Hetalia: Axis Powers (2009)

Actors: Michiko Neya (actress), Romi Pak (actress), Yuki Kaida (actress), Takuya Hiramitsu (writer), Ken Takeuchi (actor), Bob Shirahata (director), Keiichi Matsuda (producer), Akira Sasanuma (actor), Conisch (composer), Kazutada Tanaka (actor), Hidekazu Himaruya (writer), Atsushi Kosaka (actor),

Genres: Animation, Comedy,
Taglines: Make pasta not war!

Quotes:

Austria: You moron! Why did you become allied with Italy?::Germany: Well... let's just say that there's a lot more to it than you think. It's better to have more people on our side, isn't it?::Austria: No! He's probably mass-producing white flags as we speak! I'll express how angry I am with this piano.::Germany: Alright, go for it.::[Austria proceeds to play a lengthy piece. Germany waits patiently]::Austria: Do you understand now?::Germany: So your anger is Chopin...?

[Russia, America, England, France and China are roasting marshmellows around a fire as England sings a demonic song]::U.K.: The fire flares up and burns it to a crisp./Enflames it from side to side and burns it to a crisp./It leaves not a trace...::America: [Hysterical] I feel like we're summoning a devil or something!

Germany: [Germany is training Italy] Alright, beginning with instructions. Today concerns your interactions in the military with your inferiors!::Italy: [Salutes] Yes, sir! Germ - er, Captain!::Germany: Okay, first off. Before they're your inferiors, they're human beings. Thus, it's important to touch them gently.::Italy: [Pets the cat he is holding] Gentle? Stroke, stroke.::Germany: And sometimes, you must be strict!::Italy: Strict! Paw out! [Repeatedly squeezes the cat's paw] Squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish!::[the cat licks Italy's face. He screams]::Italy: Captain! What's happening? This is mutiny! It's mutiny!::Germany: The hell are you doing, Italy!

[England is attempting to curse Germany by summoning a demon through a magic ritual]::U.K.: I summon thee, from faraway lands! Come forth!::[Russia's head emerges through the pentagram in the floor]::Russia: You called?

[Germany is shopping at a supermarket, while a narrator comments in Japanese and English]::Narrator: You're a German. Out shopping. Luckily, you were able to obtain a bunch of sausages, but the check-out area is really crowded.::[We see all the countries lined up in the check-out area, with Germany at the end]::Narrator: This is because the cashier is Spanish, and they're known for their carefree and easy lifestyle. That's why a crowded check-out area is a daily thing to them. To make matters worse, the easygoing Greek is putting his groceries up *very* slowly. This scene is natural in Greece.::[Southern Italy, whistling nochalantly, cuts in line two people ahead of Germany, who is beginning to become frustrated]::Narrator: Then an Italian cuts in line. In Italy, cutting in line is a normal thing to do. Did that irritate you? The Austrian in front of you is even angrier.::Spain: Oh, really?::Greece: Yup.::Spain: Oh, really?::Greece: Yup.::Spain: Oh, really?::Greece: Yup.::Narrator: Oh, no! Now the Spanish and the Greek have started to chat!::Italy: [Walks up and stands in line behind Germany] Ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve...::Narrator: Another Italian. He didn't cut in line, but he's really loud. The Japanese man wants to say something, but he doesn't.::Austria: [to the cashier among the gradually increasing commotion] Hey, you! Take your job seriously! Look how long the line is! Are you listening, you moron!::Russia: Dunno, the line looks normal to me.::Spain: [Completely oblivious to the chaos] Oh, really?::Austria: For Christ's sake!::Sweden: Another peaceful day...::Finland: Well then, I'll tell you a funny joke while we're waiting in line!::[the entire line has now erupted into chattering, bickering, and America laughing obnoxiously in the background. Germany appears to be at the end of his rope]

Germany: [Training Italy, holding a grenade] I'll teach you how to use a hand grenade. First, remove and discard the pin to arm it. [Removes the pin with his teeth and tosses the grenade, which explodes tremendously on the cliff in front of them] Then throw it at the enemy's position... is how it goes. Think you can handle it?::Italy: [Dazed as usual] Yes, understood! If it's just that, I think I can do it if I try!::Germany: [Is then hit in the head with something] Hey, don't throw it at-! [Turns and sees he was hit with the grenade pin, and Italy has the grenade in his mouth, humming] You've got it backwards! Backwards! Hurry up and throw it! If you don't hurry up and throw it, you'll go "boom"! [Screams in horror]

Germany: Dear diary. Today, Italy was attacked by England and France while I was out.::[Cut to England hitting Italy on the head]::Italy: [Whimpering] Ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve...::Germany: Hey! Quit hitting Italy when I'm not around!::[England runs away]::Germany: Get back here! Hit him again, and I'll shape Iona up like a heart! [Runs after him]::France: Take this! [Hits Italy as he cries]::Germany: [Offscreen] CUT IT OUT!

Germany: [Narrating] One night, I couldn't sleep well and opened my eyes... [cut to a disheveled looking man standing over him] to find some strange guy staring at me.::Roman Empire: What? So this is Italy's ally? For some reason, I'm a bit annoyed.::Germany: Who the hell are you!::Roman Empire: What did you say? You must be really ignorant if you don't know who I am. As you can see from my sculpture-like beauty, and my steel-like strength, I'm none other than the great Roman Empire, the supreme ruler of the Mediterranean! [Germany points a gun in his face]::Germany: Get out, you suspicious bastard! What are you planning? On top of that, impersonating the Roman Empire, a man I have deep respect for, is unforgivable!::Roman Empire: I'm serious though...::Germany: Shut your trap! From now on, speak only when you're answering my questions. Who the hell are you?::Germany: Whoa, food! [takes a bite of a raw potato] I'm the great Roman Empire.::Germany: Because of what you just said, I've decided to put a bullet through your head.::Roman Empire: Don't get so worked up! Come on, you heard my beautiful voice, remember?::Germany: That was you? Well, why are you here?::Roman Empire: Oh yeah, I forgot! [pulls back Germany's bedsheets to reveal a content Italy, deep in sleep] I came to see my precious grandson!::Germany: Hang on! Why is he in my bed?::Roman Empire: [Cuddles Italy] Gosh, you're so damn cute! You're such a good boy!::Germany: A dream! A dream! This is all a dream!

Italy: [On the phone with Japan] Listen to this! I woke up earlier than Germany for once!::Japan: Are you serious? We must celebrate this occasion with a dish of red bean rice!

Italy: The other day, I had an extremely disgusting pizza. England made it.