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The evolving heart of modern marriage

Date
Illustration: Kerrie Leishman

Illustration: Kerrie Leishman

I've never been impressed by those economists who think they can use their little pocket model of the economy to explain every aspect of life. Who want to understand the search for a partner by thinking of marriage as a market. Who think the only motivation – the only emotion – is the desire to make a buck.

On the other hand, if economics is, as one great economist said, the study of the daily business of life, if none of us could exist without the wherewithal to pay for food, clothing, shelter and much else, if most of us have to work to earn that wherewithal, and if most of our time is devoted to producing and consuming, then it's hardly likely that big changes in the economy and education and technology have no effect on such things as marriage.

(While I'm on the topic, I'm never impressed by people who profess to have a soul above such a venal and boring subject as economics. Just threaten to cut their income and see if they're still so uninterested.)

Illustration: Andrew Dyson

Illustration: Andrew Dyson

So I thought it worth explaining the theories of two academic economists, Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers. Wolfers is the young Sydney economist, long resident in America, who's most likely to make a name for himself in international economics circles. Already has, really.

Wolfers has taken time off from his job as a professor at the University of Michigan while his partner, Stevenson, is working in Washington as an adviser to President Obama.

Their theory is that economic and social changes have caused the basic rationale for marriage to change from "productive" to "hedonic".

Historically, marriage has been the product of the economic environment of the time. People have used marriage and family to overcome the limitations of the formal economy at the time. Social institutions such as marriage have evolved as economic opportunities have changed and the economy's degree of development has risen.

There was a time – I can remember it – when a number of goods and services, such as freshly cooked meals and childcare, weren't sold in the marketplace. And when keeping house involved long hours of labour.

In such circumstances, it made sense for the family to become the firm producing these household services. It also made sense for the partners to a marriage to increase the efficiency of the "firm" by specialisation.

It was usually the case that husbands, being better educated, were better suited to going out and earning income in the marketplace, while wives had prepared themselves for a life of child-rearing and housekeeping.

Largely unconsciously, young women and men sought out partners they believed would be capable opposite numbers in such a production team.

Then followed, in the lifespan of the Baby Boomers, much technological and social change, all of it with economic implications.

With the invention of a host of "mod cons", housekeeping became a lot less time-consuming and onerous. Cheap imported clothing became available, so people stopped making and repairing their own. More processed foods and takeaways became available.

"While the political emancipation of women is surely a key factor in their movement from the home to the market, deeper economic forces are also at play," Stevenson and Wolfers say.

What came first? The rise of feminism, advances in technology or changes in the economy? Easiest to say they all happened at about the same time and interacted with each other.

Once girls started staying on to the end of school, then going on to uni, things really started to change, in the way partners were selected for marriage and in the things going on in the economy.

With more women wanting to take paid work, the market began supplying things to make that possible: more pre-prepared food, childcare, after-school care, people who mow your lawn, cleaners who can whip through your house in an hour before moving on to the next one.

"While the benefits of one member of a family specialising in the home have fallen, the costs of being such a specialist have risen. Improvements in the technology of birth control have made investing in a wife's human capital a better bet ...

"These greater opportunities also connote a greater opportunity cost for a couple contemplating a stay-at-home spouse," the authors say.

Advances in medicine have yielded rising life expectancy, and the average woman will now spend less than a quarter of her adult life with young children in the household.

By increasing the number of potential years in the labour force, the opportunity cost of women staying out of the labour market to be home with children is higher.

"Rising life expectancy also reduces the centrality of children to married life, as couples now expect to live together for decades after children have left the nest," they say.

With women now better educated than men, we've seen the rise of a human version of "assortative mating": the tendency for people to marry those of the same level of education, even the same occupation.

So what drives modern marriage? "We believe the answer lies in a shift from the family as a forum for shared production, to shared consumption . . . Modern marriage is about love and companionship. Most things in life are simply better [when] shared with another person.

"We call this new model of sharing our lives 'hedonic marriage'."

Ross Gittins is the Herald's economics editor

62 comments so far

  • And marriage is of course the union of a man and a woman (in alphabetical order).

    Commenter
    David Morrison
    Location
    Blue Mountains
    Date and time
    December 15, 2015, 10:28PM
    • @Morrison ... That would be except for ALL of those times throughout history and in the modern world that it hasn't been and isn't ... but hey, let's not lets FACTS get in the way of a chance to marginalise same-sex couples

      Commenter
      rob1966
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 6:42AM
    • @David Morrisson, quite correct, Marriage has been between a man and woman always throughout history. Those that oppose this view will offer the Roman Emperor Elagabalus, a 13th century Spanish priest, and go on to claim that obscure ancient or modern stone age cultures celebrated homo-sexual unions in the same way that they celebrated Homosexual ones. It's just not true.

      The Roman Empire rejected SSM when the Pretorian Guard killed Elagabalus,. The Spanish Priests effort was an unofficial one off that never was sanctioned outside his community. The Ancient Celts never considered Homosexual unions as the same as heterosexual ones.

      John Howard did not put a stop to SSM in Australia, as the where no Same Sex Marriages in Australia prior.

      There seems to be many attempts to rewrite history happening at the moment.

