Half Baked is a 1998 stoner comedy film starring Dave Chappelle, Jim Breuer, Harland Williams and Guillermo Díaz. The movie was directed by Tamra Davis, and co-written by star Dave Chappelle and Neal Brennan (Brennan was later writer and co-creator of Chappelle's Comedy Central show Chappelle's Show). Cameo appearances include Steven Wright, Tommy Chong, Janeane Garofalo, Willie Nelson, Tracy Morgan, Snoop Dogg, Jon Stewart, Stephen Baldwin and Bob Saget.
Thurgood Jenkins (Dave Chappelle) and his friends Brian (Breuer) and Scarface (Diaz) are forced into selling marijuana stolen from the lab where Thurgood works as a "master of the custodial arts" (janitor) in order to bail their friend Kenny (Williams) out of jail, after he accidentally kills Buttercup, a diabetic police horse, by feeding it junk food. Their business, named Mr. Nice Guy in honor of their good-natured incarcerated friend, becomes immensely popular, even attracting famous clientele. Thurgood's personal life is ruined once his adamantly anti-drug girlfriend, ironically named Mary Jane Potman (Rachel True), discovers that he works for Mr. Nice Guy. Soon, all of their lives are in danger once Samson Simpson, a local drug lord, learns that Mr. Nice Guy is costing him business, including his former client rapper Sir Smoke-a-Lot. He threatens to kill them if they do not pay him 20 grand every week. Brian buys a pouch that is supposed to contain the ashes of Jerry Garcia with some of the money they are making, and Scarface buys a rottweiler named Killer.
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If I'da known what would happen
I would of stayed in bed
But you know how it is when
You get something in your head
If anyone calls say I'm dead
I should of cried instead of
Smiling all day long
But you know how it is when
You're young you're so headstrong
And you jumped right in headlong
You don't care
Half baked
I wasn't ready but I couldn't wait
Half baked
I wasn't ready but I couldn't wait
I know now I was half baked
I don't belong to no one
Though you're the one I said I loved
I want to look at everyone
But heaven's above
You're the one I said I loved...
I loved
Listen
Half baked
I wasn't ready but I couldn't wait
Half baked
I wasn't ready but I couldn't wait
I know now I was half baked
Half baked
I wasn't ready but I couldn't wait
Half baked
I wasn't ready but I couldn't wait
I know now I was half baked
Listen
Half baked
I was not ready but I couldn't wait
Half baked
I wasn't ready but I couldn't wait
Wildin out in Candy Land, what will it take
To make motherfuckers understand I'm half baked?
Wildin out in Candy Land, what will it take
To make motherfuckers understand I'm half baked?
Wildin out in Candy Land, what will it take
To make motherfuckers understand I'm half baked?
Wildin out in Candy Land, what will it take
To make motherfuckers understand?
Snatch Baby Ruth, for money I had to take her
Slim Jim stepped in, caught a Jawbreaker
Like peanut brittle sent baby in bits
Offer made, Juicy Fruit don't want a Doublemint
Jack was a cracker, killed Cracker Jack
Didn't like my skin, gingerbread and that's a fact
Double murder killed Mike and Ike for a hundred grand
For cookie dough don't trip, do this shit for Fun Dip
Payday right on Fifth Avenue
Said welcome to the Big League Chew
Alexander the Great hate me, had to go
Bodied him while hanging out at Jolly Joe's
Gummy bears, gumdrop dime, he had to learn
Put him six feet under, left with gummi worms
Coconut Stacks, no time for making Skittles
Serving Lemonheads, Appleheads, Cherryheads, Red Hots making sizzles
Wildin out in Candy Land, what will it take
To make you motherfuckers understand I'm half baked?
Wildin out in Candy Land, what will it take
To make you motherfuckers understand I'm half baked?
Met a sweetie at a Hershey Bar named Jujube
She hung with Jolly Ranchers, a real Hot Tamale
Stomach rumbling, glad the bar served food
Payed for her dish, cause eating alone is damn rude
Baked Beans, Swedish Fish, barrels of root beer
Her freakiest experience was 3 Musketeers
We left the bar together, said she'd give me a Bit-O-Honey
I want a candy necklace why don't you be my Sugar Daddy
I had the Laffy Taffy, Starburst, Bubble Yum
I'm not a Milk Dud, where you think I come from?
I'm Mr. Goodbar, can never be a vanilla wafer
You get no Jesus Reese's Pieces on it's Now and Later
Okay Gingy, can't resist your Bubblicious
She gave me Blow Pops, Gumballs, and Hershey's Kisses
Almond Joy all night, Kit Kat, Good & Plenty
Lifesaver thought she was dying moaning Oh Henry!
Wildin out in Candy Land, what will it take
To make you motherfuckers understand I'm half baked?
Wildin out in Candy Land, what will it take
To make you motherfuckers understand I'm half baked?
