Bon Jovi is country music for people from NJ. Billy Joel is a cover for people who will never admit they actually love showtunes.
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A Wench of Excellent Discourse
@stuytownfool
Mostly harmless.
Astoria, QueensJoined January 2011
A Wench of Excellent Discourse’s Tweets
Chipotle has a candle called “water cup” but it smells like lemonade as a ‘hey we see you’ to the thieves chile 😂💀
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I KNOW SPIKE TAPE IS EXPENSIVE AND ALL BUT THERE IS A REAL SATISFACTION WHEN YOU’RE ABLE TO GET ALL THE PROPS TO FIT ON ONE TABLE AND EACH ONE HAS THERE OWN UNIQUELY SHAPED AREA ON THE TABLE. ITS LIKE PLAYING TETRIS IN REAL LIFE BUT I KNOW THE PROP RAKE HAS TO STAND NEXT TO TABLE
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Disappointed to find out “deplatforming” people doesn’t mean throwing them off a high platform.
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Are you quiet quitting or did the world end and somehow you still have to go to work
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everything actually being cake is a step up from everything actually being cauliflower and I'm excited to see where we go from here
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5000 newspapers died for this
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Beef of the day: When male celebs announce they are struggling with mental illness the articles use smolderingly handsome shots. When it’s a woman celeb they use the one where they are screaming and holding a chicken.
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The John Fetterman strategy of treating your opponent as an asshole and a prick is much, much better than the post-2016 strategy of painting every GOP politician as a civilizational danger. Even if it's true, a huge segment of the electorate regards that as a positive.
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Question. Is it a teacher shortage - or is it a systemic effort to privatize the nation's public schools?
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America does not have good enough healthcare for y’all to choose lead poisoning from clothes.
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this is a Sophomore at the New School if yall saw true dirtbags youd call the National Guard
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Man’s Crippling, Overpowering Need To Be Liked By Everyone Apparently Not Affecting His Behavior bit.ly/3zQ6Fnx
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especially when you're a Jet
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truly insane to me how many people with uteri are just walking around, in incredible pain because of menstruation, PCOS, and/or endometriosis, and society expects them to deal with it through individual responsibility for decades
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I wish I could be all nonchalant like some people, unfortunately I’m chalant af. 😭
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The CDC is like only gargle infected jizz on Fridays
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Dr. Leo Spaceman from 30 Rock deserves his own Better Call Saul
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The FBI has raided my home in an attempt to find the bathrobe I took from the Cleveland Ritz Carlton in 2012. I appreciate privacy during this difficult time.
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New CDC Guidance just dropped
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Not a fan of Adolf Hitler but putting him in jail after the Beer Hall Putsch was a heavy-handed stunt that backfired badly.
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rooting for this poor local reporter who is having a weird day
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Fernet is just jager for people with masters degrees.
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“nobody wants to work.” yeah, no shit. have you been to work? it blows
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I typo’d the word halfway and it auto corrected to ham fest and now I want a ham fest
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"Lemon, during my brief stint as CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery I canceled two movies: Batgirl and Scoob: Holiday Haunt."
"Wow, the scripts must have been terrible"
"No, the finished films were actually quite good."
"They were finished!?!"
"Lemon, have you ever heard of... taxes?"
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I'm easily showing the most underboob at this Home Depot.
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please provide a better distillation of modern american conservatism than “your skirt is too short for our public execution” I dare you
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ADOC officials just told a reporter that her skirt is too short to witness the execution. Other reporters were able to find her pants to wear.
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it’s gonna be so hard to explain to my kids why i had them when all the evidence said the world was falling apart. i’m just gonna have to tell them the truth. i ran out of content ideas in my late 30’s.
now say a cuss word for the camera, sweet pea, daddy needs a gucci purse.
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Sorry but if we let people choose their own gender then what's next? Something else that's none of my business and won't harm me in the slightest? I mean where does it end?
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airport report 7:30 am saw a lady drinking chardonnay and a man eating a foot of tuna no notes america you’re doing great
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When they’re a 10 but will bite off your head and consume your body after the deed. ☠️
It’s true. Female praying mantises are known to cannibalize their mates after mating; in some species, male mantises have been observed fighting back to avoid being consumed by their lover.
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