts. Not him. "That should be me, yeah. You said you needed a little time for my mistakes, it's funny how you used that time to have me replaced. Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies, whatcha doing to me, you're taking him where we used to go, now if you're tryna to break my heart, it's working cos you know that..." I walked to Ryan's house, reminiscing on the past on my way there, remembering how she said she needed time for all my mistakes, forgetting the dates, forgetting the anniversaries, not showing her enough respect and love, but I didn't think that time meant losing her, and after she slipped away, being replaced. I knocked his door, and it instantly opened like he knew I was coming. "Wanna go cinemas? It might cheer you up." I smiled, of course I wanted to. I missed just chilling with the boys, maybe a good horror could make me smile. "Sure, now?" "Yeah, Chaz & Christian are here." "Cool." We drove to the cinemas, went inside & paid for our tickets straight up, and headed to the movie, when I noticed something, I didn't want to notice. I watched as they stood, his arms wrapped around her waist, smiling down at her, her smiling up at him. How could she bring him, to where we spent most our time, where we had our first date, and our last. Is this her way, of showing me she's over me? She's breaking my heart in the process. It's working. "That should be me, holding your hand, that should be me, making you laugh, that should be me, this is so sad, that should be me, that should be me, that should be me, feeling your kiss, that should be me, buying you gifts, this is so wrong, I can't go on, till you believe that, that should be me. I need to know should I fight, for our love for this long, it's getting harder to shield this pain in my heart." He shouldn't be with her, that should be me. It's hurting inside, watching them together, I needed to tell her, it should be me, not him. That I'm the one for her, she's just too blind to give me another chance. I need to know, if I should still give it a try, because without trying, I'm losing you all other again. I never should of let you go. That should be me. // wanted to write a JB one shot :-)

• published: 24 Aug 2010
• views: 583