DR. MICHAEL SHERMER is known as an editor, a skeptic, a TED talker, a thinker. Others see him as “that intellectual lightweight who loves Ayn Rand and didn’t ‘understand’ global warming until unconscionably recently.”

And that debate, dear Internet, rages on.

“Hey, baby, check out mah thumb.”

Last week, a new portrait of Shermer emerged. And it’s pretty rape-y. The portrait. You’ve seen it, the portrait, by now. Ugly stuff, that portrait.

So I decided to e-mail The Sherm and find out what’s going on! So here’s that, without many editin, cuz lazy…

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Alex Jones’ Infowars Debunks “Solar Killshot,” Reason.com Claims Dog the Bounty Hunter to Track NSA Leaker

Snowden, seen here, enjoys his new Russian clipping path

Considering the ridiculous source, Alex Jones’ megalomaniacal delusion emporium, shock-bait/wank-fest Infowars.com, this one of the funniest things you’ll ever read:

The Internet is ablaze with yet another baseless conspiracy theory that only serves to distract from real cover-ups and issues of genuine significance – the hoax that NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden recently warned of a “solar flare killshot’ set to wipe out hundreds of millions of people in September.

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Some people on Twitter are wondering: Wha’ happen’? Well, since I’ve been writing about my ridiculous battle with the law since its inception, and it’s rather long, here’s the cheat sheet:

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A drunken BEAST publisher Paul Fallon semi-coherently reviews an obscure sci-fi film from the ’70s, talks “American Exceptionalism” and selfishness, and wonders what the damn kids are always doing on their phones.

The following doodle originally appeared at The Progressive…

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Previously in this seemingly endless legal saga, which began over two years ago when I was arrested for videotaping a cop at a National Organization for Marriage (NOM) anti-gay marriage rally in Buffalo, NY, my lawyer Paul Fallon successfully stayed my jail sentence pending the outcome of our appeal.

Murphy on the lam?

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Fallon drinks an unknown quantity of box wine, rants about the rigged game called capitalism.

This interview originally appeared at The Progressive.

Oscar-nominated documentary filmmakers Carl Deal and Tia Lessin set out to discover how the unlimited political spending codified by Citizen United v. The FEC is altering democracy on the state level. What they learned instead was a bitter lesson about censorship when PBS refused to air their new movie.

I gave ’em a call.

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A somewhat inebriated Paul Fallon rambles semi-coherently on the American police state, corruption, Snowden, Manning, the persecution of Barrett Brown, and the ultimate fate of the human race.

(For best results, adjust your audio settings to mumble-mode.)

Yes. The first rant of many.