Dr. Cox Interview With Psychologist - S01E15 - ALL RIGHTS TO NBC, ABC, and Doozer

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• published: 21 May 2013
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Scrubs Season 1 Episode 15: My Bed Banter & Beyond. All rights reserved to NBC, ABC Studios, and Doozer. Fair Use Section 107 of the Copyright Act. Educational purposes only. I wanted to capture the moment of Dr. Cox being cynical. Full transcript thanks to Scrubs Wikia (http://scrubs.wikia.com/wiki/My_Bed_Banter_%26_Beyond_transcript) Dr. Cox: Well gosh, I guess I became a doctor because, ever since I was a little boy, I just wanted to help people. I don't...tell this story very often, but, I remember when I was seven years old, one time I found a bird that had fallen out of its nest. And so, I picked him up, and I brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoebox, and--- [he begins laughing] Oh my God! [sighs to regain composure] I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does: Chicks, money, power, and chicks. But, since HMOs have made it virtually impossible to make any real money, which directly affects the number of chicks who come sniffing around -- and don't ask me what tree they're barkin' up, 'cause they're sure as hell not pissin' on mine. And as far as power goes, well, here I am during my free time letting some thirteen-year-old psychology fellow who couldn't cut it in real medicine ask me questions about my personal life. So, here's the inside scoop, there, pumpkin: Why don't you go ahead and tell me all about power. Relationships. Well, Sigmund, relationships are so fragile, it just takes one thing, one...tiny little offense, and it can snowball on ya. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid, you better tuck and go, my friend...And bam! The shine's off the apple. And that's when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn't a pretty little girl at all. No, she's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the "whoa-whoa, here she comes" kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. Of course, I may have tormented her from time to time; but, honest to God, that's what I thought marriage was all about. So much so that, by the end of that relationship, I honestly don't know who I hated more -- her or me? I used to sit around and wonder...why our friends weren't trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here, it turns out, the answer's pretty simple: They weren't unhappy. We were. Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it. Bottom line...is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down...One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time, if it's right, and they're real lucky. One of them will say something.