      Commenter
      Kingstondude
      Location
      Melbourne
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 7:11AM
    • 1.
      G'day David.
      Ross Gittins - thank you.
      You describe an evolution in our constructs and expectations of marriage – “from the ‘productive’ to ‘hedonic’.”
      Yet
      Our psychological processes will not have changed – marriage still no more than the concrete manifestation of our projections?
      Previously, our expectations (fantasy) were of an ‘economic security’ to be found in our partnership – more recently, to that we have added the hope of greater emotional fulfillment (the sense of attachment and connectedness with our partner).
      Irrespective of the epoch, we have always had ‘dreams’ and ‘hopes’ – and project these onto our prospective partner.
      Will you be what I want - can you provide what I want (need or expect)?
      Unsurprisingly
      We want our fantasy to become the reality – and who can be condemned for such wishful notions.
      That said
      Do we actually have the capacity (or desire) to ‘objectively’ assess our potential partner and their character – their suitability as a partner for us?
      Are we prepared to take responsibility – to trust our judgment in this decision, or do we make our partner responsible for our decision to marry them?
      Do we ‘project’ onto them our hopes and ‘needs’ – and become disappointed and angry when they turn out to be something we don’t want – different from our ‘dreams’?
      "You’ve let me down” – or was it that we just didn’t think enough about them?
      Can we ‘let go’ of that determined hope and move on - before committing to a marriage?

      Commenter
      Howe Synnott
      Location
      Sydney
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 7:36AM
    • 2.
      Or
      Do we hold doggedly to our dream - in the face of various ‘warning signs’ and alarm bells; clinging to that faded fantasy and feeling angry with our partner - for not being what we want them to be?
      It takes ‘two to tango’ – but it takes only one to ‘pull the pin’ and move on.
      These relationship adventures - all part of that wonderful journey of life; it’s character building and not to be missed.

      Commenter
      Howe Synnott
      Location
      Sydney
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 7:38AM
    • Unless they are homosexual and live in an enlightened and free society David.

      Commenter
      GRW
      Location
      Abbotsford
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 8:28AM
    • @Kingston and Morrison ... so now you acknowledge that same-sex unions occurred in history, but you ignore them because "they don't count" and in your opinion they "weren't treated the same as heterosexual unions".

      I'll add some more to your 'non-existent' historical records of same-sex unions that weren't "treated the same" (in your opinion):

      You probably reject We'wha - a key cultural and political leader in the south-western Native American nation Zuni community in the late 19th century; emissary to Washington; the strongest, wisest, and most esteemed member of his community; and the most revered Zuni lhamana (spiritual leader) of the 19th century. He was also married to a man.

      You probably also reject Ifeyinwa Olinke - a wealthy 19th century woman of the Igbo tribe, of what is now Eastern Nigeria; an industrious woman who controlled much of the Igbo tribe's wealth. Her epithet "Olinke" referred to the fact that she had nine wives.

      Cont.

      Commenter
      rob1966
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 8:36AM
    • @Kingston & Morrison ... some more of your "non existent" same-sex marriages:

      You probably also reject the military men of the Azande (in what is now Sudan) who took "male wives" and who considered the relationship a "marriage" both legally and culturally - the warrior paid 'brideswealth' (some five spears or more) to the parents of the "male wife", and performed services for them as he would had he married their daughter. If another man had relations with his "male wife" they could be sued for adultery.

      You probably also reject the Spartans (of Ancient Greece) and the Samurai of the Tokugawa period & 17th century Feudal Japan who had similar formal, legal and culturally accepted unions with male partners - also with strict penalties for infidelity.

      You probably also reject the great Mesopotamian ruler of Uruk, Gilgamesh; who was partnered to Enkidu (a male) "by the gods" (according to the myths) to divert Gilgamesh from wreaking havoc in the world.

      See, that's the great thing about recorded history ... You can attempt to ignore it as much as you like, but it's recorded and there for all to see no matter how much you say "it never happened"

      Commenter
      rob1966
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 9:37AM
    • I find it amusing and sad at the same time that those who oppose same sex marriage feel threatened by adults of the same sex marrying. They can never explain in a meaningful sense how it threatens or diminishes their own marriage. Or is just a case of prejudice pure and simple. Referencing history, especially the days of the Middle Ages as an argument against same sex marriage is a joke. The common belief at that time was that the sun revolved around the earth, which of course was flat, and that God was an omnipotent being who regularly intervened in the world order. Oh and of course they weren't far off their manifest expression of their religious beliefs, via the Inquisition and other heretic trials, and the need to put to death those who did not follow their faith.

      The world has moved on and so should the way we live our lives, unless of course you still believe that the 1950s, when the church was all powerful, was a golden era, as most conservatives do, conveniently forgetting the racism, sexism, bigotry, and child abuse which proliferated.

      Commenter
      Chardonnay Drinker
      Location
      Mosman
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 10:17AM
    • @ Rob, there have been some very obscure instances of Same Sex Union ceremonies throughout history..

      So we have only found two written accounts in the whole of European history. Obscure examples from primitive societies do not change history because mankind has never had a concept of Opposite and Same Sex Unions as being the same thing..SSM couples cannot produce their own children. Ancient peoples have always considered this when defining marriage.

      Now Ross Gittins has produced an opinion that today, in western societies, marriage is not so much about procreation. Other societies and cultures are not embracing Same Sex Marriage, because it is.

      Commenter
      Kingstondude
      Location
      Melbourne
      Date and time
      December 16, 2015, 10:30AM

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