Dear Comcast, Despite a dozen phone calls, direct messaging on Twitter, and emails with Tianna K., Wyesha P., Kenneth M., Bertha D., and Montrice A. in The Office of Tom Karinshak, I have a few unresolved issues with my account. I can't find any way to explain them to anyone who seems to be able to understand and help me, so I am hoping someone at Comcast--perhaps the fabled Tom Karinshak himself!--will see this and help. If you don't want to watch the videos, here's a simple summary of all I ask: 1. Stop calling me Donna. My name is David. The name I set up my account with and the name on the credit cards I've used to pay you is David. My parents named me David, and I've used this name for 37 years. It's a little late to change my name to Donna. So please change my name back to David. Please, Comcast? 2. Please don't address me as Ms. and Ma'am anymore. I understand why you would want to, given that you have renamed me Donna, but I am actually a man, not a woman. I'm not Caitlyn Jenner. Please don't call me Caitlyn and don't call me Donna. Thank you. 3. I paid you for a specific package, and you offered me a $100 Visa gift card. Then after you took my money, you told me I don't qualify for the Visa gift card. That's called bait and switch. It's a kind of fraud. Fraud is a kind of illegal activity. I know, Comcast, that you are a megacorporation and a monopoly and that this entitles you to commit fraud and other illegal practices with impunity; however, I do request that you make an exception and simply give me what you sold me. I ask this as a humble, hardworking American who has always paid you on time--despite your exorbitant costs. I paid you over $250 per month for cable and Internet for five years. The least you can do is keep one single promise to me. And don't call me Donna anymore. 4. It's too late for this, but for the sake of others, consider showing up when you are scheduled to install a new service in their homes. I know it's a radical idea. I know I'm walking the edge of sanity to suggest that you keep any promises, at all, ever, but I will be so bold as to suggest that you consider doing that--just once in a while. 5. Maybe actually listen to customers' requests and try to resolve those problems instead of ones that you invent. For example, I told a representative that I use my personal gmail address to sign into my account and that I have never, not once, used my Comcast email address to send or receive an email because I already have a personal account that I prefer to use. Somehow this opened a "trouble ticket" and I keep getting calls from sales reps who want to help me migrate my coveted old Comcast email account to my new Comcast account (the one under the name "Donna"--which is not my name). I never, ever made this request. I do not care what email address you assign me because I don't intend to use it. If anyone had listened to me or read the emails I've sent, then that person would have understood that I honestly do not give a damn. Stop calling me and telling me you want to help me migrate my old email account per my request. I have never made this request. 6. Stop lying. Stop using fraudulent practices. I know, I know, more radical ideas. Yes, yes, call me crazy, but this is my suggestion. You don't have to offer people $100 gift cards. That is a choice your company made. But if you DO offer $100 gift cards, you should give people those gift cards. You should not tell those people they are not entitled to those gift cards after they have purchased your services. Because that's is just a really rotten thing to to do. It's really horrible. Who are you people? 7. MY NAME IS NOT DONNA. STOP CALLING ME DONNA. SERIOUSLY. STOP. I don't care if you think I sound girly. I don't care if YouTube trolls think I am too gay or ugly. I really don't care. Just call me by my actual name. Is that really too much to ask? Is it, Tianna K.? Is it, Wyesha P.? Is it, Kenneth M.? Is it, Bertha D.? Is it, Montrice A.? Is it, Tom Karinshak? I double checked all of your names. It's not a lot of extra effort. Please call me by my name. Don't call me Donna.

• published: 27 Jun 2015
• views: 1