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Jun 03

Leviathan’s Deep

1 Comment »

She was incredibly sensitive about her long-leg-itus!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Andy SSRAT Comments: A cover I spotted in a down under book shop. Just had to buy it!
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.83 out of 10)
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Jun 02

The Swordbearer

1 Comment »

My ting! Is bigger than your ting!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Time to see who has the biggest TING!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.44 out of 10)
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May 23

Honourable Mentions 13

1 Comment »

YES! It’s not only a bank holiday on Monday but the site is working! Woo! That means we can finally do another Honourable Mentions!

Thanks to all of you who constantly checked the site for over a month to see if it was working again! I missed all your comments, though oddly I actually got some work done. Anyway, I’m back to my normal pace now! Till the site breaks again…

Dude... you should get some cream for that or something!Click for full image

Scott W’s Art Direction: Ok, I need me a Ben Franklin, some lecherous 18th century dudes copping feels (or having their feels copped) by busty harlots, and oh yeah, can you possibly have Mr. Hundred Dollar Bill ride in on a cardboard lightning bolt with a pleasantly startled expression on his mug?
Published 1980

Click for full imageNext stop for Kong, the Betty Ford Clinic.

Matt Comments: It wasn’t the airplanes. It was chain smoking that killed the beast.
Published 1977

Click for full imageWatch out! You'll poke someones eye out with those things...

Click for full imageThankfully I travelled first class, so at least I'll get a bacon sandwich on my return from forbidden love!

Ian R Comments: Do you accept old pulp sci-fi magazine covers? I hope you use them, if only because of that… thing on the woman’s neck/shoulder. It looks quite uncomfortable.
Published between 1955 & 1958

BONUS SPECIAL OFFER!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.69 out of 10)
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May 22

The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf

31 Comments »

Being a werewolf is so stressful... do you know how many clothes I go through?Click for full image

Rachel and Thomas comment: In the book, the cover girl struggles with anxiety, depression, an estranged family, substance abuse, an eating disorder, self-harming, fits of violence, illiteracy, poor self-esteem, and the titular lycanthropy. It is just plain cruel to make her poorly drawn as well.
Published 2014

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.14 out of 10)
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May 21

Earthman’s Burden

1 Comment »

You just straddle it! Don't do... whatever you are doing to it! Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I have to think of everything around here! Just put Paddington Bear in a cowboy hat on top of a thing… and I really mean a thing! I want readers to stop and say, “What the hell is that thing!?!” Got it?
Published 1970

Many thanks to CH@os!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.54 out of 10)
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May 13

The Broken Sword

1 Comment »

How do you like to be poked with a uranium rod? eh! EH!?!Click for full image

Lauren F’s Art Direction: Since this story is about elves and changeling babies and magic, it definitely makes sense to represent it on the cover with an electrical plug attacking a lady holding a fluorescent light bulb.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.08 out of 10)
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May 12

Her Majesty’s Wizard

1 Comment »

So... It's not a dog... I admit that... and I have pretty much conjured a sin against nature. But come on, how can you refuse that face!?Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Now this here is a real fine used dragon, ma’am. The previous owner was a little old lady who only drove it on Sundays.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.45 out of 10)
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May 09

Fantastic

1 Comment »

And we are back! Woo hoo! Enjoy all these great covers and pieces of art from Frank!

We keep the devil downstairs... my daughter paints his nails. Click for slightly larger image

I couldn’t help but wonder what this cover art was about: the Cosmic Striptease, or The Devil Downstairs. So I looked within, where I found….
Published 1957

Nothing like a good fedora to make women spontaneously combust!Click for slightly larger image

“Beautiful women were Satan’s main weapon. They made sin look so attractive.”

Wow... the cosmos has some great legs... just legs... they are pretty great... I guess...Click for slightly larger image

“Millions of Earthlings gaped while the Martian show went on.” Apparently the Martians had a pretty good grasp of human anatomy.

Sorry! I picked up my wood from the local store this morning! Try next door! OH... a MOOD merchant... uh be right there.Click for slightly larger image

Further in, for another story titled, “Excitement For Sale!!”
“He was a mood-merchant, a happiness-huckster, peddling dreams from door to door.”

That is... FANTASTIC!Click for slightly larger image

Table of contents so you can see all the authors and cover art credit.

I guess they should have bought mood and dreams from the mood merchant.Click for slightly larger image

I may have to go back and read this one to get the context for, “women were flung heartlessly into space”.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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Apr 24

Technical Difficulties

147 Comments »

That's right... we run the server on a Cray 1! The most awesome supercomputer to ever exist... possibly...

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.72 out of 10)
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Apr 04

To the Devil – a Daughter

1 Comment »

To be fair, a flaming goat's head wasn't the best 18th birthday present.Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: A naked woman… and a goat’s head! Two of the most Satanic things ever… well, according to Wheatley. So just get them on there, we’ll get the attention of all those 14-year-olds!
Published 1975

Bonus movie trailer: To the Devil… a Daughter
starring Christopher Lee, Richard Widmark, Nastassja Kinski,
Honor Blackman, and Denholm Elliott

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.13 out of 10)
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