5 Ridiculous Victorian Etiquette Rules

• published: 07 Aug 2015
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These 5 Victorian customs might seem crazy by the standards of many cultures today! Article: http://www.howstuffworks.com/10-ridiculous-victorian-etiquette-rules.htm Editor's Note: The stories of "Downton Abbey" and "Pride and Prejudice" do not actually take place within the Victorian Era. They are merely being used for visual reference. Subscribe http://bit.ly/1AWgeM7 Twitter https://twitter.com/HowStuffWorks Facebook https://www.facebook.com/HowStuffWorks Google+ https://plus.google.com/+howstuffworks Website http://www.howstuffworks.com Watch More https://www.youtube.com/HowStuffWorks Transcript: * Street etiquette. OK, imagine you’re an unmarried lady out for a stroll in 19th-century London. First of all, you better not be alone. That’s right: You need an escort. But what happens if you see a man you recognize? Well, first of all, he’s not allowed to talk to you unless you make a gesture of recognition first. Which, OK, I can kind of see the appeal of that one – you don’t have to pretend to be doing something on your phone to avoid making eye contact, etc. But let’s say you really want to stop and talk to this guy: Well... you can’t. Or at least you shouldn’t. If you want to talk to him, instead of stopping, you can offer him your hand, which he can take, but only _after_ lifting his hat, using the hand farthest away from you. Once he takes your hand, he has to walk along with you, but even then you can’t just gab away. According to _Cassell’s Household Guide_, "Strict reticence of speech and conduct should be observed in public." That means no "loud talking" or "animated discussions." And if you see a gentleman you’d like to speak to, but he’s smoking a cigar, tough luck. It is amazingly rude for a man to smoke in the presence of a woman, so if you acknowledge him, he’ll have to put out his cigar, and for all you know it might have been a really expensive cigar, and now you’ve just ruined his morning. Nice work, Myrtle. * Presentation at court. Do you ever have that problem where you want to date the neighbor’s daughter but you don’t know if she’s technically “on the market” yet, or if her parents still consider her a child? No? Good! Because that’s amazingly creepy! Fortunately, the Victorians had a formalized system for avoiding this problem: Presentation at court. If you were a respectable family who wanted to announce that your son or daughter was ready for courtship -- which is basically dating, minus all the fun, plus a lot of conversations with chaperones to determine if young men were predisposed to “base amusements” -- you could do this at a specialized event. Young men could be introduced at events called “levees,” which were held several times a year. Young ladies could be introduced at presentation events held at St. James Palace – and these events didn’t skimp on the pomp and protocol either. Men had to wear buckled shoes and swords. Ladies had to stick tall feathers in their hair and drag 3-yard trains behind their dresses. But once the kids are ready to start dating, that’s when the etiquette fangs really sink in: * Courtship etiquette. Lots of parents get weirdly strict and judgmental when their kids start dating, but Victorian England really took it to another level. First of all, etiquette manuals of the time advised young lovers that, technically, you’re _supposed_ to look for partners only within your own social class, because we all know how awkward it is when you’re a Baroness and you’re trying to chat up a nice Viscount, and his mother is just right over there on the fainting couch looking at you with eyes that say, “Trash.” Of course, even if you can get a nice courtship going, you’re going to have to deal with the elephant in the room, which is, let’s face it: People marry for money. And social status. Victorian England operated under the law of primogeniture, which meant that when old moneybags passed away, his entire estate went to the oldest son. So it was just kind of expected that eligible ladies would seek oldest sons. Meanwhile, young noblemen with troubled assets would try to court rich heiresses, sometimes from a lower social rank – say, the daughter of a highly successful crinoline merchant. On top of all these awkward expectations, the courtship itself had more chaperones than a middle school dance, and young couples could never expect be left in privacy… basically, until they were married. Oh, and here’s another one – Pop quiz: What do wild turkeys, mule deer and marriageable young ladies in Victorian England have in common? They all have a “season” for hunting! Young men looking for ladies to court would search at social events during “the season,” which lasted from January through June. If a lady didn’t find a husband after three “seasons”, everybody knew... it was spinsterhood for Agnes.