Come on, come on, don't get mad man
It's just candy
Come on, come on, don't get mad
It's just candy
It's just candy
It's just candy
Don't get mad, it's just candy
Don't get mad, it's just candy
Don't get mad, it's just candy
It's just candy
Damn, it's just candy
Don't get mad, it's just candy
Don't get mad, it's just candy man
Just fucking candy
we just gon get fuckin high
we ain't got nothing to do its friday
we ain't no job
All my niggaz get ya weed
Go get all ya Phillies
No White Owls go get them Dutchies
And shit like that
And lets get high on this one
And all niggaz get drunk too
Cause i get drunk too
I'm a drunk man
Thats right, know what I mean?
who got that liqour
Lets get fuckkkkkkkedddd up!!!
[Chorus: Noreaga x2]
Smoke weed nigga and let me see y'all smoke
And get high nigga and let me hear y'all choke
And drink some hennesay nigga
And you can mix it with coke
I hit the bar up with cream and wont leave till I'm broke
[VERSE 1]
Aiyyo I'm half baked
Half of my brain done baked
Married to marijuana, yo she got a fat ass
But know I fuck with her sister
Yo her name black hash
we have menaj in the car kid and still don't crash
Cousin Heineken had me flipping and dippin
I hate that bitch but you I'm still sippin
I'm in Corona now
I fuck with ayo I fuck with Hennea Seya and Theresa
Flew us out of town kid, charge it to the VISA
we all drunk up fucked up and smoked out too
Sometimes I get so high I think I do kung-fu
Straight sneeze on niggaz
Like ha-choo, disrespect they food
Thought I told em I'm rude
Coke head niggaz try to sober up in the new
I went to Philly smoked weed with Red and Meth
It was Phillie after Phillie then still acting silly then
Last Phillie wasnt even in Philly
[Chorus]
[Bridge: Noreaga]
Do the drunk man nigga
Do the drunk man
Do the drunk man nigga
Do the drunk man
Do the drunk man nigga
Do the drunk man
Do the drunk man nigga
Do the drunk man
[VERSE 2]
I guess I explain
Smoke green straight to the brain
Marijuana ain't a drug it's just like your chick
You gotta understand it
Then fuck your bitch, fuck whatever else nigga, just fuck the bitch
I get real nice
while y'all niggaz fuck with detox
I smoke weed on my way to the weed spot
wassup y'all ain't nothing wrong with that
I rather you smoke on weed than smoke on gats
I ain't a role model nigga but i model my raps
If I could do it all over still live in Iraq
I probably come back and try to save my man Killa Black
I save my bloody money kid and bring it to laundromats
Get High
Chill High
Real High
I Make the Judge and jury just comply with I
Get right up in ya business nigga like I was a private eye
[Chorus]
* This song was alleged to be on "Melvin Flynt" but is
not on the final release version; possibly from a bootleg.
we just gon get fuckin high
we ain't got nothing to do its friday
we ain't no job
All my niggaz get ya weed
Go get all ya Phillies
No White Owls go get them Dutchies
And shit like that
And lets get high on this one
And all niggaz get drunk too
Cause i get drunk too
I'm a drunk man
Thats right, know what I mean?
who got that liqour
Lets get fuckkkkkkkedddd up!!!
Chorus: Noreaga (repeat 2X)
Smoke weed nigga and let me see y'all smoke
And get high nigga and let me hear y'all choke
And drink some hennesay nigga
And you can mix it with coke
I hit the bar up with cream and wont leave till I'm broke
--=={1ST VERSE}==--
Aiyyo I'm half baked
Half of my brain done baked
Married to marijuana, yo she got a fat ass
But know I fuck with her sister
Yo her name black hash
we have menaj in the car kid and still don't crash
Cousin Heineken had me flipping and dippin
I hate that bitch but you I'm still sippin
I'm in Corona now
I fuck with ayo I fuck with Hennea Seya and Theresa
Flew us out of town kid, charge it to the VISA
we all drunk up fucked up and smoked out too
Sometimes I get so high I think I do kung-fu
Straight sneeze on niggaz
Like ha-choo, disrespect they food
Thought I told em I'm rude
Coke head niggaz try to sober up in the new
I went to Philly smoked weed with Red and Meth
It was Phillie after Phillie then still acting silly then
Last Phillie wasnt even in Philly
Chorus
Bridge: Noreaga
Do the drunk man nigga
Do the drunk man
Do the drunk man nigga
Do the drunk man
Do the drunk man nigga
Do the drunk man
Do the drunk man nigga
Do the drunk man
--=={2ND VERSE}==--
I guess I explain
Smoke green straight to the brain
Marijuana ain't a drug it's just like your chick
You gotta understand it
Then fuck your bitch, fuck whatever else nigga, just fuck the bitch
I get real nice
while y'all niggaz fuck with detox
I smoke weed on my way to the weed spot
wassup y'all ain't nothing wrong with that
I rather you smoke on weed than smoke on gats
I ain't a role model nigga but i model my raps
If I could do it all over still live in Iraq
I probably come back and try to save my man Killa Black
I save my bloody money kid and bring it to laundromats
Get High
Chill High
Real High
I Make the Judge and jury just comply with I
Get right up in ya business nigga like I was a private eye
Chorus